As someone whose DH has battled cocaine addiction, I can perhaps provide a slightly different view point.
I’ve always been completely against drugs of any kind, however my DH and I had already been together for years and had a DC together before he started taking it. He didn’t even go on nights out and barely drank, but he did find himself in an extremely high pressure job and was completely burnt out. He also happened to work in an industry where it is utterly rife. Someone offered it to him in work, he (very stupidly) took it, and suddenly his highly stressful job suddenly felt easier and more manageable. And thus, an addiction was born.
Over a year later before I found out about it, and was completely by chance when I stumbled upon a bank statement…
My world fell apart. But I was determined. I didn’t bring a child into this world for them to have an addict as a father and for their life to be ruined because of this. I forced him to tell his family, one of whom in particular had been super helpful in working with us to get him help and hold him responsible. He started going to CA. He started to and still does see a drug councillor. He does a drug test weekly. He left the toxic, horrible working environment that was impacting his mental health as well as providing very easy access to this horrible drug. And just today actually, he got a new job that’s entirely out of the industry where coke is so rife.
It’s been the hardest thing we’ve ever gone through, but it is possible for addicts to recover and for life to be better, but they have to WANT IT. Coke was ruining my DH’s life. He hated it, hated that he couldn’t get off it, hated how it eventually started making him feel, hated how much it was impacting me as his wife and also wanted to ensure it never affected our child.
He has put a lot of work in and is in such a better place, but like I said, he has to want it otherwise it’s futile.
My child absolutely adores their dad. For me, I of course had to ensure that no matter what, they would always be in a safe environment. But I also know that having their dad not be as present in their life or having our family fall apart is something our DC would have suffered greatly from too, so I was absolutely determined that DH would get better - and luckily he was determined to get better too.
Not all coke users are losers or scum. My DH is kind, selfless and gentle. He would never intentionally hurt someone and like mentioned, he never even drank much or went on nights out. He just stupidly agreed to try coke during a stressful working day and that was it for him.
If your DP wants to get better, it has to be for himself, it can never be for just you or your child as that won’t work. He has to really want it for him. If he isn’t at that place, then I would recommend getting yourself and child away until a time comes where he is ready to get off coke for good - and be aware that time may never actually come.
My thoughts are with you, I know how much of a horrible place this can be.