To want a 3rd child?

[broodybaby85]

I turn 39 this year. I have 2 children already with a large age gap (eldest turns 18 this year and youngest is almost 3). Been with my partner for almost 19 years (he's not the eldest's father).

I know my age will go against me, but I cannot shake the feeling that I want to do it "one last time". However, I also know that with 2 children already and the age gap, there are many cons to adding another.

Please Mumsnet, talk me out of this and help me to just be happy with the two beautiful children I have and get over with my longing for a third?? 😭

Maybe I need to see some of those cons in black and white?! 😂

Had my 3rd child at just turned 40. Best thing ever, she is loved so much by her older sister and brother. Do it!

I’m a little younger, had my 3rd at 36.

she literally almost killed me 🙈 placenta percreta and all that jazz.

id do it over and over again though, 3 kids is definitely much harder but honestly the best decision we ever made.

You will already be in your 50s by the time your 2nd kid grows up and you;d be pushing that back almost another 5 years, possible into your 60s before the 3rd one leaves home.

Call time on procreation and think about yourself.

How you feel from 50-55 is nothing like any other age, not even like 45-50. I'm not old or unfit but I know I'm getting older and I wouldn't want to have another 10 years of kids.

What does your partner feel about another child? Have you discussed it with him. Lots to think about so maybe work out all the pros and cons. If you are happy as you are how will the dynamic change, how would your eldest daughter feel. At the moment you say she has a close bond with her young sibling, this may change if there is another much closer in age to your youngest. If you are happy as you are, maybe accept that and enjoy it without the what ifs!

Maybe nothing to do with judgement OR religion? It wasn't an option for me, either, when I accidentally fell pregnant with #3 - 9 years after #2, but simply that I thought it might be painful!! Yes I'm a wuss. I had just returned to work "seriously" and was on a rather expensive (work paid) course when I found out - so I hid the pregnancy as best I could for 6 months. Just the way I felt...and DD3 is the best accident I ever had, as it turns out.

You're not too old. I'm planning on having my 3rd in my mid 40's (previously created IVF embryos).

I had my 2nd at 42yo

Go for it!

Another vote to go for it! ❤️

I think maybe this is more your oldest is ready to fly the nest and your starting with the feelings concerned with that. You want to fill that void without realising, let me tell you they still need you when they go. They just need you in a different way. My eldest is 30 now and youngest 17.
Your current little one starts school soon, childcare, nurseries etc costs are spiralling. Would you want all that hassle again now you have hit the school stage. At 39 having a new baby you would be hitting 60 by time they finish education. If they decide on uni etc is yours and your partners health in a place that after 60 plus you could still support a child through uni. The saddest part if they choose to have kids later on in life you may never get to meet your grandchildren. You could be in your 70s when they marry and start life. Surely that's the point where you and your partner should be retiring together holidaying etc. It may only be a 4/5 year gap but those few years make a huge difference.

I am 40 with 4 kids, 17, 10, 8 and 3 months! I’ve had gaps, close together, babies and teens. There are pros and cons to each way of doing it. But if you want another, and you have been feeling that way for a while I say go for it. I don’t regret a thing and love the variety x

I had my one and only at 41.
He keeps me young, I wouldn't change a thing.
Go for it, you only live once!