Letting 14 y/o dd go to central London with a friend.....

[wanttokickoffbutcant]

DD recently turned 14. Has been into central London many times with me but never with a friend. I am torn as to whether I should allow her. On the one hand, I was travelling from Cornwall to London on my own at a younger age but I am just think it is a very different place now (I am old). She thinks I am horrible and being ridiculous not to trust her but she is also not very street smart.......

I really wouldn't take the risk tbh, London can be dangerous for adults.

Of course it's okay to let her go with a friend. She's 14 not 4.

I have a 16yo DD, I would (and did) let her do this 2 years ago.

Is their a plan at least... what are they wanting to do?

She won’t have a chance to become street smart unless you let her out by herself. Central London is perfectly fine for a 14 y/o

Where do you live? Where does she want to go? Do you trust the friend? Do they have a card for spends as it’s becoming more cashless. Will they promise to carry their phone and money in front of them in a small zipped bag? Have they got a phone charger and a external phone battery?

if anything, I think it’s easier to travel now, for kids, as they’ve got phones.

What a ridiculous comment. London is as safe as any city. What do you think the 14 year old girls that actually live here do, stay inside at all times. Jesus Christ.

I lived in London for many (many) decades and I’m not sure it’s more dangerous for adults than any other place?

Tell them to ignore the beggars, look away. You can’t learn the London no eye contact early enough.

Most parts of London seem at lot quieter than they used to be when I was 14.

My DD started taking trips into Edinburgh (1 hour train ride) at 14. She and her pals were very sensible. I'd say it helped her develop confidence in her abilities to manage tasks independently. You'll know your DD best, some ready at 14, some need more time.

Are you near London?
If she is talking about a daytime trip for shopping etc probably fine.
I think I was around that age when we slipped out of a school museum trip to go to top shop instead ( obviously bad safeguarding from our school).
If you are expecting her to go off to uni at 18 and survive it's probably not a terrible idea to let her do London as a trip.
But not at night! ( I say that as someone who went to uni and lived in London throughout my 20's) she would be very vulnerable if she was planning on going near clubs, bars etc.

Can confirm that all the adults that live in London only ever leave the house when surrounded by security guards

Really? 🤔

There’s a heavily armed kitten outside my London flat at the moment.

I have a 14-year-old and she does this regularly 🤷‍♀️

Lots and lots of teenagers travel around london, its a great place for teens to visit

How far from Central London do you live? Is it day or night? During the day and a reasonable journey that the teen knows (train changes etc) it would be fine. At night to go clubbing, no chance.

Does she know how to travel by tube or bus ? (Lots of 14 year olds don’t )

Once mine knew how to do that, I let them do the trip with friends. The comment about London being dangerous for adults is ridiculous. There’s danger everywhere but you can’t stop living.

If she’s used to London I’d say absolutely fine. DS (14) went off with some friends to watch an athletics thing last year in central London and was fine, but we live in London so he’s familiar with everything. As a PP says though, make sure she has a fully charged battery pack.

I grew up in London, and still live here. Loved it as a teenager and still do. My eldest is now 13 and has a lot of freedom to travel round - he knows which areas to avoid.

Central London - whereabouts? It's mostly busy, she'll be fine. I'd be more worried about some of the quieter areas further out (just a few areas, not everywhere!).

Please don't wrap her in cotton wool.

Thanks for the responses - we actually don't live too far out of central London but no tubes here. She has a phone and a Revolut card that I can top up instantly if needed. She has had a lot of independence from a younger age than a lot of her friends - ie, she walked home from school from Y5 and had a key from Y6 and was left alone for short periods. She is allowed out locally til her 7.30 curfew and we live very close to a big town. It is just the tube that worries me and all the protests etc centrally as I don't think she would know what to do.

Think I am just going to bite the bullet and sit and bite my nails til she gets home.

I am honestly not a really not an over - protective mother but she can be very anxious and I don't fancy traipsing up to town to rescue her.......

Not really the point but 7.30 curfew for out locally doesnt seem a lot of independence. Why so early?

Just speak to her about what to do if one of them gets their phone nicked. i.e. let it go, don’t chase after it and maybe get both girls to put a parent contact in the others phone, so if one does get nicked, the other can still contact both parents.

Could you go in with them to zone 1 maybe and then give them a few hours on their own, meet them at an agreed location and then travel back with them. My dd is 13 and this is what I do in our local city? Might be a good compromise? Would save them having to tube it on their own as shops, places to eat are all walkable in zone 1?

Sounds fine to me. My best friend and I used to travel around London alone at that age.

I've lived in London my whole life and never actually seen a protest. Presuming she wants to do Covent Garden/Oxford Street type things or head to a museum/gallery, she's very unlikely to come anywhere near one.