Letting 14 y/o dd go to central London with a friend.....

[wanttokickoffbutcant]

DD recently turned 14. Has been into central London many times with me but never with a friend. I am torn as to whether I should allow her. On the one hand, I was travelling from Cornwall to London on my own at a younger age but I am just think it is a very different place now (I am old). She thinks I am horrible and being ridiculous not to trust her but she is also not very street smart.......

This is so true.

Nothing will change between 14 and 18 unless you give them a bit of independence. They need life skills before you unleash them out in to the world at 18.

1.5 million people live in Central London.
There are numerous social housing developments, flats, houses. Primary schools in Soho and Covent Garden. Secondary schools, private and state.

Normal happy families, adults working, nipping to the Tesco Express.

Amongst thousands of international visitors some of whom speak minimal English but get around on the tube, often assisted by helpful Londoners.

I am baffled by the view that London is a place that cannot be visited by able-bodied NT adults without fear and trepidation.

I found the area around the British Museum quite nice but I felt uneasy around Euston Road area.

@NYC2018 You felt. Typical Mumsnet, all feeling and no thinking.

What sentence is more appropriate to describe my perception of the area? That I 'thought' it was unsafe? We can go with that if you prefer.

Get your child to turn on their phone tracker. Top up their debit card. Download citymapper. Off they trott.

I love the comments from the anxious mums worried about how on earth their children would navigate the tube / public transport without them there to hold their hand 😂I hate to break it to you all but teens are FAR more savvy and advanced than any of us in terms of finding out how to do something. If I went home and said to my DSD (12) "can you find out how you would travel from X to X in London?" she would have the fastest, cheapest route possible on her phone in about 30 seconds flat. I would still be looking at a tube map when she had already bought the tickets, downloaded them to her phone and planned a million other things too.

Tbh if my 14 year old didn't know how to google "London bus tickets" and do a bit of basic research before doing a big trip to London (or any decent sized city)I'd be ashamed of myself. It's one of the basics you do before you go anywhere, right? You work out what you need to do to get around, whether you're going to need change for the exact fare only bus, or buy a ticket from a machine, or just tap on.

My 12yo asks me now stuff like which bus stop in the next suburb over is the one that the bus home stops at, and I both tell him and show him how to find it out on google maps so that he can work it out for himself next time. I'm not ready for him to do central London solo yet, but I imagine by the time he's 14 he'll be fine with a friend, and he'll have the skills he needs to figure out anything unexpected or unclear.

Is this a wind-up?

@JassyRadlett Why would it be a wind up? I'm saying what areas I felt ok in and what I didn't in response to someone else's post 🤔

I thought you must have been on the wind up the whole time and pushed it too far... it's literally a ten minute walk between the British Museum and Euston Rd. They're not different areas.

@JassyRadlett from what I observed they were very different areas in terms of surroundings and the general vibe. I didn't feel comfortable in one but not too bad in the other.

Euston Road isn't dodgy. King's Cross used to be but is now very cleaned up except for a couple of doorways on the south side. Areas to avoid late at night? I can't think of anywhere centrally that I i or a 14 year old would go to.

It's 'predictably grim main arterial road' and 'nice area behind the main road'. But yeah, objectively, a grimy and overpolluted main road is more unsafe than a nice leafy green square, just not in the ways you're suggesting...

Like I say, this thread is an eye opener.

@JassyRadlett Each to their own as they say. We are bound to all feel differently about places and perceive them in different ways.

Oh so people are terrified to attend because of pollution. That actually makes more sense. I'm on my way there now to the Standard hotel for dinner - one of the coolest in London. Of course I could pop into the Booking Office in St Pancras for a drink or the Fellow pub on York Way for a snifter. All super nice. Right on the main road. Scarey!

What does she want to do? If her and a friend are coming in to go to a couple of specific shops at 11am then home, I would be slightly less worried than if she was thinking of something more vague later in the day.

I have several friends whose mid-teens children have been mugged for their phones in broad daylight in 'naice' parts of central London.

Oxford Street is full of pickpockets, oddballs, and phone snatchers on bikes. I'd worry that a naive 14yo would be a vulnerable target.

Yep, for sure. And we should be prepared to have those perceptions challenged, subjective as they are.

I'll hold firm to the objective reality that the British Museum and Euston Rd aren't in different areas of London. I wouldn't while away a pleasant afternoon on Euston Rd, sure. But I wouldn't be threading my keys between my knuckles, either.

@JassyRadlett Challenge away but it won't change my view on it just as I likely won't change yours.

We can all have different views. But clearly some people’s perception of risk is way off, if, as an adult, you are scared to go in to London..

That’s not just having a different opinion that is held by many. It’s very rare for an adult to be scared to go in to a city in England.

@Delatron Not sure if I used the word 'scared' but I would definitely feel uneasy in some places. I think it would be naive to think it's perfectly safe and that precautions shouldn't be taken.

What's the point going somewhere you don't feel comfortable going? Would be a waste of money for one and a waste of time.

I have never felt unsafe in London particularly- because there’s always people around, it’s generally well lit and there’s usually always something open, such as a shop. I’d feel more apprehensive in a suburb or countryside when it’s dark and no-one’s around.

We are talking about going in to central London on the tube in the daylight. Not walking through the streets of Harlesden at midnight. It’s a bit more nuanced than you are making out. (I’ve lived in Harlesden so I’m allowed to say that). Precautions for each area at different times would vary massively.

If you don’t feel comfortable going shopping in central London in the daytime then that’s your perogative. But it is very unusual.

You felt uneasy around Euston Road? 😂I mean, it's pretty busy, I would recommend only crossing at the lights…

Maybe you got bad vibes from walking past 3 of London's universities? Or perhaps from the large convent school just nearby? Or from walking through the notoriously dodgy Russell Square?

If you don't want to go to London @NYC2018, that's fine, don't go. As you quite rightly say, it's pointless going somewhere you don't feel comfortable. But please, spare us the nonsense about central London being a hotbed of random violence because, objectively speaking, it isn't true.

@thing47 If you think London is safe then crack on.

OP asked for opinions and mine is that no, I wouldn't allow a 14 year old who isn't street smart to go there. Not really sure why I have to justify that opinion.