Letting 14 y/o dd go to central London with a friend.....

[wanttokickoffbutcant]

DD recently turned 14. Has been into central London many times with me but never with a friend. I am torn as to whether I should allow her. On the one hand, I was travelling from Cornwall to London on my own at a younger age but I am just think it is a very different place now (I am old). She thinks I am horrible and being ridiculous not to trust her but she is also not very street smart.......

Fair, the tube would be a fucking nightmare.

Is this a joke?

Seriously - this is how kids learn. Better with one mate than with a huge group where one gets left behind/the group dynamics get silly, etc.

Jacket with zip up pockets, phone in one pocket, cards/money in a different one. This is the age when you can drum good habits into and they'll be grateful enough that you're letting them go that they might even listen.

Some posters seem to have very strange ideas about London. Can’t believe there are adults posting that they wouldn’t come alone. Why on earth not? London’s just a city (albeit a pretty big one) full of people going about their day to day business. It’s like any other city in this country - just bigger. Surely the worst that can happen if she’s up for the day is she gets a bit lost.

We live in London so my daughters have grown up in London. They started going into central London at about 14. During the day and coming home early evening. I don’t know what dreadful things some posters are seeing on the tube. Unless you’re travelling late at night, they’re full of people and therefore extremely safe and I’ve travelled on the tube for decades including late at night and it’s never been a problem.

I live in London but I do think 14 is a bit young. Up to you tho!

Of course I realise.

But as I said, no special skills required, not really. It’s just a city, populated with the same species, the vast majority of whom are friendly and helpful , and as I said, you need to engage common sense everywhere you go, big cities and tiny villages.

We're a 30 min train ride from Euston and mine wouldn't be doing this (age 13 and 15) both have sensory issues and trouble with executive function that would affect their ability to negotiate London.

Even without that I doubt I'd bother wanting to spend the ££££ on train tickets and all the hassle involved when there's a perfectly functional city centre right here that they manage to negotiate.

Do you mean catching the train in with a mate, going shopping Oxford street / Covent Garden / Camden, having some lunch and then a bit more shopping or the cinema and home for 7pm type of thing?

In which case that’s a very safe scenario

They both have phones and can check in periodically, and you just agree a plan if they were both to loose their phones and money, which they won’t - give them the return fair in cash in a money belt if it makes you feel better.

It depends where you go though. I’m a wee bit younger than you with teen kids.

Central london and popular teen hangout areas like Camden are an awful lot more sanitised than in the 90s.

Knife and gun crime is a massive problem of course, but in concentrated areas and usually (sadly and unfairly)impacting on specific communities.

Unless your daughter lives somewhere with a lot of problems and has somehow got caught up with people involved in that, I don’t know why you’d worry about her being in London?

I don’t quite understand what you are worried about. I’d rather my kids go to busy, touristy places with transport staff on hand to help them get around. Teens get into the most trouble hanging around at night in residential areas and parks, not central London in the day time.

I'm fine letting my DS 15 travel to cities near where we live.

I guess if I lived in the south east I'd be fine with London.

My 18 year old goes regularly - 50 mins train journey - I think he was 16 before he went solo. He’s on a BFI Southbank young persons council, so an underground journey Kings Cross to Waterloo. He started this at 15, I used to go with him initially and meet up for the journey back in the early months

My 15 yr old has been doing this for about a year. If she wants to do it that's the first hurdle.

Citimapper on her phone will tell her exactly how to get around. Life 360 or similar on both of yours will mean you know where she is. If in trouble find a policeman or a woman with small kids.

It's nerve wracking the first few times but you have to do it at some point.

Op it depends on on her, my own dd are so different! One is alert and streetwise and knows to make sure nothing is hanging on escalators like shoe laces and jeans, the other one!! No!

My 15 year old son just went in with two friends. They were driven in but he certainly doesn’t know London as we live over an hour Away by train. It was fine, but I know one of his friends was mugged last year while visiting.

I’d be nervous of letting my 14 year old DS go to London with friends. We live rurally, near a small town. Obviously he’s been going out in the village and the small town with friends. I’d be ok with him going out in the nearest city too, as he’s been there loads of times and knows his way around. But he’s not familiar with London, having only visited a few times. He and his friends would have “tourist” written all over them. They’d be distracted, they’d lark about, they’d be confused by the tube map, and of course they’d be waving their phones around - none of which are good ideas in a big city. I’d be worried they’d get mugged.

My god, we're comparing London with other parts of the same country. We're not comparing Beirut with Hertfordshire.

@TheFormidableMrsC I think you and I may have grown up in the same area!! Top of the Northern Line?

TBH I think girls in London are pretty safe from mugging ( touches wood). It’s not the done thing to mug females. I’m sure there is less honour among thieves in the general picket pocket community!

I would as DD has to get the train every day anyway and is used to the travel aspect. I remember going to London in the 90's with a friend and we were fine. There are more security cameras in London than anywhere else. I think kids are more likely to get into trouble thinking they are safe somewhere they know and might relax their guard.

Friends of ours moved from London to a provincial town as they thought it would be safer. Within a year their daughter was skiving school and hanging around shopping centre car parks vaping (having got there on a stolen scooter).
They wish they’d stayed in London.

London benefits from the fact most people are not driving everywhere. The streets are teaming with ordinary people (who aren’t squirrelled away in their cars or in gigantic houses in suburbs). And teens using the tube for the first time won’t stand out as there are masses of tourists.

I grew up a short bus ride from some central line stations. From quite an early age we would tell our parents we were going to nearby local towns but wpuld hop on the tube and go into central London, Oxford circus, Camden, Tottenham Court Road etc. Can't recall ever experiencing anything bad. Obv you come across the odd weirdo but that's about it.

Most Londoners in Central London will ignore the larking about and point people in the right direction when they look lost. We’re actually quite nice people.

I’d let her go OP, back on the train home about 7ish. She’ll have a lovely time.

If the plan is to do Covent Garden/ Oxford Street type trip then they will be fine - just remind them to not have their bags swinging open with phones/wallets accessible.

if you are a bit anxious then could you go with them on the train and be in London at the same time but let them to do their own thing for the day? You can then meet them to travel home?