Letting 14 y/o dd go to central London with a friend.....

[wanttokickoffbutcant]

DD recently turned 14. Has been into central London many times with me but never with a friend. I am torn as to whether I should allow her. On the one hand, I was travelling from Cornwall to London on my own at a younger age but I am just think it is a very different place now (I am old). She thinks I am horrible and being ridiculous not to trust her but she is also not very street smart.......

I was born and grew up in North London, Herts border. I used to go into Central London on the train/tube from about 13. However, I'm now 54. Life was very different then. I've got a 12 yo. No way would he be doing this. I have a 26 year old who lives in London and I worry every day about her safety. I'd be very wary now. Even travelling with my young son I've encountered some horrible situations. I'm all for kids being capable and independent but it's a different world from my childhood and I'd leave it a bit personally.

You are being absurd. How do you think the teenagers who live in London lead their lives? They're not all in limousines and gated estates you know.

14 is just a bit young for me, I started going with friends just before I turned 16, but my friends were 16-18.

Could you ease yourselves into the new freedom? Maybe she goes early and you meet her for dinner in the evening and then go home together? That way she's had a couple of hours to do her thing and you can have some fun together.

Living in London and visiting London are two very different scenarios for a teenager. The latter almost definitely will not be as street wise

I let DS do this from 14. He was fine and it’s good for them to practice travelling on transport alone, working out where they are etc. it also gave him a good opportunity to show me that I could trust him- that he would keep in touch and be back when he said he would. (He was).

i think I told him to be back by 6ish though! More because we were going out and I wanted him home. Plus I was happier with him wandering around the shops in the daytime rather than be there in the dark.

14 year olds who live in London will be doing this all the time!

Personally I think 16 is too old - I was travelling abroad alone at 17. I needed a good few years to build up independence and become more street smart.

It’s fine.

They even let teenagers live here.

Life360 (or similar) is a wonderful thing. I went at 14 in the late 80s and my Mum had no idea where I was (other than in London!) Thank goodness for technology!

My 12 year old travels on her own around London to meet friends and commute to school etc. has to be home by curfew and if possible I take her to the meeting point to find the friends. But she is fine in zone 1&2 with the friends.

I let my 13 year old go to central London with friends. The first couple of times they just went in to our nearest bit and hung out there, but now they go to Brick Lane and rummage though vintage shops/to Soho and get noodles/to Oxford St and play games in the Microsoft store. They have a great time. I wouldn’t let him be in town alone after dark, but tbh he doesn’t go any further than Scouts etc after dark and not on his own anyway.

Not really, unless you think all teenagers live in central London. I know teenagers who live in very village-like Brockley and Barnes and yet they survived “visiting” London from a young age.

I wouldn’t go on my own/with only one friend, particularly as a female and I’m an adult…

Living in London and visiting London do not require specialist skills and training.
It’s just a city like every other, where people live, work, visit,

Common sense and the ability to read a tube map and signs are all that are required.

Don’t leave your purse or phone sticking out of your bag on the back of a cafe chair in either Camden, Covent Garden or Crinklybottom-on-Sea.

Why not?

Yes we all have personal security guards here in London & definitely don't leave the house under 18

You do realise that not all kids come from big cities? We live in Belfast, a capital city. At 14 of course DD and her friends were happily commuting to/from school in the city centre and going shopping etc. It is very different to London and I am certain I (and most likely even DD) wouldn’t have felt comfortable for her to be alone there at that age.

A female what?

Plenty of kids in London take public transport to school every day, starting from age 11. Can confirm my 11yo is from a very over protective home! But survives perfectly well.
She'll be fine OP, not that that is going to stop you fretting ☺️

Giraffe

The girls will need to know how to use Oyster cards and the Tube map - basically that the lines are colour coded and the 'map' is a diagram. They can use the TFL Go app to plan journeys, they just need to understand what it is they're doing 🙂 You can cover all this ahead of time if you're worried.

It doesn't sound like they've spent their entire lives in a remote village, so won't be dumb about minding their belongings, etc. Commonsense advice about keeping phone & bank card separate, not moseying along with your nose in your phone (ie, keep eyes up) and keeping hand on bag is in order.

I did my first such trip at 15, from the West Midlands. Things are even safer & easier now, what with phones and money transfers, etc.

They'll have a blast! You will be a bit nervous, but hugely proud when they're back home, full of adventure.

Just wouldn’t

Good grief. You wouldn't go to London unless you were chaperoned by at least two people? Why on earth not?

Oh I like the way so swung that 😂 Chaperoned… yes I’m quite the important cupcake don’t you know 🤓

@niadainud 😂

I would. If she's and her friend are travelling together, public transport takes them to where they want to hang out, and then they get the train back together. As long as they aren't heading down dodgy back alleys with strange people, I fail to see what 'danger' they would inherently be in.