To feel like oldest mum?

[thesoundofmusicals]

I have a son in year 1 who's almost 6 and I'm 40 I feel ancient at the school pick up when they're all still in their 30s

Anyone else can relate?

In September I'll be worse as I'll have another son of age 4 in reception and me still being 40 and old.

I had ds at 43!! He is now 9. Never occurred to me to be bothered. He is a much loved bonus boy! I have an older dd and some of the dm's at the gate are her age!! So what??

Where I am it’s very normal for someone to be in their 40s with a child in KS1 or Reception.

I'm 39 and my youngest is only 2 and my eldest 8. I don't feel old at the school pick up!

I was 44 when my DD started in reception. Maybe our school is unusual but the majority of the parents are very late 30s or in their 40s.

You are being ridiculous!!!
Who cares.
I had ds at 40. Total non issue.

You're not serious are you?

You had a DC at 34 & 36, and you feel old? They are completely normal ages for women to have children.

Additionally it's very normal now for women to have their first DC aged 40 or more, meaning they'll be 44 - 45 when they are first at the school gates. That's probably older than average but not 'old'.

What's making you feel old at 40? In my experience being a bit older with younger DC is actually a way of staying younger, as you're at an earlier stage of life, still.

Had my only at 43, we were so happy to succeed at becoming parents that I was often quite pleased to be the oldest at school dropoff. By the time they get to sixth form the age gap twixt parents in their 50s and those of us in our early 60s feels smaller

I can’t relate. I’m 40 with a 6 year old and that’s bang average on our school pick up, there are loads of parents older than me.

Definitely can't relate. In my circle it's normal to be having your first at or around 40.

Where I live, parents of reception aged children are very rarely in their early 30's more likely in their late 30's or 40's.

I was 41 when DD started Reception - I felt about average age for the group (though didn't give it too much thought).

I know this isn't your experience, but please know that your experience isn't the only experience, there are plenty of parents of KS1 kids in their 40's (in fact, I know a couple on their 50's!).

This is weird. The older you are and get pregnant, the more you have to be proud of. Your older body conceived a baby

Almost 6 and you are 40? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Try having one at 40 lol
No-one bats an eyelid. Most of my friends and social circle are much younger than me.

What it is that makes you feel old OP?

How do you know they're in their 30's? I recently found out I'm one of the youngest at the school gates- I assumed we were all the same age and it turns out one of my closest friends is 4 years older. And then my second started and I assumed a few were younger and I've just found out they're older. So it's hard to know.

I was 28 when DS was in reception I was the youngest by far mid to late thirties and early forties was normal.

I’m 42 with a five year old. Don’t feel
old at all. Complete non-issue.

I was 30 when I had my eldest dd and am one of the youngest mums in her year, I’m average / maybe a couple of years above average with my youngest who I had when I was 36. I guess it depends on where you live / the school. You’d be more unusual being a young mum at ours.

Where do you live? In my home town most had their kids in their 20s, but im
in London and it’s a different story. DC1 is almost 6 in year 1 and I’m 37 and the youngest of all his friends’ parents. Lots turning 40 this year and older.

You couldn’t tell to look at us mind you - most of them look younger than me!

That would be completely normal where I am - I was 41 when DD started Reception last year, which was pretty much average for our cohort, and lots of the mums have younger preschoolers coming through too.

DD is 6 years older than me and was worried that he’d be the oldest dad, but there are several who are well into their 50s, so not even an issue for him. I’d be more worried being young tbh.

When mine are 6, I will be 50/51. I don't think anybody knows or cares how old I am.

It's a pretty normal age these days.

I work in an area of high deprivation, for a charity, and most of the women have multiple children by the age of 25. It's not judgemental, it's just fact. At those school gates, at 30 you would feel ancient. I had a woman with 6 children I was helping last week, and she was 34. Her eldest two were teens and had left home. She was telling me how gross her sister was for having a baby at 32, "who has kids that old??"

In contrast, eldest DS went to private school. I was 26 when I had him. I was the youngest mother there by a long way. Most were at least a decade senior to me.

I'm now 41 and DTwins are 4. They go to a nursery in the deprived area as it is next door to my place of work. I look like a grandmother next to all the 23yos bringing in their youngest two and taking their third off to primary.

The socioeconomic circumstance you are in makes a difference to the age of the mothers.

Hopefully DTwins will be going to a private school, and I'll be back to normal aged mum as opposed to old lady grandma at their nursery

I had mine at 36 and 39. There were quite a few other mums of a similar age in my children's classes. My NCT class for my first only had one mum younger than me. I think it's much more common now.

Never gave a stuff. Had both mine over 40. And DP was a chunk older. Just comes down to attitude.

I was in my late 20s/early 30s when mine started school. I remember DS coming home in year 1 saying he'd been talking to his friends about how old their parents were and that I was the youngest. I hadn't even noticed! I'm sure some of them are older than you think

I can relate - we live in an area where having kids young is common - but you have to get over it and remind yourself it doesn't matter. It might be more unusual, but it's not weird.

I was standing in the infant school playground when my year 2 daughter announced to everyone it was my birthday and I was half a hundred ! 🤣
Couldn't fault her maths.
Honestly, OP it truly doesn't matter what age you are