To feel like oldest mum?

[thesoundofmusicals]

I have a son in year 1 who's almost 6 and I'm 40 I feel ancient at the school pick up when they're all still in their 30s

Anyone else can relate?

In September I'll be worse as I'll have another son of age 4 in reception and me still being 40 and old.

You have my sympathy OP some days I struggle with this thought however it's okay, it's your lovely family and your beautiful DC don't care or love you less for your age. Enjoy their childhood.

So you had a child at what is considered a "normal" age by most people on here? What kind of replies are you expecting to get? You're only 5 years older than them?

Yeah you go op, you're so much better than those younger ones🙄

Sounds a normal age to me. My friends are in their 40s with little ones in reception. I’m 37 and my youngest is in year 3. I haven’t batted an eyelid at their age- it’s not much older than me and we’re really good friends.

my sister has the opposite problem. She’s 28 with a 10 year old. She’s snubbed by most of the mums in her child’s class. She’s a bit more accepted by the parents of her middle child’s class (year 1) and is really hoping that by the time the baby is school age she’ll be totally accepted because she’ll be in her 30s. It’s ridiculous!

😳When I was 40, my kids were 18 and 15.

My dad was 40 when I was born, though

Everyone in my NCT was over 40 and they were having their first. This is very common where I live in London.

Seems a totally normal age to me 🤷🏻‍♀️. I had dc1 at 32 and dc2 at 41. I don’t feel particularly old or especially different for either of them.

Totally normal at our local school. I was 40 when my eldest started reception and 42 when DD started. I wasn't the oldest mum by a long way. Most of the mums were between 35 and 45 I'd say. My sister was 47 when her DD started school.

I was roughly the same age as you when my DC were that age. It never occurred to me that I might seem/look old, because the age I feel in my head is much younger than what I actually am! I often speak to people in their late 20s and forget I’m not the same age as them anymore! I do think you are as old as you feel. Also if you really look around the school yard you will realise there is no average aged parent anymore.

What's wrong with being older?
My friends range from 28 to 62. It's only really when there some cultural reference that no one gets that age differences are noticed.

It’s where you live isn’t it, myself and only one other Mother were 40 plus at school drop off, we were known as the Grandmas. I live in an area that has gentrified a little in the last few years but has huge pockets of deprivation, an ex industrial town up North. Many women your age would actually be Grandmas by now. Myself and other Grandma became very good friends and our children are young adults now. I’m also still good friends with two of the other Mums who were about 23. I need to add I am a Southerner and my accent was met with suspicion. It’s like being an exotic animal. I still get lots of ooh you are so posh comments.

DH and I chose here because it was relatively equidistant between the two universities we work/worked in.

My actual long term friends from University had children late thirties early forties.

I worked in a social science dept, not real science according to Bunsen burner look at my impressive microscope away with ye to your books DH. I actually did a study as an undergraduate on educational attainment and social class. It’s all pretty basic social science malarkey.

🤣

Bingo.

I was 41 and 43 when mine started school. Some of the mums were younger, some were same age. Never given it much thought. You're hardly an outlier.

I really think it depends what’s your ‘norm’ in the area you’re in. If you’re an ‘older mum’ and all of the mum’s in the school playground are super young, then you’ll feel the difference.

I remember going to a baby group and literally ALL the mums were in their early/mid 40s with a newborn. I was the only 22 year old there LOL. It felt very strange so I can see what you mean from that aspect

I'm 39 with a 2.5yo, and also a 6yo and an almost 9yo. Loads of my friends around my age had babies around the same time I had my youngest. Lots of women are choosing to have children later in life, my own mum had me when she was 36 too, and she's a very fit and spritely 75 year old now!

Meh.
I had my only at 42. School gate had mums from early 20s into mid 30s.
There were a couple of older mums I discovered as we progressed through school.
Very few of the mums were in any way bothered about how old anyone else was.
Nobody ever commented on the age of the dads.

Children are exhausting, whatever age you are.

I am 48 with an eight year old and a four year and I cannot relate, I do not feel old.

There are lots of Mum's at school pick up who look the same age as me and lots of Grandparents. Nobody cares how old anyone is.

It's all in your head and an issue you need to deal with.

Well my son is the same age as yours, also in Year One, and I'm 46! DD doesn't even start school until next year.
I can think of far worse things to worry about.

Agree. Don't make a thing of something that doesn't need to be a thing.

My eldest hasn't even started school yet and I'm older than OP. 😂

Who cares

I'll be 43 in April and my youngest is starting reception this year (I have one other child who is currently in Year 7). I have friends the same age as me who have two children in the same age groups as my two. It's not unusual any more.

What? My son has only just started reception last Sep and I'm 41! Do I care? No

And also, 40 isn't "old" 😕

I had my only child when I was 39. Quite a few of the other school parents were round about the same age and this was 30 years ago - I don't understand the angst!

You're not old at all its a normal age to have a baby or start a family.
Everyones life is different and pans out differently.
Maybe your just feeling a bit down today.

Im 37 and my baby is 19 and moving out in a few weeks😥.
I loved being a mum still am a mum but i dont do parenting anymore.
A new chapter is beginning for me.