To feel like oldest mum?

[thesoundofmusicals]

I have a son in year 1 who's almost 6 and I'm 40 I feel ancient at the school pick up when they're all still in their 30s

Anyone else can relate?

In September I'll be worse as I'll have another son of age 4 in reception and me still being 40 and old.

this is basically me,I dont feel that old

I was 34 when I had my son and was the youngest in the NCT group by 5 years. We’re not quite at school drop offs yet but I expect 40 with a 6 year old is the young ish end around here!

I had dd at 40 and I don't feel old or stand out as old either. I do think there's lots of older mums in my area

I think I'm the oldest mum in my son's class, but I don't feel old at all so it doesn't bother me. I'm older than you but I happily chat to other parents in their 20s and 30s. Doesn't make any difference at all.

40 when my daughter started reception. Totally average. Some older mothers, some slightly younger. The ‘odd one out’ in the playground was the 26-year-old (not a judgement, just an observation).

In my area a lot of women are grandmas in their mid-late 30s, so yes most people would assume you were the grandma in the playground.

Surely that's better than being a Reception parent while still in your late teens though? A girl on our street has just had her first baby a couple of months after her 15th birthday, so she won't even be 20 when the baby starts school, and I doubt she will be the only parent that young!

I was nearly 50 when DD started school, there were a whole range of parents there, one dad was in his 60s, another mum in her 20s, no one gave it a moments thought from what I remember.

It's the area. There was only 1 set of parents I can recall in DS1s year who were into their 30s when he started reception.

My DC will be 18 and 16 when I'm 40.

Half an hour up the road and 40 is probably the norm. Why does it matter?

Is this a goady fucker thread? Or are 13 and think having a baby at 36 is like oh-my-god, so, like, OOOlllddd!!!

I said this on another thread - DD is 12 and her peers' mums range from in their 20 to in their 50s.

No. One. Cares.

when ds1 started school I was 29 and was unceremoniously told that the pta can’t be doing with parents who aren’t in their 40’s. She was a bitch obviously but beyond that the age range of parents would be impossible to guess. And yes there were some grandparents picking up who were younger than the parents but that would only come up when chatting about birthdays etc. I’m still not 40 but don’t think it makes hee haw difference at parents night.

Have you read any of the replies?

What on earth are you talking about? I'm 39 with a 7 and 5 year old.

My friend is 42 and has just given birth. Not sure what planet you're living on thinking you are on "old" mum?

I'm 47 and my daughter starts primary school in September. I don't give a flying fig how old other parents are.

I do kind of get what you mean OP. I'm 50 this year with a 9 and 12 year old. It doesn't bother me now but when my youngest dd started school I was aware that out of all the parents on the playground there was prob only a couple of us " over 40" the rest all seemed twenties , early 30s. I didn't experience that when my eldest started school as most of the parents were around or similar to my age. I just felt I stood out more but that was all in my head as noone cared about ages at all. One of the mums I ended up talking to the most is 20 years younger than me. I just needed to get over my own insecurities about it as really nobody cares.

Get yourself to London, all the parents are 'old' by your measure

Opposite for me. Had DC not long after my 18th birthday. The next youngest parent at school was 4 years older than me and most others in their 30s.

I’d say nearly all the parents in dc’s year 1 class are in their 40’s.

I had my kids at 40 and 43 and that wasn't unusual at their school. Some mums were even older.

Is it not possible to reassure op without brining in a poor 15yo? Bit pathetic to have to compare yourself to a literal 14/15 yo child to feel better about yourself.

Not forgetting the fact that not all girls who give birth at that age have had a great time in life.

Anyway, literally nobody cares if you have a school age child at 40 op, of all the things to be insecure about. If everyone's younger, try making an effort. It's not your age that's holding you back.

I’m 51 with an 11 year old, and nowhere near the oldest mother in DS’s class (very economically and ethnically mixed city centre school). When I had DS (turned 40 a few months after he was born), there were three mothers older than me in our NCT group of 7. When we lived in a very homogenous village in the Midlands, the other mothers of DS’s class were far younger, and also all SAHMs — only me and one other mother worked, and she was the next oldest.

Its very dependent on context — broadly, the more educated and affluent a woman is, the more likely she is to have later and/or fewer children.

My friend is 44 with a 24 year old daughter with a 4 year old. It takes all sorts. I haven't had a child yet ( also 44)

In the playground when mine were tiny there were mums ranging from 20-50 picking up, I'm not exaggerating!

There was a noticeable gap between late 20's and mid 30's where I fell, I don't think many 25 year olds were having babies but plenty of teens had and there were older mums proud to tell you it was via ivf. Anything goes, don't worry

I'm in south London and I know the mums ages by making small talk and over time u see the same ppl and so that's how I know they're all a fair bit younger then me

Oh wow, my friend has just turned 40 and has a year 1, my other friend is about 42 or 43, can’t quite remember, has a reception child. Totally unremarkable. There are definitely older (or at least, older looking, which let’s be honest is your issue here) parents in the school playground! And also far far younger of course.

It’s tiresome being worried about getting older. Better than the alternative, is it not? 35/36 is a totally normal age to have a baby.