Page 19 | To explode at family pressuring to see newborn?

coconean · 2024-02-15T20:25:11+00:00

I have a newborn and not had the best birth and have been quite poorly. I have explained to family several times now when I am ready I will let them know. Quite a few of family members have complained of fevers, flu etc so for obvious reasons im keeping my distance. Nobody seems to be respecting what I am saying and keep bombarding me with texts, like let me enjoy my baby! I feel ready to explode, I didnt do this when they had babies and left them to it until they were ready and just want the same respect.

dcthatsme · 19/02/2024 07:39

Why don't you say just be honest and say you are recovering from the birth, are not well, need time to get back your strength and have to use all your energy to care for the baby? Hopefully you'll be ready for them to meet your baby in a few weeks. The baby is their family so they are naturally keen to meet them but if you are overwhelmed I would hold off and just say you need time. It is a big deal for people to become aunts and uncles and for their kids to have a cousin but if you are overwhelmed and need time don't feel bad. Although ultimately it's your decision you are now caring for another human being who is also related to these people. I hope you feel better very soon. Big congratulations on the birth of your baby. I remember receiving visitors like a zombie when my first son was born.

T1Dmama · 19/02/2024 08:43

Thedance · 18/02/2024 11:21

How old is your baby and how close the family?
I saw all my GPs within a few hours of their birth and likewise close family and friends saw my children as soon after their birth as they could. Sone a few hours some a few days/weeks depending on how far away they lived.
I think family and family bonds are important and children can never have too many people who love them.
Of course you must do what feels right to you if you are not close to family or if you think seeing them will make you feel worse say no but generally I don't think cocooning yourself away for a long time after birth is healthy for the new parents or good for the child.

You need to read all of OP’s updates as she has explained the strained relationship she has with her siblings.
She has also stated that grandparents have been and seen baby,

Speckybecky123 · 19/02/2024 09:29

I completely get it. I had my mum, dad and sister that first week of my last child however that was in lockdown and when covid was high( made them wear masks) apart from parents and a couple of close friend I’ve not wanted to see lots of people. I have had 6 babies and dread the time where people ask to see them cause I am precious about germs and illness. When I was a kid I read a story in my mums Bella magazine about a baby being kissed by a family member and contacting herpes and dying. I was only about 10 when I read it but I swore to keep my babies clean and not allow many around them. Also do you know that except the mother, no one is meant to kiss newborns because of this and that in the first couple of months visitors are ment to be restricted. These are the heath guidelines the midwife sets. Your baby isn’t a toy, however definitely let grandparents see the baby. Just get them to wash there hands

T1Dmama · 19/02/2024 10:22

@coconean please don’t make any rash decisions about going no contact with your siblings while in a fragile state after birth, you’re traumatised and emotional and also tired, not the best combination to be making huge decisions about falling out with people.
Get your DH to message them asking them to respect your decision to be allowed some time to recover. And then ignore till you feel better x

T1Dmama · 19/02/2024 11:28

Also please ask your parents to stop passing on info about what others have said. You don’t need to know what they’re moans are….
t his is your time to enjoy xx please look after yourself, this time is precious and your mental health is crucial x

scoobysnaxx · 19/02/2024 12:13

Speckybecky123 · 19/02/2024 09:29

I completely get it. I had my mum, dad and sister that first week of my last child however that was in lockdown and when covid was high( made them wear masks) apart from parents and a couple of close friend I’ve not wanted to see lots of people. I have had 6 babies and dread the time where people ask to see them cause I am precious about germs and illness. When I was a kid I read a story in my mums Bella magazine about a baby being kissed by a family member and contacting herpes and dying. I was only about 10 when I read it but I swore to keep my babies clean and not allow many around them. Also do you know that except the mother, no one is meant to kiss newborns because of this and that in the first couple of months visitors are ment to be restricted. These are the heath guidelines the midwife sets. Your baby isn’t a toy, however definitely let grandparents see the baby. Just get them to wash there hands

Absolutely you cannot be too precious protecting your newborn from illness.

A family friends daughter was kissed by a priest when a baby and given the herpes virus.

She became seriously unwell and was hospitalised for 18 months in Great Ormond Street Hospital. All her hair fell out and the virus attacked her organs. She now has an autoimmune disease and cannot have children due to this. She is 25 now and is still bald.

Numerous cases like this as well as RSV.

Infuriates me when people complain about not being able to see babies when they're sick or kiss them!

cgkmum · 21/02/2024 20:53

Do not disturb setting on!