Recently widowed dad selling family home

[cambridgecoral]

My mum died in February last year. After starting dating before her funeral had even taken place, my dad almost immediately got himself a replacement servant from the OurTime dating website.

He is selling our family home, she is selling her little house, and they're going to buy a million pound house together.

He says he will put in his will that me and my brother are entitled to a quarter of the house upon the second death - the other two quarters being owned by her two grown up children.

He says he's 'protecting our inheritance' by putting it into property.
Is this true?
As far as I see it, my brother and I have gone from half each in the family home, to potentially a quarter in a house that half belongs his new girlfriend, who'll probably sell it to pay for her care costs in the end if dad dies before her.

How is this protecting our inheritance?
Does anyone know anything about the law on this?
I feel totally betrayed. I have a young son who now has no grandma, and she'd be devastated to know that everything she worked for was essentially being given to a family of near-strangers and not protected for her children and grandchild.

Feeling hopeless and hurt.

OP is there any chance at all that your DM might have written a will? Or did she just naively trust that your DF wouldn't totally fuck her (and his) own children over like this?

However OP as it sounds like he's got at least 2/3 of a million pounds, if you're in England, it looks like he shouldn't have automatically inherited everything after all:
"If there are surviving children, grandchildren or great grandchildren of the person who died and the estate is valued at more than £322,000, the partner will inherit:

• all the personal property and belongings of the person who has died, and
• the first £322,000 of the estate, and
• half of the remaining estate."

From: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/

There’s no entitlement to benefit from an inheritance.

I rent. Always will. I hope my dc aren't disappointed I won't be leaving them chunks of cash.. What an awful way to live.. If you can't appreciate and have great relationships with family don't bank on gaining when they die... My df won big money. And dumped me. If he leaves me any it will go to animal welfare charities... Couldn't spend it on myself..

Well that was quite a drip feed about your father

Your mum could have (legally) left her half of the house to you and your brother. She didn’t. If it’s important to you make sure you don’t make the same mistake and draw up your own will to leave your estate to your own children.

Thats all we can really do. You can’t change the past. You can’t make your dad into someone he isnt. Just get on with your own life, decide the things you have control over, make your own way.

Speaking from experience, you just have to let this go.

My parents divorced when I was 18. My dad left my mum everything and took nothing on the understanding the house etc would be left to my sibling and me.

He then started from scratch with his second wife.

Didn't make any provision for me and my brother in his Will and left everything to his new wife. Because nothing was ever put in writing, my mum took my sibling and I out of her Will - if your dad isn't going to leave you anything, why should I? And had her Will rewritten each time she got into a new relationship in their favour.

So we've got no inheritance coming to us. My dad is now dead and I haven't spoken to my mother (for unrelated reasons) for 12 years.

The best thing to do is to not dwell on it. As others have said, inheritance is not a right and you have no control over any of it. Your choices are to either accept it or spend the rest of your life angry about it.

Sorry OP, clearly those that are telling you it’s tough etc etc have never lost a parent and then watched the surviving parent move on very quickly. I sympathise with you.
could you take your dad out for lunch and explain your fears. If he still chooses to ignore you then I’m afraid there is nothing you can do. My dad did the same and my step mother has since moved on with my fathers house after he passed away. He always told me there was a Will to protect my mums share but you try finding a will that you haven’t seen - it’s impossible and probably was put in the bin on his deathbed.

This.

OP is fully entitled to think her Mum would want her legacy going to her children.

'Said so' means nothing. Your dad's wishes must be written down in a will.

Well yes, I agree it needs to be formalised. Had I known that the OP's dad is apparently so horrible, I would probably have written that!

He's only 'happier' because he has yet another vulnerable woman running around after him so he won't ever have to learn how to make a bed.

Look, she's happy to have him, and you won't get stuck looking after him (if he dies first as you are assuming), so surely this makes your life easier?

As for vulnerable though, all indications are that she is no fool at all.

Your dad's wishes must be written down in a will.

Probably better not if they’re not married. The new partner will be entitled to nothing apart from her share of the house which presumably could be proved to be a third.

Honestly he isn't even dead and you're worried about money.

I honestly detest posts like these.

I'm sorry he's moved on so quickly, that must really hurt.

I'm concerned about the money as our mental health is so poor from growing up in that environment that a small financial buffer in the future would give us a little bit of security.

This is completely irrelevant.

So he has a house worth (say) £667k and his new partner has a house worth £333k. Together they are buying a house worth £1m so your “share” has reduced from £333k to £250k?

I have several thoughts here:-

If he is abusive and a narcissist then there is a decent chance that he would have changed his will just before dying just to spite you. He may still do this. Therefore I would start from the premise of “there is no money” and go from there.

Assuming there is any money then him having a partner does mean that it is less likely that he will need paid for care so that will quickly change things anyway.

As the female child, if he didn’t have a partner I strongly suspect that you would be on the hook for everything from doing his shopping to care. But now you are free! Enjoy!

Subject to all of this I would think carefully about how much time, energy, love and support you want to give him as he ages. (NB - none is a valid answer if that is what you want to do!) And focus on you.

Put the money as number 47 on your 101 reasons why my dad is awful and I am moving on from him.

If your mum wanted to leave her share of the house to you she could have done that but it doesn't look like she did.
You say he's an abuser etc and yet you've had the conversation about what happens to the house . Is your relationship purely financial because you don't seem to actually like him very much
If he's such a horrible person i wouldn't want anything from him

If he's such a horrible person i wouldn't want anything from him

I still would. Bit of money never hurts.

Be careful OP. Abusive people use wills and inheritances to manipulate and hurt people.

I understand your hurt and frustration but this is something you can't control. Suggest that your father protects your inheritance in a trust. Make changes to your own will to protect your children. Then let it go - expect nothing and then be surprised if you get anything.

Condolences on the loss of your mum. 💐

You know that's your Dads money right?

Am I reading it right that you and your brother stand to get half a million between you?

Can you explain a bit about trusts/ an example of what I could suggest? Thanks!

No.

Are they married?
He needs giving his head a wobble. He should be leaving his portion of the estate you his own dc. He can leave her a life interest in the property which means she doesn't have to move out but it will mean if he dies first his share will not be hers and will not go into her care home fees.

There's literally no justification for older people leaving everything or even anything to their spouse other than a life interest.

His estate was built up over a lifetime with the OPs mother and should not be feathering anyone's nest but their own dc. As long as new partner is not left homeless then there is no justification whatsoever unless he actively dislikes his own dc

I hear this happening too often.
Your mum would want you to inherit her half of the house, but what your dad does with his half is up to him.
maybe he can put his half of the new house into yours and your brothers names rather than his? That is the only
way of truly protecting it?… own it as 25% yours and 25% your brothers and then his girlfriend can either do the same for her kids or put her 50% in her name?!

So you loathe him but want his money? Does that make you a better person than him? Not so sure.

say goodbye to him, and goodbye to the money