AIBU to think lingerie is a good Valentine's gift?

[Moonfishstar]

So, my friend is pissed off with her bf (been together 8 months) for buying lingerie for as a valentine's present. She says it's a "present for him, not her!" She showed me a photo - it's expensive and classy not cheap and nasty.

I disagree, and I think it's a good present - better than some tacky cuddly toy or a bunch of red roses that will be dead by the end of the week! It shows your partner thinks you're hot and desires you sexually -that's surely a good thing and something you can enjoy together rather than it being "for him", especially when sex in so many relationships seems to be either crap or a rare occurrence, and so many men seem to have their heads turned by porn!

Well with that kind of attitude, it's no wonder that so many people's sex lives are so shit!

Your friend has every right not to want lingerie as a gift for her valentines gift, everyone is different, women who do like it as a gift shouldn't be judged and women who don't like also shouldn't be judged or be told it's better than something else.

I got Lego roses and a Starbucks. I'm thrilled with that. I hope all the women who love lingerie have fun with that tonight while I'm building my Lego roses and dh reads his new book. Might ride him like a horse if the mood takes but if I don't feel like it there's plenty more days in the year.

We call gifts like that a Homer's Bowling Ball.

It's like the Lego Iron Man my son bought me for Christmas because he wanted one but wasn't allowed, and knew I'd let him play with mine.

Ok? Mines not 🤷‍♀️

Oh, those days of getting sexy things, but as a no pressured would love to see u in the outfit, along with the usual flowers and romance. Sigh, enjoy, it's a heartfelt gesture, he's saying you're sexy and you're the one he wants to see in that lingerie! X

So there's not an expectation of sex? Because you concede that they both have to be on the mood.

A present doesn't have expectations attached to it.

I have never needed to wear certain clothes to turn a partner on.

You say you love doing this for eachother, in your relationship. That's great. If you want to dress up in certain underwear because your partner gets a thrill out it. Great. Do it. It doesn't make people less sexual, happy, exciting to not want to.

And besides which, if he gets a thrill out of seeing her in that sort of underwear, it's still a present for him. He bought it because
it gives him a thrill. So she is right.

Weird that you think because you would be fine with it, She should be.

Your sex life is only good if you dress up?

I’d rather buy my own lingerie and get something else as a present tbh. It really depends on the person.

Doesn’t mean her sex life is shit, she might prefer her partner wearing sexy underwear to turn her on rather than being the object. Or she might be into something else all together.

I think underwear is a decent valentines present for a newer relationship, it’s a tacky love holiday afterall. But if your friend didn’t like it and it doesn’t mean she’s boring in bed. And you loving underwear doesn’t make you a sex god either. Sex is pretty personal, you and your friend don’t have to be sexually compatible.

I think it's a good present. Its's gifty because I would usually buy myself practical underwear rather than something decadent. I do t think it means he is a raging perv or anything.

A good present is only a good present if it's what the person likes and wants.

Some will love it. Some will hate it.

It would be rubbish as a birthday or Xmas present, maybe, but isn't that exactly the sort of shite that's appropriate for Valentines?

What did she get him?

He bought it because he wanted to see her and have sex with her. That’s it.

I would rather have no present

Don't you all like wearing things that turn on your DP? In my relationship we both love doing things for each other that we know the other will love, and we have really great sex as a result!

My dh would absolutely hate if I wore something that I felt uncomfortable in only to please him. Weve been together 24 years and our sex life is just fine. We listen to each others likes and dislikes and also have really great sex as a result.

Why do you seem to think those who don't want lingerie as gifts can't also be having a healthy and satisfying sex life.

In my relationship we both love doing things for each other that we know the other will love

Buying your partner cake because you know he loves it, even though you don't, is lovely. Buying underwear is the equivalent of him buying you cake - he's bought it so you can do something for him that he'll love.

Nope your friend is right!
I don't need my husband to buy me sexy underwear to know he finds me attractive he tells me so even in pj's!

Tbh it doesn’t matter if you disagree with your friend and think it’s a good present, friend was the one who received the gift and didn’t think it was a good present. YANBU to think lingerie is a good valentines gift but YWBU to judge a friend for not liking the gift

DP bought me roses (which the cat will spend the next week trying to work out the best climbing route to get to pull them out of the vase and has just walked back in the door with a giant pack of superplus tampons, a breezeblock sized packet of sanitary towels, a tub of cocoa powder and a litre of coconut milk.

Wouldn't mind if he decided to buy me some nice lingerie, but the reality is altogether more prosaic these days.

Do you enjoy wearing things that you like and think look nice?

If anyone bought me underwear and it was of a design I like I’d be pleased- I choose clothes I like the look, feel and fit of- so if it fit in those categories I’d like it.

great so instead of counting the ceiling tiles your counting the seconds until the ill fitting itchy shit is off of you and then spend the rest of the time wondering if it will handle being machine washed and if the dye will color everything else something weird?
thoughtless wasteful irresponsible "gift"

this!!!

The lack of ) left me momentarily very confused about your cats load carrying skills.

Gee you sound lovely. Some people do enjoy sex even if they don’t like sexy underwear though.

i find it a massive turn on to be bought lingerie but it really is each to their own .