To have said I wasn't going to feed them?

[chucklechucky]

This happened last weekend but only had chance to post.

Last Saturday I ended up looking after DSS 11 by myself when DH had to work overtime. We also have a 3 year old together.

DSS had asked for a friend to sleep over which to be honest I wasn't keen on as I was by myself and could have done without another child in the house when DH wasnt there but I reluctantly agreed after a bit of guilt tripping!

I did say to DH though that if DSS's friend was staying then he would have to have tea at his own home first and come after that as I didn't want to have to feed him as well (the friend). We didn't have any pizzas to chuck in unless I dragged a 3 year old to the shop for one and what I'd planned to cook was more of a sit at the table kind of meal which I didn't want to have to do with DSS's friend, who I've never met.

Dh seemed a bit put out by this and was making comments like "you wouldn't say that if it was DC3s friend when they are older".

We ended up getting into a little bit of an argument and I basically said he either eats before he comes or he doesn't come. Dh did end up speaking to DSS who asked his friend to have tea first. Friend did so, came over, and they were fine (if not a little loud and had to be told a few times to keep it down once it was late).

Things with me and DH were tense the next day.

Was I being unreasonable? I felt I was doing DH a favour as it was, and then another on top having DSS's friend over when he wasn't there and I just cba cooking tea for another person on top of that too and having to have a sit down meal with a random 11 year old I didn't know.

I don't see how it's a big deal to just simply ask a friend to have tea before coming over. Aibu?

Whatever. That's MN for you.

I think how OP should treat her DSS is not just about what the law requires of her.

@InterIgnis

@InterIgnis

*Yes, and as such it goes around in the same circles every time.

Always lots of people seemingly quite upset that not everyone shares their opinions.

“You’re unreasonable because you didn’t do what I think you should have!”

”I disagree”

”you’re a MEANIE!”*

Loving how everyone else portrayed as irrational and inflexible here. Just not you.

"Only on mn people support Cinderellas step mum"

Yes quite 😂 thankfully they're a tiny minority of women generally in a close to divorce situation themselves with lots of grudge and unhappiness. no love to give and trying to justify it. Usually mn step mum board discovers a thread and tries to flood it like this. Oh but you don't know how it is, your opinion is irrelevant (90% of the public, including stepmums who are in a good place, , and its only your opinion that's relevant is it?) , oh I'm just a nice auntie (=mean bitch who will just ignore a child ), it's not my responsibility, (have seen that for a 2 year old and she wasn't alone dh there, dh wanted to go to the loo but sm wouldn't even want to stay in the same room), bloody bla bla. Then goes onto threads like "how can I get my dad out of inheritance" , how can I not take her in holiday with us... My dp says we should... Then of course same names appear in "dh wants a divorce" 🤣

If you are with a person who has a child, that child is family, an equal member of the family. If you can't accept that, close the door on your way out.

‘Lots of posters’ =/ ‘everyone else’

That’s up to her 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes Mumsnet, where it’s the majority as well as the minority of blended families/stepmothers that are terrible. Where children are mostly discarded by their fathers pushed to make way for the new wife/second family, whilst said fathers are simultaneously valiantly sticking up for their first children and jettisoning demonic stepmothers.

What does that even mean? You sound so bitter, @InterIgnis

thankfully they're a tiny minority of women generally in a close to divorce situation themselves with lots of grudge and unhappiness.
The bile is strong in this post
Does the idea of women having boundaries really upset you that much? 😵‍💫

Not sure I understand either @StarlightLime ...so bitter forgot how to articulate..

That’s up to her 🤷🏻‍♀️

No shit. Who said it wasn't?

But still avoids the idea that many posters don't see their 'legal responsibilities' to SC as their only responsibility.

*Yes Mumsnet, where it’s the majority as well as the minority of blended families/stepmothers that are terrible. Where children are mostly discarded by their fathers pushed to make way for the new wife/second family, whilst said fathers are simultaneously valiantly sticking up for their first children and jettisoning demonic stepmothers.

• You what?

Ah! Are you describing my character or flavour profile? I’m going to assume the former, and if so I think you should carry on. Let’s get it all out in one go, it’ll make you feel better and save us both the time.

It means the prevailing narrative on mumsnet as to what exactly the majority is varies wildly depending on the thread.

*Ah! Are you describing my character or flavour profile? I’m going to assume the former, and if so I think you should carry on. Let’s get it all out in one go, it’ll make you feel better and save us both the time.

It means the prevailing narrative on mumsnet as to what exactly the majority is varies wildly depending on the thread.*

Who cares? Of course it varies. Why are you even expecting it not to ?

Stop pontificating about MN and derailing.

It means good luck picking just one narrative about what the majority consensus of mumsnet/society at large is. It tends to vary wildly dependent upon the thread, and upon what position best supports the argument of the one claiming to know it.

I didn’t say I did.

I responded to a post, about the post. That isn’t derailing. Of course if you personally find it to be irrelevant then feel free to ignore it and not engage. No one is forcing you to ☺️

ugh... i missed the opportunity for "burn her shes a witch"....oops. I STILL dont think was an unreasonable condition. I do NOT think it even slides into a step mum\ actual mum narrative. As much as a ..extra kid on hands....you compromised. theres nothing to fight about

I responded to a post, about the post. That isn’t derailing. Of course if you personally find it to be irrelevant then feel free to ignore it and not engage. No one is forcing you to ☺️

Yep more talking about yourself and your theory of MN.

Not derailing at all.

@sunglassesonthetable of course @InterIgnis should stand up for herself when people call her bitter. Stop policing the thread, unless it’s to call out personal attacks.

Stop policing the thread, unless it’s to call out personal attacks.

stop policing the thread yourself 😂

Do keep going…

Bile 😂 I was literally talking about the "bile" on sm boards here.

Op has left anyway. Hopefully she has gotten the message of what people would be thinking, but not saying in real life. Aibu? yes darling very very u...

Btw, if I was the mum of that "random" child, I'd be very worried about your sc. (and question the state of mind who can't, won't, put a plate in front of a child out of pure spite. Maybe if assumed you're destitute or just understand that you're a bit mean and weird) also, as pp said, what happened to breakfast, did you chuck them out without any? Or dss ate and the kid looked on?

Do you know what? I kind of hope that the people who absolutely don’t want to consider anything other than their rigid ‘won’t anyone think of the children/evil witches’ narrative end up with SC. And/or for their children to be SC.

Might get them off the moral high horse.

and maybe they might see that ‘everyone does not agree with them. Even on this thread.

Of course the OP hasn’t been back. Because who wants to engage with the burn the witch brigade?

Do you know what? I kind of hope that the people who absolutely don’t want to consider anything other than their rigid ‘won’t anyone think of the children/evil witches’ narrative end up with SC. And/or for their children to be SC.

oh give it a rest. You don't have a clue about 90% posters on here.

And chill out. You can agree with an AIBU without wanting to 'burn a witch '

Stop being a drama lama.

‘don’t be a drama llama’?

Oh the irony. 🤣🤣

yeah, whatever

So your being nasty and rude but it’s the OP everyone should think badly of, because you can’t refuse to put a plate in front of a child (who isn’t actually there) but you can fantasise other people are miserable and bitter and it’s fine😂