MIL wants to attend funeral but is supposed to be my childcare

[tinatsarina]

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

1. If she was employed she may have chosen to book a days leave
2. Funerals are often at a weeks notice If not less. What did you expect?

I think you need to rethink your childcare arrangements. And if I was her I’d also be wanting to rethink given your attitude.

There is no way you can be for real.

How dare someone die without checking your schedule first 🤬
You have childcare your husband so be grateful.
If I was mil I wouldn't babysit again you sound controlling and entitled!

Oh my good god you’re such a selfish cow!

IMAGINE being like this! OP, Seriously. Sort your life out.

If she was employed they wouldn’t give her time off for looking after your children either. So this argument is neither here nor there She is unemployed, the advantage of this is that she can attend as many funerals as she wants to.

I understand your frustration due to upcoming interviews but getting childcare from family is always risky. If you want stability put DC at a formal setting.

YABVVVU
She helps you out with free childcare most of the time and you are begrudging her saying no for once, in order to attend a funeral?!

What is wrong with you? Childcare is yours & DHs responsibility, not hers
DH can take time off on this occasion
You can either stop being so entitled or actually get paid childcare

I hope you didn't say anything to her yet. If you did, you owe her an apology and wishes that the funeral goes as well as possible

Very reasonable of her to want to go to this funeral. I haven't seen my SIL's siblings for years but if one of them died I'd be at the funeral.

Your DH can take the day off.

The short notice trip sounds like more of an issue, I don't blame her for it but I understand it could have been tricky for you. Perhaps look into paid childcare.

I refuse to believe this thread is real. Nobody could be so entitled and self serving?

Extremely unreasonable, and entitled to boot!

If this is a reverse, shame on you for making up stories.

Worse than that, it's not a reverse. Double shame on you for winning "the most self centered mumsnetter of 2024" award.

Are you for real? Your husband needs to look after your children here. YABVU

It is the funeral of the brother of her sister-in-law
Hardly a close relative - but some people love the drama of a funeral 9or love the opportunity to bitch and moan about the deceased/relatives of the deceased
So I don't think YABU - the woman made a commitment to you @tinatsarina , and should stick to it
The funeral may be live-streamed, she can watch it while minding the kids.

Really? It's a funeral that will only get done once and your husband can take the day off? What did you expect people to say, you are totally being unreasonable, she's your MIL and doesn't have any responsibility for your kids, that's yours and your husband's responsibility - Wow!

She's not employed. Not even by her entitled DIL. You want childcare that isn't disrupted by occasional events like funerals, you want to bleat and whine about how employees wouldn't get the time off then then you fucking pay for it and employ a professional from an agency. She's not your unpaid skivvy. YABVU. If I were your MIL you would never cadge an hour of childcare from me again with that attitude.

BUT SHE'S NOT EMPLOYED.

People who are employed are entitled to time off for the funeral of close relatives. A brother and sister-in-law are close relatives.

Just as well you are not employing someone to do your childcare as they could leave and sue you for constructive dismissal.

YABVVU. It is a funeral. It doesn't matter a jot whether you think it's important for her to be there. For whatever reason, she has decided that she needs to go. You don't get a say in that.

It was kind of her to offer to help with childcare and I get that it's inconvenient when plans change, but the circumstances have changed and it can't be helped.

Your DH is taking annual leave. There isn't a problem here, other than your horribly selfish and entitled attitude.

Just what am I reading? Have some fucking respect OP, your attitude is dreadful.

Look after your own children in future, make arrangements with no one as you can't be reasonable if they have to change their decision, for things outwith their control.

This can't be real. Of course she would get time off for a funeral if she was employed but that's irrelevant, she's not employed, unless you have employed her to look after your children?? You sound like an absolute b*h tbh op, your poor MIL

This is too ludicrous to be true - nobody is that self-centred (and 3 job interviews in one afternoon? Really?)

But if it IS true - you're not nice, OP.

I would never decline time off for a family funeral.

Might be someone she has known for years/decades. Or she may want to support her sister in law