MIL wants to attend funeral but is supposed to be my childcare

[tinatsarina]

So my MIL has the kids for me next Monday while I have 3 job interviews that afternoon. she's now told me she has to attend her sister in laws, brothers funeral. My parents both work so can't cover my childcare (half-term here). Told my partner to tell his mum she can't go but he said she's entitled to and people don't owe me anything. He's now potentially taking the day off even though she had already agreed to the childcare first AIBU to be annoyed that they are prioritising this funeral over the childcare?

I can understand it’s not a first choice but, if desperate, in all honesty, given they are vetted and record checked, it isn’t massively different from when you first take them to nursery or a childminder.

It is different to me because it's one on one, and no time to get to know them. We wouldn't even consider it, DH would be off work (just as OP and her DH has done).

@ColleenDonaghy the DH is not off work! OP got a friend to do it.

Sorry! Confused my threads.

Everyone starts apart fron super clsoe familg and close relatives starts at being strangers. you sometimes have to put tor trust out there and start bulidng up relationships to have that support build up. creche workers teachers friends etc all start off as strangers

They are your children. You and your husband are responsible for them. Your MIL is going to a funeral not letting you down to go on a shopping trip.

@Wexone OP only has a week. It's too late to build a relationship with a sitter at this point. Fortunately her friend can step in.

I agree that she needs to do this in future though, so she's not dependent on one person, who can let her down.

yes she has her friend. her friend would have been a stranger at some stage though
Shame she didn't say at the beginning though when mil said she had a funeral and she dound out her husband couldn't take time off before she said her mother coudkbf go of its OK I will ask friend to do it .

wow who is the selfish one here

But I thought there were several children, so not one to one? And if they are normally at school they aren’t speechless babies. It’s really no different from a learning support teacher or similar taking a couple of children out of class to do a private session in a different classroom. The sitting agencies only have people who are vetted. They might in all honesty have more clue about first aid etc than the friend. I get that it’s not ideal but if the interviews are important it’s OP and DH’s job to sort childcare.

Not saying the friend isn’t fine OP: I’m sure they are! But just saying I’m sure as a one- off a babysitter via an agency would be fine too.

Ok, fine - not one on one. I wouldn't leave an unknown adult in sole charge of my children. It's very different to nursery or school staff to me, who are known by the wider nursery/school community. For an unknown babysitter I'd need a personal recommendation from someone I know well.

I don't think I'm alone in this.

@ColleenDonaghy then I suggest you do t bite the hand that feeds, like OP seems to be intent on!

Well quite, our childcare is paid for with a side of flexible working, we've never depended on grandparents and I admit to an eye roll at those with unreasonable expectations of extended family. But I think it's fair enough to avoid unknown babysitters even in an emergency.