To think that ow genuinely fall for the lies their men spin?

[aimans]

Men who have affairs, leave or are kicked out, destroy their children's mental health, speak awfully about their wives/exes , ignore/ let down their kids regularly especially when an offer of sex/ drink etc comes up?
The majority of us know that these men are shit in every way but do you really think that their OW's believe their bullshit or underneath it all, are cut from the same cloth?

The mental gymnastics thing reminds me of people being abused as a child blaming anyone else but not their parent who hurts them as they depend on them (their parent) for survival.

So blame the next nearest?

'They' are horrible people? So 'they' and every situation is exactly the same?

Blanket statements like this are just meaningless

@MidnightMeltdown 'They' are horrible people? So 'they' and every situation is exactly the same? Blanket statements like this are just meaningless.

Yes, I think they are. Anyone who gets involved with someone who is in a relationship is. You know that they are lying to their partner, you know that hurt will be caused to the other person, and that you have helped to cause that hurt. So it's not a meaningless statement, I meant every word even if you don't agree.

Yes I totally agree. It’s understandable and I think why quite often a few years down the line, when betrayed spouses are emotionally ready to see what their husband actually is, the ‘reconciliation’ often fails.

What's sad on this thread is that there are such sweeping statements and generalisations being made, but always against the female in the situation.

All OWs are poor quality / harlot / etc etc as well as being incredibly naive and stupid to fall for the MM's lies.
All Wives that have been cheated on have been naive in not realising an affair was going on.
All Wives that decide to stay are naive in believing the MM has changed.

Let's be clear. Some OWs may have these tendencies. Some wives may have these tendencies.

For the record, my stance is that yes, having an affair is immoral - regardless of your sex. I believe the blame rests solely with the person who has previously committed to someone else, be that through marriage vows or simply by way of a serious relationship. But I do also understand that the world isn't black and white, and there are lots of nuances to consider.

While such women do exist, based on what I've seen, I actually think it's the rarest type of OW. And her type is a man who loves the idea of two women fighting over him.

Well with that lack of logic you could say that the wife failed to keep the attention of a pretty poor specimen herself. Sounds horrible, doesn't it? Also stupid.

Stop focusing on OW; focus on the cheating married person.

I agree. It's a devious thing to do.

Was thinking exactly the same, it is more stupid and desperate to insist on keeping a cheating man than falling, briefly, for one.

@ItLiterallyJustSaysFoldInTheCheese
What's sad on this thread is that there are such sweeping statements and generalisations being made, but always against the female in the situation.

Because the thread is about OW that's why.

Because the thread is about OW that's why.

It always is. That's the point.

Why do we not spend all this time wondering why married men have affairs or how they could do this to their families? Why are we so unquestioning about that?

If you'd read all of my comment, you'd see I was questioning/bemoaning the general, sweeping statements about all women in this topic - the OWs and the wives.

That's what's sad, the fact that so many want to categorise / pigeonhole everybody in the same way. The reality is that each and every one has their own reasons for doing whatever they do.

I feel like usually it's the man that gets the most flak tbh. People often say that as the OW is single she has no responsibility to the family.

I feel like usually it's the man that gets the most flak

On here??? You must be new. Very new.

Most aren't told initially that the man is married, they're lied to. So they're blamed for believing the lies and later blamed by men for being "bitter" and blamed by women for being "scum" or "the lowest of the low".