To think that ow genuinely fall for the lies their men spin?

[aimans]

Men who have affairs, leave or are kicked out, destroy their children's mental health, speak awfully about their wives/exes , ignore/ let down their kids regularly especially when an offer of sex/ drink etc comes up?
The majority of us know that these men are shit in every way but do you really think that their OW's believe their bullshit or underneath it all, are cut from the same cloth?

The breakdown of a marriage no matter how it goes is going to be hard on everyone

you genuinely have no clue. It’s a lot easier to manage when there’s a warm body in the bed next to you. When there’s someone rooting for you and supporting you. Far easier when there’s 2 wages coming into your household and you’re not the one left managing the mortgage of a property bought on the back of two full time salaries. Even better when you’re that much further ahead in the process mentally and just seamlessly moving on. Really so much easier when you’re not the one listening to your children cry and having to answer their why did daddy leave me questions. Great that you get half your time (and usually more) child free to have long lie ins with that new partner; not so great when your children are away for the night and return with stories of carefree time and pretty girlfriends.

I always remember an awful human I met at a barbecue who got pissed on wine and despite being engaged to her new partner at the time told us all about when she met the man she entered into an affair with. She had SO much hatred for his wife who had no idea she had started working with him and in her words when she saw him she thought 'I'm in trouble here' because she fancied him... this was years after and she still told a group of strangers how his incompetent wife couldn't do things like drive on roundabouts etc ( probably was a nervous wreck being married to such a piece of shit ) and how when her now ex left his wife for her, he turned into a twat and ended up assaulting her. Despite all this she was still deluded as fuck and being nasty about the wife. I have never met a more unpleasant individual who oozed so much arrogance, ugliness and was more boring to listen to. It was quite pathetic how this was obviously still quite thrilling for her and she thought strangers cared as much as she did. I just saw a mess infront of me who had no self worth. I hope the wife is doing well now

Women who have affairs with married men know they are being told lies about how the wife is mean/abusive/doesn't want sex/etc, but they are too egotistical to care and too delusional to think that their boyfriend will ever do the same to them.
A friend of mine had an affair with a guy who was married with 4 kids, he would pick her up from work with his 1 old year in the car which she thought was hilarious. She knew everything he said was a lie, but she liked the attention he gave her. It was pathetic, and up until then I didn't think that affair partners were that bad, not innocent but not as nasty as some people claim they are. But that's a load of crap, they are just as bad as the men they are having sex with.

I'm hopeful that women are finally starting to see the 'crazy ex' bullshit for what it is.

It's basically a form of dating while still married. He wants to know that the new relationship is worth it before leaving his family.

Why leave before having a new relationship all set up? He would still get all the grief for leaving his kids, but none of the benefit and someone to support him when he leaves.

It's not fair, but most men think like this.

You do get these people who will compete over anything at the drop of a hat, never pausing to think about whether what they are competing over is really a prize. In recent years I have come to realise that there are loads of these mindless people.

This competing thing is why I think MIL (sometimes SIL), step children, ex and new partners exist for some people, and why social media is so popluar

and I say MIL and I don't hear much mentioned about FILs

How can the affair partner be just as bad as the person who's actually shitting on his own family and his own promises?

If getting married doesn't make you more responsible for it than some unrelated stranger, marriage is meaningless.

So what's going wrong with these men then? These men who all the sensible, decent women saw enough qualities in to chose as a life partner, that ten years or so down the line have completely changed their characters and gone from excellent husband/father material to deceitful betrayer? And have so far moved from their former tastes and value systems that they are not only cheating, but cheating with women who are such low, inferior creatures, desperate, that no single man would want, ugly inside and out?

They're really, really good actors to the wife and the OW doesn't mind that they're a bit of a cunt because she finds validation in knowing he is slagging his wife off and she's his dirty secret. I loved it when the OW in our office was humbled by finding out her vile affair partner wasn't just cheating on his wife with her, he was cheating on her with someone else. She was delusional as fuck though so she still thought she was a victim in the same way the wife was😂Like please, you've lost a regular half arsed shag with a man who was with you when his small child got rushed to hospital and his wife couldn't get hold of him, she's lost what she thought was her world.

Lots of OWs aren't aware the man is in a relationship or married with children.

But yes, I do wonder what people who fully know they are with a man in an affair situation think.
I'm guessing these men are good at spinning a lie. They convince their wife that everything is Greta whilst simultaneously convincing another woman it's an awful relationship he will leave for her.

Lust and love do strange things to peoples ability to think straight.

This post is both misogynistic and deeply unintelligent.

😂please elaborate?

It's not really worth the energy, but since you asked so nicely. The focus is almost 100% on the woman with barely a mention of the man. It plays right into the nasty viewpoint of an OW deserving heartbreak while a MM deserves more cheating sex, because even though he crapped on his own family with her, the most important thing is that he's an agent of justice for her. He's shagging away while his child is ill and she still gets almost the full force of wrath. It's gleeful and spiteful. The reasoning for why it's so different for a wife to be taken in is hugely reductive, over-simplistic and frankly dumb. The entire post is devoid of any nuance or critical thinking and perpetuates misogynistic stereotypes.

Hope that helps.

Hahahahaha you're so, so wrong. She is a horrible individual who I personally met and observed throughout the entire thing. This isn't just a post on the Internet it was peoples lives. Oh and in relation to the child, I know about that as I was unlucky enough to hot desk opposite her on the day she was giggling about his wife ringing and ringing him to a colleague :) so yes i am VERY gleeful she got the same treatment and if that makes me a misogynist I am so happy about that. I assume you're the OW and this touched a nerve when you realised you aren't special, just like it did for her when she was cheated on too except, unlike the wife she had shown the man no likeable qualities whatsoever and couldn't even argue that he had been unfair to her. You lose them how you found them. As for his lovely wife, she has done very well in another department and is married again to the nicest man. I think you need to reflect on why it is you think the OW is without fault but her actions and their impact on the wife is acceptable. Seems a lot of the OW camp are blind to the fact that they think the wife deserves no compassion at all and yes, that compassion is shown through the disgust for the OW.

Oh and this shouldn't need a mention as it's blindingly bloody obvious but this post is ABOUT OW so yes the focus will be on them. Stop excusing OW's poor actions just because there's a man involved. We l know he's a tosser, can still think the OW is a heinous bully with sociopathic tendencies and no moral compass in the mean time.

She might well be a horrible individual but this prince still chose her over his own wife and family, his own personal responsibilities. But all your glee and schadenfreude is pointed at her and not the man who caused it to happen. Because she's the woman.

She's also only one person in one situation. She's not every person who ever had an affair.

Anyway, you asked. I did say that I knew it wasn't worth the energy. I think it's pretty obvious to anyone who does actually think a married man is responsible for where he puts his own dick. It's a mess of lazy misogyny and man pandering but it's par for the course on here.

Christ people like you are dangerous, I too think you're not worth the energy. Very disturbed thinking there.

From my experience I believed the lies. He told me he had no kids, when he had 2. He told me they were separating and living separate lives in the same house. When I found out his lies I told the partner and she was hell bent on ruining my life as I 'must have known'. She's still with him nearly a decade on and they have more kids. Good luck to her.

Experiences like this are very different and I hope you know the posts against OW on this thread aren't talking about you at all. You may have technically been one but if you truly believed he was virtually single and childless you are absolutely as much a victim as the wife is. Hope you're okay now.

Yes, disturbed and dangerous to say a MM is 100% responsible for what he does. And not an agent of justice who deserves more cheating sex in order to bring due punishment to the woman he cheats with. You're right, I take back everything I said about your reasoning being ridiculous. How could anyone argue with this.

They are pretty desperate if they get involved with a married man at all, having failed to attract a single one.

@MountainBarbie thank you. My facebook used to say where I worked (doesn't now) and she came to my work with her kids and refused to leave. On another occasion she stopped her car to confront me when I was with my young nephew. It was absolutely awful. Will always wish I'd never told her. I developed awful anxiety. He tried contacting me a few times in the years that past via Facebook and instragram and he got blocked.

Disturbed for believing the OW isn't responsible for her part, dangerous for defending it in such a black and white, emotionally unintelligent way that you truly believe the MM is the only one at fault. I think the OW is in many ways worse, maybe because I'm a huuuuuge misogynist or maybe because as women we all know what each other goes through being a woman on a daily basis and the OW laughing at you, making fun of your life crumbling whilst she enjoys what you think you have feels like a very deep betrayal. You can lose many partners in life, but losing the sisterhood ( and I know people like you don't believe in that because it then excuses shitty behaviour by women to other women ) is a far bigger loss. Who do you turn to when you're heartbroken if you can no longer trust other women to get it? No wonder women so often take their own lives when they have been terrorised into such crippling loneliness, but its fine the OW is blameless. As for the man being rewarded with cheating sex, I don't consider that much of a prize? Says a lot about your thinking if you think cheating sex is a big reward for him. I think it's quite gross and undermines healthy sexual relations with loving intentions. It minimises the pathetic sod to a jumble of animalistic urges and a lack of self control. 'More cheating sex' isn't a reward.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better,

But it's nonsense.