AIBU to think that I should be financially rewarded for DH working overtime?

[WhatsMyUsername89]

Very controversial this and I know I’m going to sound like a spoilt brat.

DH works a well paid job; I work part time (4days hrs compressed into 3, so LONG hours) and the rest of the week is spent with 2year old DC.

We do financially ok, can afford 1 holiday a year.

DH has started doing overtime every Saturday and has started going “on call” of an evening. He doesn’t get called out every evening but when he does he usually is out for a solid 5/6hrs.

So he’s working much more, which means I am also subsequently putting more of a shift in to support him working more. Household chores, childcare, making dinners etc etc

now because of this extra work DH got a SUBSTANTIAL more amount of money in his pay packet, which he says “is for the family”

However, I don’t actually ever SEE any of the money? He will buy me clothes, pay for meals out etc. but I never have been given any finances. I would never ask him to buy me something (DC yes).

because I am part time, my money is much less than before DC - however bills are split fairly!

so I feel put out, he’s working more and reaping the financial rewards. I am working more (childcare,household chores etc) and not seeing any reward except an occasional Nando’s and a pair of pyjamas.

I’ve told him that he should really appreciate how much him working more has an effect on me, but he just laughs and says DC are in bed so no issues.

I am unable to do any overtime in my job so can’t even do that.

id just love an extra £100 to get my nails done or a facial or something to CHOOSE to spend my money on.

AIBU to think that I should be financially rewarded for DH working overtime? - if yes how on EARTH do I approach this convo.

Surely it should all go in one big pot of money, you agree on the joint/family expenditure, agree on how much is to be saved, big purchases etc. The rest is yours (both of yours) to spend how you wish.

This !

Is husbands overtime and on call mandatory? It is for some people and it wreaks havoc on families not wanting it or able to do it because of family needs. If not, and he took it without both of you discussing the pros and cons such as what the extra money will go towards to best benefit the family
(ie. savings, exciting vacation,education funding, etc), how you will handle child care and what his absence means to your child, you and he (emotional, missing each other, not building memories, lack of support all around for all of you, him included since he is away from the family unit where he would get those things) then you may have a relationship problem to work through. No evil peoples here- just perhaps some work to do on how you both approach relationship, rearing children, commitment to each other and family as emotionally and physically present persons, transparency, etc. .