Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

I’d be livid if someone turned up to my wedding in battlefield kit. Grow up. There are lovely flattish shoes or low wedged heels that look elegant.

How hideous.

I was thinking about this. Would I be bothered by jeans? And honestly, no, I wouldn't. I invited people to my wedding, not their wardrobe. I just don't care anymore how anyone dresses, it is their personality and integrity of character that I am interested in.

I’d be fine with it. I hate heels.

I honestly think the chunky boots look like more effort has been made than the ballet flats.

This!

Absolutely no need for this childish comment.

I bet you’re an unhappy judgmental person that looks down their nose at random people, who dare to have a different sense of style to you, because you’ve got nothing better to do with your time or energy. 🤢

Grow up.

I 100% wear Dr Martens all the time & wear them to weddings even with long floaty dresses. I’m am very alt though & heavily tattooed so I think people would be more shocked if I turned up in a floral dress with heels. I think if that’s what you want to wear then wear them, you know your style. Here’s a pic of the last wedding out with Dr Marten Jadons (had to screenshot an Instagram reel, didn’t have an actual pic)

Re: DMs, it totally depends on the wedding, and whether you're close to the couple. If it's your best mate, I'm sure she'll be fine with it. If it's a distant cousin or work colleague, maybe less so.

Re: heels, of course you don't need to wear them! Hardly anyone does nowadays, even in my very stuffy corporate workplace - boots, pumps or brogues are far more common than heels, and those that do wear them wear low ones. Skyscrapers are very passé.

If I knew my family or friend was livid about my shoes I don’t think we’d be friends for long. I always wear Docs even to weddings & I don’t even hide my tattoos shock horror. Thankfully they’re good people though so don’t mind what’s on my feet

YABU doc martens are inappropriate for most weddings. YANBU heels are the pits.

You remind me of Dolores Umbridge.

I wouldn’t give a shit what anyone wore to my wedding.

But I’m not the one getting married and neither is anyone here so all opinions are kind of irrelevant

OP… if you’re asking on here then you’re not sure. So check with the bride.

I don't respect women who always claim that other doing x, y or z is always to titillate men.

Because Doc Martens are casual shoes, like trainers. Not suitable wedding attire. Someone wearing them to a wedding would look like a right scruff.

Where I work, we have a dress code - smart, no jeans, no trainers...DMs are allowed. They're certainly not "scruffy".

But that is why they were created. That was their sole intended purpose.

@EarthyMangold

I can't imagine that, on the day, the bride will care what you wore in your feet, especially if she's a good friend. The fact is you turned up to her wedding with clean polished footwear and a nice dress and behaved with good manners on the day. Actually what you're planning on wearing is far better than some of the "don't care" horrors I e seen some people wear at weddings. 🌹

You do realise, that in 2024 weddings are a lot less traditional then say in the 50’s/60’s yes?

Over the last few years I’ve been to a:
Teepee/Tent wedding on a farm - the bride and groom wore wellies.
beach weddings - bride and groom barefoot, guests also barefoot/sandals/flip flops.
registry office wedding - some guests in trainers.

Unless there is a strict dress code set by the bride and groom that is stated on the official invitation then guests should be able to wear footwear that feels most comfortable for them.

I’m still struggling to see how wearing Doc Martens makes someone look like a scruff.

Oh well then I guess I’m a scruff…

What about Dr Martens sandals OP? Just found this pic on camera role that I think all the Doc haters must find appropriate? This was in a very posh Manchester City Centre hotel, tattoos, leather harness & chains (clutch your pearls ladies)

Certainly not wedding attire is it?

Red dress & yellow dress both worn to weddings, both in very posh hotels. Plus the grey vintage satin dress posted earlier in comments was also worn to a wedding. So yes, all wedding attire & if that makes me a scruff in your eyes then I’m happy to look like a scruff

You’re a gorgeous scruff.

Free the Docs!

I expect it is what’s acceptable in your social circles. Certainly would look extremely out of place at any wedding I’ve been to. Weddings are formal events and you’re expected to dress appropriately. It’s good manners and respectful to dress appropriately for the occasion. It’s sad that these standards are disappearing.