Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

In the 90s, my wedding get-up was nice dress, heels, pashmina and fascinator. That feels so incredibly dated now!

Thankfully I missed the nude/coloured Kate Middleton trend 😴 Nude shoes should be banned from any event anywhere!

I haven’t had a wedding invite for some time, I am hoping our friends’ kids will start to settle down so I get some invites. I am definitely not going with that dated look anymore!

Your boots look fantastic.

I think unless it's stated that the wedding is casual then there is an expectation for fairly formal attire. Even if it's not stated on the invitation.

No one is ever going to state what footwear is appropriate.

FH, nude heels! Ugh… Like giant Band Aids.

I wore docs to my own wedding so wouldn't bat an eyelid at a guest doing the same. I say go for it!

Why do people keep saying heels are old fashioned? The shops are rammed with them so someone must be buying them and think they are fashionable. I see the young women I know wearing them all the time for evenings! I think the trainers/doc Martens with formal dresses look it totally cliche' and it's not a good one if you over 18. Just wear some nice flat shoes.

Unless there’s a specific dress code the poster’s look is absolutely fine for a wedding.

Apart from the dress and shoes

If I was getting married that look on a guest wouldn’t bother me at all.

Our mam always made me wear heels to weddings. She bought them and charged me (£20 in the sale! Bargain!) I only wear them to weddings she's also going to.
I say wear the DMs! Heels are really old fashioned nowadays.

I'm not good with heels either, I end up looking like Bambi On Ice and not in a good way. I went to a wedding recently and wore a really lovely pair of kitten heel shoes, perfect height, very elegant, supremely comfortable and a great shoe for most styles of outfit.

I was going to say it depends on your relationship with the bride, the type of wedding, etc.

Close friend, casual type of wedding? Yes I’d wear my docs.

Family member I’m not close with, church/stately home type wedding - no way. I’d wear some some metallic Mary Jane type flats. Loads in the shops now.

I see your friend is happy so you’re all good.

I wouldn’t want you to wear Doc martens if it was my wedding… you also don’t have to wear heels! You could go for some metallic ballet pumps if it’s too early for Sandals. Wear flats by all means but not Doc martens! If you like the grungey look you could go with some of the studded ballet pumps with ankle straps that are really in at the moment.

Heels usually look pretty dated to me these days. I haven't bought any in over 15 years.

If someone had worn DM boots at my wedding, I wouldn't have even noticed, much less cared. We had a full scale church/country house reception do, but literally could not care less what people wore to it!

You know your crowd OP, not every bride/groom will give a shit about your footwear, in the nicest possible way!

My sister and I both are trainers and docs girls. We own about 100 pairs of trainers between us. Flatter the better. She wore converse high tops and a dress to a wedding the other month and she looked bloody brilliant. Dressed it up with a great bag and accessories, hair was lovely. I’d go for it. I always envy those that have a style they aren’t afraid to show off. I scrutinise everything I wear based on what others could say. No freedom in that of course which is why I hate dressing up for certain occasions because I always feel like a knob, never comfortable.
I work with a lovely teacher the same age as me and she has the most amazing scoobie doo tights! Wear what you want!!!

There will always be people who feel comfortable being underdressed but thankfully most people appreciate that dress codes are important.

I think most people would agree that dress codes are becoming less and less important. Besides, if you want to impose a dress code, say at a wedding, surely it's wise to state what the dress code actually is. Did the OP mention a dress code for the wedding she's going to? I might have missed it.

I quite like them, much more so than some of the others I’ve see on here.

I don't, won't and never will be a "heel" wearer!! I own 1 pair, which are my wedding shoes, I managed my ceremony/photos before I politely bobbed my flats on.

I wore fancy floral trainers to the last wedding I went to and anything else "formal" I put on a pair of Mary Jane's or boots on.

I think dress codes are incredibly old fashioned now. I think most people realise that.

40s here. I don’t do heels either. I did for my SILs wedding for about an hour but as soon as I could I slipped into our venue accommodation and changed. God the relief! Even on my wedding day I wore comfy winter boots under my dress 🤣

I'm 59, haven't worn heels since my teens, don't even own 1 pair..YANBU.

DMs are such a specific look. There are so many other non delicate black boots that look more refined or just not so hard core. Might you consider different boots.

So when it’s about weddings women should be traditional and feminine but - on any other topic - they should dress without considering the patriarchy and can wear masculine footwear because clothes aren’t about signalling gender/sex 😆 classic mumsnet. Pink DM’s sound lovely and ideal for February.

The only heels I can wear are Clark’s or some sort of low block or a wedge

I love DMs or biker boots with a dress but probably wouldn't wear at a wedding. I usually wear I low heeled court shoe at a wedding. I can't walk in heels and never have.