I always get rejected by less attractive men

[Heyarnold33]

I know this thread will probably piss people off, I'll get accused of being arrogant, a rubbish personality, deluded and all sorts, and that is fine, I'm just sharing my point of view.
I am in my early 30s and generally told I'm very attractive, and I also believe I am. I know it's taboo to admit such a thing, but I believe I am pretty with a nice figure.
We are always told that men go for looks moreso than women. I've never dated a man who was considered incredibly handsome at all, a few of the men I've dated or been into considered themselves unattractive and put themselves down.
I can still get shy with men I like initially, but after seeing them a few times I come out of my shell.
Anyway none of these men seem to have romantic feelings for me. The 2 last serious boyfriends I've had were considered better-looking, not saying Greek gods but people said they were good looking and such.
A few of the other men who've rejected me, I didn't initially fancy them but I came to love their looks as I fell for them as people.
They seemed to be sexually attracted but just didn't get romantic feelings for me, even if we got on great or whatever. They just didn't want me to be their girlfriend. Literally 5 different men over the course of a few years.
It might just be pure coincidence, it might be me. When I was a lot younger I could come across as very keen, I've scaled it back now but I am not someone who plays very hard to get, I like push and pull but I do show my interest because otherwise what's the point.
Some of these men were just very immature, probably most. But makes me realise how little looks matter outside of an initial attraction.. anyone else experienced this?

You're in your early 30s, and I'm sure you're very beautiful, and you must have been even more stunning back in the day. And that's the problem, and I really hate to say this, but you're past your prime. Handsome older men can get a beautiful woman who's 10 years younger than you.

Erm, are you sure about any of that????

Are you subconsciously putting less effort into dating and building a relationship with the men you deem as less attractive?

I can offer some take on this.

Up until 3/4 years ago I was around 8 stone heavier. A size 16-18. Now I’m a size 8 with new boobs (as the weight loss meant I was left with a pair of golf balls in socks on my chest!)

I would say, I got approached more by men when I was bigger. The world teaches us that women who are slimmer get more attention… but I’ve found the opposite to be true.

Perhaps when I was curvier/bigger, I came across as friendlier (the weight loss has made my face look older for sure). But also I wonder if I seemed more relaxed and happy in my skin. I have had men now assume I am “high maintenance” “obsessed with my looks” etc since losing weight simply because I now dress in things that I have always dreamt of wearing whereas before I dressed more for comfort.

The truth is, I’m the same person inside now as I was then and actually now I feel more self conscious because I feel I’m being compared to a size 8 woman who is 10 years younger than me (I’m late 30s), who likely doesn’t have children/baggage/loose skin etc.

I also think that men in their 30s and 40s aren’t wired to rush into relationships because they aren’t feeling the biological push to do so, so they’ll wait for that “spark”… even if that never comes.

What I’m finding through OLD is a number of men in their early 40’s who have no history, children, ex wives etc, and expect to meet a woman who has the same… which is really quite ridiculous.

Utter bollocks. That’s internalised misogyny.
We are not ‘past our prime’ ffs.

If a man doesn’t want me because of my age, I wouldn’t be interested anyway, because I am interested in men who are interested in me as I am.

If that’s true that younger women are queuing up to date younger women, why do so many older men lie about their age on online dating platforms.

Creep more like

Re: the aim to be a ‘Jacqui’ not a ‘Marilyn’ both were treated badly by the Kennedys etc. Jacqui K later O hardly prized in marriage by Kennedy.

I think it is the dating scene today, everyone is disposable, next swipe might be better looking, etc.

You appear to be confusing me with the OP.

You also appear to be making up random shit.
“Anytime an older woman hears a man say something she doesn’t like”? Really? Anytime? So this applies for all the older women does it? Ok 👍🏻 .

You don’t think internalised misogyny is a thing, seriously? I have no words for this…..

@Polydork3355 jyst realised you’re a man. Your opinion on this is utterly irrelevant.

A man who resurrected a year old thread just to attack older women and talk about 'banging' women significantly younger than him. Allegedly.

@Polydork3355 In your dreams aul lad. 😅 delusional. Unless of course you are paying them for the service.

lol. So sad 😂

Ah, I forgot it’s the school holidays!

Well people aren't usually told they are ugly but it doesn't have to be this complicated

And if men are tio immature why would you want one?

Is it subconscious I wonder? I imagine it’s harder to want to date a man you are not attracted to (and this has reduced interest in.)

Ah that explains the stupid misogynistic post.

All these young women flocking to him and yet he’s here….

But this just shows they are not ready for a relationship with you. They haven’t got the confidence/self esteem to think you are on their level, for whatever reason in their head, so if you ask them first they will leap at the chance but the relationship will always be unbalanced. They won’t suddenly gain confidence but will either try and chip away at you to make you “lesser” and bring you to their perceived level, or they’ll break up with you to stop you doing it first (in their minds) or just to find someone else, who doesn’t constantly show up their inadequacies simply by being better looking/educated/travelled etc. It won’t work.

Wait for a man to ask you out, so you can start on an equal level. It shouldn’t have to be this way, but I really believe it is, in most cases.

I think that’s a very good point actually.

This is so true

Trop belle pour toi

I’ve found there are a lot men out there who will go for woman less attractive than them for long term partners. The idea being in their minds, they believe a woman more attractive than them has more options and can’t be put in their place as easily.

Looking back in my late teens/early twenties, I was very attractive. Often got scouted for modelling. Men would very rarely approach me in real life and the ones that did were usually much more attractive than me.

Now I’m in my late twenties, I’ve had a very hard paper round and although slim, my body will never be the same after two c sections. I now get a lot more male attention than I ever did when I was in my early twenties, childfree and beautiful.