To be upset my mum wants to get my wedding photos edited?

[riotlady]

I got married a couple of years ago and we had a really lovely photographer who is old friends with my husband so kindly gave us a discount (still not cheap though, obviously!) and we were really happy with the results.

My parents don’t like having photos up in the house but asked us for a photobook which I said I would sort out, but now they’ve changed their mind and said they want to send a our wedding photos to a family member to edit them for them. Apparently he’s already done one for them to make it “better”, which feels a little rude to be honest. Family member has a photography style that I don’t really enjoy (a little cheesy if that makes sense- the sort where he’ll put everything in black and white but leave a little girls dress pink) whereas our photographer was more of a natural documentary style.

Fair enough that it’s not my parents style and not what they would have chosen, but they’re my wedding pictures and I really like them! It feels a bit disrespectful to our photographer and to us. Initially I said yes that’s fine (as I usually do with my mum) but now I feel quite reluctant about it. Not sure if I’m being precious and I should let them get on with it or if it’s a fair thing to object to.

Tell them to get stuffed!

I don’t see the harm in it really. You still have your version of the photos.

I mean if they are their photos I'd personally leave them to it, however I would think you cheeky sods. But yeah they are their photos now so I'd leave them be in their own little world. I'd certainly make a comment to let them know I think they are being cheeky.

I don't see that it matters.

You can have your version and your parents can edit theirs how they like.

No way would I let a relative have a third party edit photos of me, let alone my wedding photos.

It's bizarre, but I'd let them do it. I'd probably make it clear that you're very happy with them and don't consider the changes that are being made an improvement, otherwise you might end up with them as a gift.

If it makes her happy then I would let her get on with it. You display your own versions.

It is breaking your photographer's copyright for someone else to edit their photos. Check your contract

Depends on your contract ( If you signed one) but this might not be allowed by photographer who took them. 😉

I think if they were just going to have them privately in a book I wouldn’t mind so much, but knowing my mum she’ll be going round showing everyone in the family and my grandma will end up with one of their ones etc etc

Wouldn't the rights to the photos still belong to the original photographer? That might be a way round it if you don't want your mum to do this. I also find it a bit weird.

the contract is a really good point I hadn’t thought of but I don’t think I still have it! It was a paper one and we’ve moved house since. I will have a look though

Can’t see the issue myself, it’s just style, who cares.

My MIL edited mine because she didn’t like the colour of the flowers. Then she presented us with the ‘improved’ version in a frame for Christmas. It annoyed me a lot!

I genuinely don’t see the issue.

Assuming she can do this. Really don’t see the problem.

You have the ones you like and she wants a slightly different style for her house and for her own keep sake.

and so what if other people see hers?

You don’t really need to find it. If you don’t want it to happen, just tell your mum that you’re not allowed 🤷🏼‍♀️

Did your mum have her own copy of the photos? If she did, then I guess she can do what she wants with them.

If she is asking for your wedding album, then I would refuse.

Either way, don't mention it again unless she does, and at that point just say you have given it some thought and changed your mind.

This is something to feel mildly irritated by at most; I don't think you should try to prevent it.They have different taste to you that's all .I can see there might be a problem with copyright but beyond that making an issue sounds a bit patronising and mean.

Tell them your photographer owns the rights to them and other people cannot edit them, thats true for a lot of photographers. Is it just photos of them they want edited or others too? Either way its a bit odd, it was your wedding day! Why try to change it.

No, she had a handful I’ve texted her when we got them but she wants me to send her the digital ones.

@Zombiemama84 its everyone, the whole thing! She wants 100 photos of the whole day

Tell her your sorry your wedding day wasn’t cheesy and sentimental enough for her.

(My SIL, of whom I am very fond, has a massive photo of her wedding day on the living room wall in which she, the groom, three bridesmaids and three groomsmen are all jumping n the air on a beach, printed in black and white apart from the pink bouquets, pink buttonholes and pink ties. She also has one somewhere else in which she’s leading a horse through a stable yard in full 80s wedding meringue dress, and no, she has no interest in horses, it was just another ‘inspired’ idea from Cheese Photographer, when he saw they’d gone from the church to the reception in a horse-drawn carriage.)

I'm with you OP.

I think there's a difference between The Wedding Photos and photos of the wedding.

What you commissioned was a set of photos in a particular style. It's an artistic commission just like a painting.

There will be other pictures taken by guests your dm can have altered etc. But your Wedding Photos should remain as original.

Tell her the copyright prohibits alterations.

That is incredibly disrespectful to the original photographer.

No chance I would let her have them all like that. I might let her have ones of her but that's it

Yes, very disrespectful. Tell her your contract doesn’t permit it.