To be upset my mum wants to get my wedding photos edited?

[riotlady]

I got married a couple of years ago and we had a really lovely photographer who is old friends with my husband so kindly gave us a discount (still not cheap though, obviously!) and we were really happy with the results.

My parents don’t like having photos up in the house but asked us for a photobook which I said I would sort out, but now they’ve changed their mind and said they want to send a our wedding photos to a family member to edit them for them. Apparently he’s already done one for them to make it “better”, which feels a little rude to be honest. Family member has a photography style that I don’t really enjoy (a little cheesy if that makes sense- the sort where he’ll put everything in black and white but leave a little girls dress pink) whereas our photographer was more of a natural documentary style.

Fair enough that it’s not my parents style and not what they would have chosen, but they’re my wedding pictures and I really like them! It feels a bit disrespectful to our photographer and to us. Initially I said yes that’s fine (as I usually do with my mum) but now I feel quite reluctant about it. Not sure if I’m being precious and I should let them get on with it or if it’s a fair thing to object to.

Zombiemama84

Tell them your photographer owns the rights to them and other people cannot edit them, thats true for a lot of photographers.

This is the solution. I would assume copyright by the original photographer and wouldn't bother trying to find the actual contract.

I wouldn't care about this at all. Can't see what harm it does to anyone, other than the copyright issue.

I thought from your title she was going to airbrush out something or someone, not just change the style.

“We like them the way they are, mum. That’s why we picked our photographer not yours. We aren’t keen on so and so’s style. We can send you a few digital prints but I don’t have the time to send you 100 photos to be edited.”

I can't believe so many people are relaxed about this. I wouldn't be happy at all with anyone editing any of my photos, let alone wedding ones. It's a truly bizarre thing to do and incredibly rude

Their picture, their choice really. Perhaps a bit clumsy saying they made it better, but parents are like that sometimes. They may only have a problem if your photographer retains copyright to his work.

It was in the contract for mine that we couldn't edit them

But what's the actual harm? Are people that unbelievably precious about their wedding photos?

Life is far too short to stress about something like this.

Then that would be big fat NO from me.

Don't be hassled into doing something you don't want to do.

Just say no. You are allowed to.

Standard copyright law applies here - he is not legally allowed to edit them without the copyright owner (the photographer)’s permission

I wouldn't give them. They're your wedding photos, you should control how they appear.

Just tell her the contract with your photographer doesn’t allow for them to be edited by others.

you don’t need to actually show her the contract.

And life is too short to be faffing around emailing 100 photos to someone when you don't want them changed anyway.

There's no way in hell any professional photographer would allow their photos to be edited by a third party, photog owns the copyright, regardless of who is in them.

So tough shit mother, you have to make do with the beautiful documentary style.

Your mother sounds like someone who could do with not getting her way for once.

ETA: you don't need to show her the contract, but just tell her you asked snapper for the original digital files and he said no he holds the copyright so won't be supplying for that purpose.

But they'll be in a folder surely? It will take seconds. And it's her mum.

I just can't imagine giving any of this more than 3 seconds of my time and energy

I couldn't get worked up about that tbh. What's the harm?

I'm not sure why it's upsetting unless she plans to photoshop out your husband's face and replace him with a different man...

I get what people are saying about copyright but it's not like the original photographer is going to go round OP's mums' house and sue for some edited photos on the wall

I don't think I'd really like it, because it wouldn't be the look I wanted for my photos.

On the other hand, I'd have got the photo book sorted much sooner so she wouldn't have been waiting and planning edits in her head!

It's weird, for sure, but I could understand it if she wanted some editing done on a photo of herself that she wasn't happy with. But wanting to edit ALL the photos?!

I wouldn't like it either. You obviously can't stop her with the photos she already has, but personally I wouldn't want to send any more on.

This.

Using someone else's work

....or knock on Grandma's door requesting compensation because little Ella's dress is pink in the copy she has on her dressing table.

I was married in 1988....all my wedding photos look ridiculous now. It happens to everyone. When I look back what I see are the people I love who are dead now and the fashion, photography style and hairdos (it was the 80s!!) are totally unimportant.

This is a storm in the tea cup of a long life. If you love your mum and that's what she wants, then hey ho.

Of course there's no actual 'harm' but there's no actual harm in lots of things that people don't want to happen.

The OP is allowed to be irritated by it, people spend hundreds of pounds on their wedding photos and they want them to be a reflection of their style and their day, not some horrible photoshopped version that someone else (who presumably didn't pay for said photos) prefers.

I wouldn't want this either OP & I also can't believe all the people who say they wouldn't be bothered by this..

Just because she's your mum doesn't mean you have to concede to anything she wants. And it doesn't mean you love her any less (as seems to be what's being implied by some posters) if you say no that doesn't work

Send her one or two but be very clear that you don't like this style and don't want anything to do with the end result. She can decorate her house with his handiwork if she wants, but don't get in the position where she thinks she's done you a favour and gifts you copies of the tacky prints.

My DH has a relative who thinks he discovered photoshop - it's so tiresome. Any pictures he "edits" he then gifts on mouse mats, mugs etc. Usually he adds comedy touches, like a cage and "don't feed the animals" on my kids pictures, for example, so at least he isn't pretending to be artistic and better in some way.