To be upset my mum wants to get my wedding photos edited?

[riotlady]

I got married a couple of years ago and we had a really lovely photographer who is old friends with my husband so kindly gave us a discount (still not cheap though, obviously!) and we were really happy with the results.

My parents don’t like having photos up in the house but asked us for a photobook which I said I would sort out, but now they’ve changed their mind and said they want to send a our wedding photos to a family member to edit them for them. Apparently he’s already done one for them to make it “better”, which feels a little rude to be honest. Family member has a photography style that I don’t really enjoy (a little cheesy if that makes sense- the sort where he’ll put everything in black and white but leave a little girls dress pink) whereas our photographer was more of a natural documentary style.

Fair enough that it’s not my parents style and not what they would have chosen, but they’re my wedding pictures and I really like them! It feels a bit disrespectful to our photographer and to us. Initially I said yes that’s fine (as I usually do with my mum) but now I feel quite reluctant about it. Not sure if I’m being precious and I should let them get on with it or if it’s a fair thing to object to.

I would have (I did one for my Granny ages ago) but she kept saying she wanted to choose the photos then didn’t have time to sit and look through them all and choose. My dad was unwell so I think we all forgot about it for a while

That’s awful!

Just forget to send her the files for ages, and then say you can’t find them.

Tell them no the CFS.
They're your photos it was your day they've had theirs and I'm speaking as a parent. I think it's rude and unnecessary.

They want it to look like Schindler's List?! No thanks.

Your original photographer owns the copyright in the photos so you can’t share them with anyone without their permission.

This has really rattled me lol !

Wouldn’t bother me - in my mind their art is their taste but if it bothers you just say so?

I'd roll my eyes at it but just let them get on with it. I don't think I'd be overly bothered.

I’m usually on Team don’t sweat the small stuff but this would annoy me. There will be a copyright issue, but there’s no problem with you saying that you chose the photographer you did for a reason, you don’t like family members style and you don’t want them retouching your wedding photos. It’s unnecessary. If she doesn’t like them then she doesn’t put them up.

It's unheard of for a professional photographer NOT to include copyright in the contract. So you can safely tell your mum that you can't do this.

If her friend is a photographer, they'll know they can't ask for this.

I'd just say that you've checked the contract and the photos can't be edited by a third party so you'll have to say no.

I think you need something to worry about! Who cares!

The wedding was a couple of years ago, so why are they doing this now ? Do they want to present you with the altered ones for an anniversary gift or something?
Tell them you like them as they are. Thanks but no thanks, plus copyright means you can't do this anyway.

I wouldn't really care what someone did with their own set of my wedding pictures, as they, not me, are going to be the ones who are looking at them. The original photos will still exist and you will still have them.

Personally, I loathe cheesy editing like the sort of thing you describe, but as my own set of photos would still be as I wanted them, I wouldn't really care what my mum's set were like... but I would certainly be telling her in no uncertain terms that she wasn't to send the edited versions to anybody else, ever.

However, as other people have said - it's possible that your photographer doesn't allow his work to be used in this way, so do check with him!

Copyright’s a thing. Just tell her she can’t do it.

As they are photos for them to keep I don't see that it matters. You have the originals which are more to your taste. But I expect the photographer will have copyright on the photos so noone can change them
Often at weddings though people take their own photos which could be edited in any way. Are they personal photos she is talking about or the official photographers?

Most professional photographers wouldn't allow this. The digital images are for you

I don’t think so, we don’t really do anniversary gifts in our family unless it’s a really big one! I think it just got left by the wayside for a while- I did my own wedding album and a mini one for my Granny not long after we got the pictures back, my mum wanted to choose some herself rather than me making one for her, but then my dad got ill and we all forgot about it for a while. He’s better now and I’m planning on finally getting a couple of pictures framed for the house and so it got brought up again. The photographer relative lives abroad and visited a few months ago so I assume they talked about it with him then.

I think the copyright issue is my get out of jail free card here so think I will go with that. Talked to my husband about it earlier and he’s not keen to let them be edited either- I’m surprised because I thought he genuinely wouldn’t care

I would fib and tell them you didn't have the digital copies saved, so have asked the photographer to resend - and he/ she has hit the roof and is threatening to sue you.

In all seriousness, if your Mum is likely to show the butchered photos around she could do some commercial damage to the photographer's business. I wouldn't do that to any small business owner, let alone one who is a friend and gave me a discount. Do the right thing!

This is exactly what I was going to say. It wouldn’t be fair on the photographer for someone else to edit their images.

I don't see the issue.

They want digital copies of your wedding photos so that they can curate their own album to their taste / style?

Why shouldn't they do that? Maybe they really liked some photos that didn't make the cut to your album?

I don't think you can 'control' the look & feel of your wedding day once it has past

A professional photographer would normally have retained copyright precisely to avoid this kind of thing - his work being butchered and it affecting his reputation.

Don't do it.

Yes, it would be in breach of copyright. It matters. How would you like it if someone stole your work, butchered it and reissued it - and still with your name on it? The only way round it would be to ask the original photographer if they might be prepared to change some photos - for a fee.

Because you don’t own the copyright. The photographer does.