To be upset my mum wants to get my wedding photos edited?

[riotlady]

I got married a couple of years ago and we had a really lovely photographer who is old friends with my husband so kindly gave us a discount (still not cheap though, obviously!) and we were really happy with the results.

My parents don’t like having photos up in the house but asked us for a photobook which I said I would sort out, but now they’ve changed their mind and said they want to send a our wedding photos to a family member to edit them for them. Apparently he’s already done one for them to make it “better”, which feels a little rude to be honest. Family member has a photography style that I don’t really enjoy (a little cheesy if that makes sense- the sort where he’ll put everything in black and white but leave a little girls dress pink) whereas our photographer was more of a natural documentary style.

Fair enough that it’s not my parents style and not what they would have chosen, but they’re my wedding pictures and I really like them! It feels a bit disrespectful to our photographer and to us. Initially I said yes that’s fine (as I usually do with my mum) but now I feel quite reluctant about it. Not sure if I’m being precious and I should let them get on with it or if it’s a fair thing to object to.

@riotlady microaggression is the wrong word, because it implies that the negative behaviour is as a result of the recipient being part of minority group. Completely get the sentiment of your comment though, it must’ve been so frustrating given it was literally a decision she made.

Wedding Photographer here! It’s in my contract that my photos can not be edited by anyone else. Even if there’s no contract in place the photographer always own the copyright. You must get permission from the original photographer to edit them. If you don’t they could sue you. Their edits are a reflection of their style.

this is essentially about your rights to your own image / likeness. And you do not want your own image to be presented to friends and family in a way you find “cheesy” or unattractive.

I personally find that very understandable.

and no, I wouldn’t agree. It’s also disrespectful to the photographer and (potentially, although that’s probably a bit of a reach in this case) to her professional reputation.

It's YOUR wedding photos- end of. They have no right to alter them to their own style, and would put you in breach of contract with your photographer, so just explain that you don't want them to do that.

Goodness me people are bloody weird, aren’t they? Why on earth would you edit someone else’s wedding photos? 🙄 tell your mum she wants to get out more.

@TheLizardQueen is right, the photographer owns the copyright and their friend should know that.

Lol. He must be a beginner. The black and white with one thing in colour is everybody’s first “thing” when they learn how to edit.

No way would I let a relative have a third party edit photos of me, let alone my wedding photos
I honestly can't see the problem.
Both of you like different styles. So what.
I don't think it's rude, cheeky or whatever.

Give her the phone number of the Photographer so that she can ring them and ask permission

Should be an interesting conversation

Can’t see the problem really
if they had taken their own photos, then they would have taken them in their preferred style, and put them up in their home, so no difference.

To make a proper job of the edit, your mum's friend will need the original RAW files from the photographer. You may well find that he/she won't let you have them due to copyright issues. I wouldn't .... (I do a bit of animal portrait photography as a bit of a side line and don't let anyone mess around with my images!!).

My dad edited a picture of me at my prom (without asking) so I basically looked like a magazine cover. Did wonders for a 16yo’s self esteem 😕

This would annoy me intensely. They’re your photos, of your wedding, and you chose the style of the photos. She can like them or lump them..

Bizarre. I can’t imagine my MIL doing that-she’s just pleased she has a nice picture! It sounds pretty naff and I wouldn’t be happy to have my good photos look like something from B&M.

Your family friend should know he's break the photographer's copyright. Strictly speaking the photographer still owns copyright even though he's sold the photos to you.

Don't let her have them

Same. It wouldn’t bother me at. Everyone’s got what they like - win/win.

Could you say that you can’t do it as you don’t have the copy right to the photos ( that is often held by the photographer)

When I saw the title I thought she wanted to edit out your husband or photoshop someone else in his place ......

"This is what you could've won ."

Sorry but this is hilarious 😂 What goes on in people's minds?!

Email the photographer and explain you can't find your paper copy and you were hoping there was a clause about not editing the photos (due to the reasons you've explained here) and ask if you can have a digital copy.

A friend's mother in law once proudly presented her with an entirely rearranged kitchen - literally everything that wasn't built in, was moved. From the dishes to the microwave. She honestly could not understand why my friend was less than impressed as "but it's so much more practical now."

I thought my friend was going to go into orbit!

Didn't any guests take any pics that she can have "improved"?

I would also get your photographer onside, tell him/her what your DM wants to do and even if you didn't have a contract (unlikely, it seems from other posts) he almost certainly won't agree to what she wants to do.
(So just covering your arse with your DM anyway, especially if she contacts him directly. )

@Pacifybull obviously if copyright /legalities are involved OP should adhere to the contract.

When I got married, my photographer gave all my photos on a disc and I could do whatever I wanted with them.

I mean if OP's mum just wants to make her own album on vistaprint, I don't see any harm in that, even if she changes filters on it a bit.

@Seas164 l laugh about what you mum did. But it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that my mother would want this. Her self awareness is impressively poor, as she loves to tell people “how relaxed she is”, “how she never interferes etc”

@riotlady l would be blocking this move. I think it’s rude and an overstep. Plus the actual photographer may find out