To be upset my mum wants to get my wedding photos edited?

[riotlady]

I got married a couple of years ago and we had a really lovely photographer who is old friends with my husband so kindly gave us a discount (still not cheap though, obviously!) and we were really happy with the results.

My parents don’t like having photos up in the house but asked us for a photobook which I said I would sort out, but now they’ve changed their mind and said they want to send a our wedding photos to a family member to edit them for them. Apparently he’s already done one for them to make it “better”, which feels a little rude to be honest. Family member has a photography style that I don’t really enjoy (a little cheesy if that makes sense- the sort where he’ll put everything in black and white but leave a little girls dress pink) whereas our photographer was more of a natural documentary style.

Fair enough that it’s not my parents style and not what they would have chosen, but they’re my wedding pictures and I really like them! It feels a bit disrespectful to our photographer and to us. Initially I said yes that’s fine (as I usually do with my mum) but now I feel quite reluctant about it. Not sure if I’m being precious and I should let them get on with it or if it’s a fair thing to object to.

Definitely look at the contract, this wasn’t allowed with my wedding photos (wouldn’t have wanted to edit them myself anyway).

The copyright aspect is a subterfuge - it’s you she’s being bloody rude to. They’re your photos which you spent money on (probably a lot of it) and they’re in your style because it was your wedding. No one should do anything with someone else’s professional wedding pictures beyond gratefully receiving them as a gift if they’re given as one, and choosing whether or not to put them on display. She was there on the day - if she wants to start fucking about she can do it with pictures she took herself!

That's different

That's very rude

There's no.way the og photographer would agree to that. They still own the images, and they will.not want some bastardised version of their photos out there with their name.on.

And yes, it's effing rude of your mum.

How would he ever find out? Unless he's a family friend who's going round to OP's mums' house on a regular basis?

Yes, say this.

logically I can see the point of letting her get on with but I wouldn’t like it at all.

Once they’re edited that much there not really pictures of your wedding anymore…. Pictures of a wedding a very different style to yours

@lifeispainauchocolat the photographer is a friend if the grooms. So could very easily find out.

Making a few prints for her private use is probably not a big issue. Presenting her Altered Images (anyone else old enough to get that one?) all over the internet to everyone at the wedding - is a bit odd and I wouldn't be happy with that.
Its a bit like rewriting history, like its not good enough for people to see it through your eyes, as you planned and designed, the way you want to present it.
Everyone has to see it through her eyes. Yes that is rude, especially if your taste is very different from hers. Its like saying your efforts were not good enough, so here is how it really should be done.
Its altering the memory of something that's special to you and riding roughshod over your wishes.

If you do go ahead - make sure your original digital files are saved intact and not permanently edited by accident, because that would be a shame.

TBH if I was her I would've just said can I get digital copies, then privately got them altered to the cheesy style she seems so enamoured with. Telling you was blowing it somewhat. I'd refuse and say she can have a few photo prints from your originals for a book if she likes but that's it. If she wants to make cheesy pics from your photos she'll have to lift them from social media or something.

your parents are mean and act like it's normal. It was your wedding, your ceremony, your time. And I bet you looked incredible!!! I hope you had a great start to your marriage and many congrats. With respect to your parents, tell them you don't want them to touch your photos, they are yours and you'll decide what's best for you. I also love the natural documentary style photos! Your parents are just showing how dated their mindset and taste is.

Good plan to knock this on the head, OP. It's not on. Plus who needs 100 digital images of their wedding day ending up who knows where. Because this relative with photoshop is bound to want to post 'his' handiwork all over social media.

This is what I would do.

If they really wanted the photographs, they would have to approach the original photographer. I can't see that going well for them!

Ooh yes. Good point. Use this as an excuse.

Please tell me you didn’t ageee to the restaging.

Apart from the fact it’s against copyright law!

Is he really likely to go round to his friends' wife's mothers' house, though? I very much doubt it.

I dunno, to me this seems like a lot of drama over nothing, but then my amateur photographer dad did my wedding photos for nothing so maybe I'm not the best person to ask

No way would I let a relative have a third party edit photos of me, let alone my wedding photos
I honestly can't see the problem.
Both of you like different styles. So what.
I don't think it's rude, cheeky or whatever.
Apart from the fact it’s against copyright law!
That would be the only valid reason for me, everything else is just making a mountain out of a molehill.

All those going on about being copyright, I hope you never buy a knock off watch or handbag, lent anyone a cd or dvd,use a chipped fire stick that a mate sorted out for you, etc.

This! And the fact that the photographer is a friend makes it even worse. You could really upset your photographer friend.

How would he find out?

He's OP's husbands' mate. He's hardly likely to go round to her mum's house and see her photos, is he?!

I do not see the issue. She is not wanting to edit your face - that would be rude. Just get a different style of the same photo. It is purely about taste.

going against the wave here, but give them something to do for goodness sake, they clearly dont have much on their hands, and your wedding is a big hobby. many parents are like that, be grateful you have parents who are proud of you, your wedding, are engaged....if a pink edited photo ends up with your granny, and she shows it to her other granny friends, who cares?

sounds too much control freakery to me tbh. if they had taken photos of you on their phone and edited them to there taste what could you have done?

Speak to the photographer. You won't own the copyright, they will.

Given they gave you a reduced rate I hardly think they'll be happy for someone else to tinker with their work and make money from it.

Facebook?

I wouldn’t care - only if they expect you to hang one in your house.

I’d say “Please keep off social media” but I say that about everything anyway.