To not be a guarantor for my sister

[PinkShimmerSparkle]

Even though this means they and their 3 children might become homeless.
My DSis and her DH are not fantastic with money, I always assumed that they made sure that bills, mortgage etc were paid and all their nights out and their regular purchases of new technology, holidays etc were bought from disposable income but in hindsight it is obvious that they were always spending beyond their means, this is none of my business and I absolutely would never get involved or say anything.
They have both been working until recently when her DH left his job, she tells me that they have missed one mortgage payment and have now been issued an eviction notice.
They are looking at renting but everything requires a guarantor and she has asked me and DH to be one, as she knows we both earn and can save every month, but this is only because we are careful with what we spend.
I have said no but feel bad that they might become homeless.
AIBU?

Well done OP, and here's to a peaceful life.

I went NC with my family and it was the best thing I have ever done. No more dramas.

This is sad but also necessary! (The going NC)

You say your parents are retired so can’t help?… but do they own their house or is it rented/council?…. Technically they could become guarantors but rather than their wages they could use their home as insurance… it would mean though that if your immature / irresponsible sister decided to not pay her rent in future that the debt would be accountable from your parents estate…. A HUGE risk…. But one they are seemingly expecting you to take!
If you were guarantor … If they default on rent in the future you’d potentially end up in court as their guarantor having to find thousands of ££’s to cover their unpaid rent… plus court costs! And sorry to say she wouldn’t think twice about putting your parents/you and your children in that position, because she’s done it to her own poor DC!
Maybe your parents can squeeze the whole family into their house? But one thing is for sure, they’re not your responsibility!
If you get any messages from extended family, just respond with a polite … “Hi, quick question in response to your message…. What do you think will happen to me & my family when DSIS doesn’t pay her rent?… like she didn’t pay her mortgage?!”

It's beyond awful and I have the most sincere sympathy for you.

I'm so sorry your parents and sister are so awful towards you.

You have absolutely 💯 done the right thing in going NC. I applaud you.

@PinkShimmerSparkle

They called again this evening and asked why I thought it was ok to leave my sis and her family homeless.

You don't need me to tell you how despicable your "parents'" behaviour towards you is - treating you as a whipping boy for your obnoxious and entitled sister. Thank goodness you and your husband are standing strong together and you've blocked them. Be prepared for other members of your wider family to try and pressure you too - more people for you to go NC with. And, as I said before, they can all get together and offer to bail your sister out can't they?

Wishing you, your husband and children peace for the future. 🌹

Huge well done for handling them so calmly and in your own time and manner. They sound unforgivably toxic and will now have the pleasure of dealing with their golden child and her self-inflicted problems.

Stay strong - you're doing the right thing by protecting yourself and your family from all of them

Stay strong. I had to go NC with my only sister as I just could not bear the mind games anymore. It was really a tough thing to do but my life is so much calmer and I'm not constantly thinking what have I done wrong. It's sad but sometimes you have to make the bold move and look after your own mental health and well being. Your sister will go through life being the same person with zero inner reflection. Bravo!

@PinkShimmerSparkle shocked that even your parents are blaming you for your dear sis's future homelessness!! has your entire family always looked on you as the "Bank of PinkShimmerSparkle"?????? having gone through similar, I went no contact and within a couple of days literally, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders!! bought them new cars, new washing machines, new dishwashers, paid off their debts! everything! never a penny paid back!

To be fair, I would love to bank at a bank called 'PinkSparkleShimmer'.

Sorry, PinkShimmerSparkle - either is fabulous!

You absolutely can be evicted as a homeowner

It's more commonly referred to as repossession. Yes you are removed from the property but it tends to be called eviction if you're renting and repossession if you're a home owner and the processes are different.