To not be a guarantor for my sister

[PinkShimmerSparkle]

Even though this means they and their 3 children might become homeless.
My DSis and her DH are not fantastic with money, I always assumed that they made sure that bills, mortgage etc were paid and all their nights out and their regular purchases of new technology, holidays etc were bought from disposable income but in hindsight it is obvious that they were always spending beyond their means, this is none of my business and I absolutely would never get involved or say anything.
They have both been working until recently when her DH left his job, she tells me that they have missed one mortgage payment and have now been issued an eviction notice.
They are looking at renting but everything requires a guarantor and she has asked me and DH to be one, as she knows we both earn and can save every month, but this is only because we are careful with what we spend.
I have said no but feel bad that they might become homeless.
AIBU?

I think someone made a good point earlier up this thread. Do you have parents she is likely to ask. Not sure of the best way to broach it with them, but you might want to make it clear to them the repercussions of becoming a guarantor. you dont want them being made homeless too or totally broke in their old age.

I was issued with repossession proceedings and had to go to court after missing three months of mortgage payments. That was back in 2012, though.

Absolutely, do NOT be a guarantor and take the eviction notice as evidence things are far worse than they're telling you.

I've been asked a few times to be guarantor for rental by good friends. I've found it easiest to say "sorry I can't as I'm in the process of remortgaging so it would affect my application "

Then they go away and find another solution. Asking you is just the easiest option and I also know people who've been guarantor (for a debt) and ended up being chased for payments etc. Even though the individual was supposedly nice and reliable etc etc

It's not clear are they renting or mortgaged? If the latter it sounds like a load of bollocks tbh.

It's also not that easy to evict someone from a rental, certainly not for one missed payment.

Either way I wouldn't agree to it.

I agree with pp this is too risky! I had a very close friend ask me to be guarantor for her and her husband to rent somewhere while she was pregnant. I considered it but felt really bad by declining.

I think in my position I was thinking that it doesn’t make sense for a single woman to be financial security for a couple if you get what I mean? Like they had each other to fall back on but I had no one!

I’m really glad I declined because the pandemic started a couple of months later and they both weren’t able to work. I assume I’d have had to pay up for at least a few months unless they volunteered to move out? They ended up moving in with family and it seems as if it all worked out.

even if I’d had a partner at the time I still think saying no would’ve been the right thing to do.

Also- why did the husband leave his job? Why should you have to enter into a risky financial arrangement because he chose to leave his job? When does he expect to begin work?

And yeah it doesn’t sound like you’ve got an accurate picture of what’s going on if they’re claiming they’re being evicted for just the one missed mortgage payment.

I kind of suspect it would have ruined the friendship if I’d said yes to being a guarantor as I’d have become stressed and worried about having to pay when they lost their jobs. I had a former flatmate who agreed to be guarantor for her best friend and she said the friend just decided to stop paying so she had to pay nearly 8K in rent payments. The friend never apologised or explained and the friendship was obviously ended.

Sometimes people - even family or close friends - can shock you when it comes to money matters.

God no! Even when people sign fairly short leases, these default to a rolling monthly agreement once the initial lease ends and it takes a while to evict a tenant. You'll end up paying their rent or being on the hook for everything they owe if they default and refuse to move out until legally evicted. This has the potential to ruin you.
There are agencies that will help her, but they will not see her as a priority if you step in - she'll be seen as having a solution and not in dire need.

Nope she's missed more than one payment, the bank wouldn't go to the hastle of evictions and selling the house over just one payment.

She hasn't been paying mortgage so she isn't going to pay rent.

Keep this thread to hand for when she starts to roll out the manipulation or when you feel a pang of guilt over all this.

It's an oxygen mask situation - no point your family going under also.

Don’t do it, I would only ever act as guarantor for my adult children.

^^ This, a thousand times over.

Obviously it's entirely up to you and your DH, but no way on god's earth would I step up as a guarantor for anyone who is financially unreliable and doesn't grasp the basics of living within one's means.

There are only 2 people responsible for the risk of a family of 5 becoming homeless and they are your DSis and her DH.
It is their problem to solve and it may be the kick up the backside that they need to grow up and start living within their means.

Do not help out with being a Guarantor otherwise you'll be putting your own roof over your head at risk.

Under no circumstances should you take financial responsibility for someone who has provably not taken responsibility for themselves. Do you think they'll suddenly become responsible with money and stop living above their means when it's the roof over your head that's at risk this time? Whatever you do do not give in, they will ruin you. If you have parents make sure you warn them against this too.

Don't do it , if it doesn't work out it will destroy your relationship, it sounds to me they have made some bad financial decisions in the past and that probably won't change . They need to sit down and sort through the mess and pull themselves out of it. Is there a budgeting advice service or citizens advice bureau they could get in touch with to point them in the right direction

I’m not going to do it, I‘ve already said no but I am getting a lot of messages etc.
I feel bad, however reading this thread has made me realise she is definitely keeping the whole truth from me.

We do have parents but she won’t have told them anything as one of them is very unwell and she won’t want to add to that stress, He has his parents too but I don’t know them so I don’t know if they can/would want to help.

All I know is he left his job because of some sort of disagreement, he does work in a profession that I see jobs advertised a lot near me, I assume the same near them but again don’t know for sure, I have looked on indeed and there are a few available. She says he is applying but no one is responding, he absolutely does not like not working so I’m sure she is telling the truth in regards to applying.

Why did your BIL leave his job?

As others have said, you won't be evicted after not paying one month. Something is going on that they're not facing up to.

Have they bought expensive things in the last year?

But if you're behind with your mortgage payments you make sure you don't do anything that will make you leave your job, surely?

In addition to the various good points already made, it's my understanding that once you've signed as guarantor, you're pretty much stuck with that commitment until they give up the tenancy. So your relationship with them might change, their financial circumstances or behaviours might change and you're still on a hook you can't get off. Also note that the landlord/agent may only come to you to fulfill your obligations when many months of arrears have already built up. So by the time you even realise there is a problem, it may have gone well beyond what you can absorb without severe consequences to your circumstances.

You are putting yourself at massive risk that you will have no control over once you've signed the agreement. Do not do it.

This. Sister is lying to you if she has told you they have only missed one mortgage payment. I would MAYBE be a guarantor for one of my children if it was an amount I was prepared to give away - though I would be more likely to just give them the money. No way would I be a guarantor for someone who you KNOW will land you in it. I recommend watching 10 episodes of Judge Judy to anyone thinking of being a guarantor or co-signer for anyone, for anything.

A lot of unscrupulous landlords will tell overseas people to get a homeowner to "just sign" this to say that you are good for the rent.

I've had few overseas students staying as airbnb guests in my home, and have had one or two bringing guarantee forms home, and asking me to sign them so that they can rent a room or a flat.

I do believe that they don't understand what they are asking me to do, but I soon enlighten them!!!

No, you are right to step right away from this.

People need to stand on their own feet, or they’ll just keep making the same mistakes.

And agreed; this doesn’t happen anywhere as nearly as quickly as they are saying.

Is it a good idea to become a guarantor for a pair of spendthrift, workshy liars?

No.

I would never do that. The pair have been irresponsible and not kept up with their mortgage payments and are then lying to you again. I wouldn’t act as a guarantor for anyone, let alone someone hiding the truth from you, imagine how worse this could get

Do NOT do it!

They are financially irresponsible, her husband sounds chronically workshy, don’t let them drag you down.

And she is lying about the mortgage. I used to work in mortgages, there’s no way a bank would be repossessing after one month’s missed payment. More likely that they got into arrears, made an arrangement, failed to stick to it, and now the bank is moving onto legal proceedings.

Surely the banks, after much legal action and other paperwork can only move to "REPOSSESS" a property, but only a landlord can issue an Eviction Notice"?

Sounds suss to me.

If the bank is repossessing, then your sister and family are at the end of a very long process. The council will surely have to house them if they are homeless as a result.

I would be very wary of being guarantor in this case. Be careful.

"I'm sorry but we'd not be in a position to help if anything went wrong. I know you're saying nothing will but things can happen and we could end up with big debts and it would be awful for everyone and you'd still get evicted"

Repeat ad infinitum...

Or just take Mumsnet wisdom. NO. is a complete sentence