£108 on his soft drinks every month

[Rainbowsworms]

I've been going through our expenditures today after realising how much money was going out of the account every month. I haven't kept a close eye on outgoings - I will own that. I have ADHD and it's not my strong point.

I have calculated that DP is spending £108 per month on his drinks alone.

He refuses to drink water/juice/cordial and moans when there's no fizzy pop, so he insists on buying a big bottle of lemonade from the corner shop most days at £2 a go, so thats £60 per month.

If that wasn't bad enough, he has atleast one Monster energy drink every night. They cost £1.60 so £48 per month.

£108 per month on fucking drinks.

AIBU to think that is bloody ridiculous.

dh was the same, and with protetin yoghurt we worked out he was spending 1.3k a year just on his treats! He's cut right down to fizzy only when out and one yoghurt a day

It sounds ridiculous to me. £108 a month on crap. It's £1300 a year. It's a lot if money and really wasteful.

The problem is not just the over-consumption of deeply unhealthy sugary drinks, but the spending his monthly wages in less than two weeks.

Stop giving him your card.

I would worry about your future dentist bills!

I couldn’t live with this to be honest… from a health perspective I find it really really sloppy to drink fuzzy pop as an adult. If I went on a date with someone and they had a monster energy drink I wouldn’t go on a second date 🤣 this would give me the ick. I’m aware that makes me sound precious but honestly I just couldn’t be with someone who had shit standards for their health! Does he have any health issues?? If he doesn’t now he probably will later. Also the money is a mega waste and for what- do you can be ill/unhealthy/see the dentist more?? X

Wow, I drink coffee, wine and gin - if my dh dictated I couldn’t drink those anymore despite me being an adult with my own mind I’d be seriously looking at our relationship. He’s an adult. If you are concerned about health then have a conversation, if you need to save money, have a conversation, but dictating what an adult eats or drinks? Nope.

He needs to sort out that little addiction. I worked with someone who drunk energy drinks and fizzy drinks so much her other half has banned her from bringing into the house.

I drunk about 4-6 litres a week, I've stopped completely and my health is so much better.

Does he also have ADHD? I spend an ungodly amount each month on cola because I need the caffeine to function. Not because I have a caffeine addiction but because caffeine works the same as stimulant ADHD medication so it helps my brain cope.

If he’s buying these drinks each day, buying a month’s worth in bulk might actually be helpful in making him realise how much he gets through. I wonder if seeing 30 big bottles of lemonade and 30 cans of monster will be a bit of a shock to him.

I'm dictating as far as the price, because it's not just his money he's spending on it. It's mine too. Why should I pay for his premium lemonade and energy drinks?

I don't think it's unreasonable to say; buy the cheaper lemonade in bulk as part of the weekly shop.

I also don't think it's unreasonable to express concern about the amount of energy drinks he has. It's a heart attack in a can. He has children whom he has a responsibility to remain reasonably healthy for.

I'm not saying he can't have those things, but I won't pay for it any longer as is.

OP's funding DH's sugar drink addiction half the month, she can certainly stop subsidising it.

His teeth must be horrendous.

Fair play to you though for addressing the finances. Don't let him take advantage of you

Squash or juice + cold sparkling water is good.

The amount of money wasted is ridiculous, and on a product that ruins your health, no less. Could have spent that money on a gym membership and still had half left over.

It’s too much to spend if his money doesn’t stretch to the whole month.
And it’s incredibly unhealthy.
Stop subbing him, make sure bills are divided fairly and suggest he drinks fizzy water or water with a bit of fruit in it if he can’t take straight water.

You can get a diabetes dip test at the pharmacy i believe

couple things
he need to manage his chaotic spending so he doesn’t run out of money & tap you up. He will never change his habits if you let him spend your money when he rips through his own wages in 1.5 week
if your finances are separate don’t allow him to top up with your individual money
he can buy in bulk but chose not to, that’s poor money management
Thats a gargantuan amount of carbonated drink and bad for physical health and dental health. Not to mention the over stimulation and sleep disturbance

I don't think he has no.

You'd be better off putting more into a joint account. Legally you're not supposed to let anyone have your card. Since you earn more you should be paying a higher percentage of bills so you have same spending money, but then Id leave him to balance his own and if he runs out be runs out.

ETA: sorry just saw you already pay more. Your plan moving forward sounds good, I'd probably throw in own brand type energy drinks. Aldi for example has a cheaper one.

Here is my suggestion for managing finances:

Have a joint current account, and a current account each.

Work out what all household and child bills are - all bills, food, cleaning, childcare, child clothes, school dinners, child activities, Christmas, birthday presents from you both to wider family, holiday, etc. Add it all up based on a year.
Consider a joint savings account for annual things like Christmas, holidays, and child's birthday - put a bit in each month from the joint current account - set up an automatic transfer.

Work out what you should each pay into the current account, to cover what you just calculated - based on what you each earn. For example, if you earn 2000 and he earns 1500, then you put in 200 for every 150 he puts in.

Personal spending you each pay out of your own accounts. You need to decide if phones and cars will be personal or joint. His work lunches should come out of his own account, but if he wants to take a packed lunch instead that comes out of the weekly food shopping.

Then if he blows all his money on fizz and crisps, that is his problem.

An alternative method is to both pay into the joint leaving you both with equal personal money - e.g. you both put all your income into the joint except 200 each. This means that the higher earner doesn't end up with more spending money.

If you can't trust him to pay into the joint on time, then both get your salaries paid straight into the joint and then transfer out your personal allowance.

I already do pay a much higher percentage of the bills than he does.

Sorry, but s partner who can't control his finances is bad enough, but an adult drinking bucket loads of pop and energy drinks? Full on ick.

Hope he changes his ways after your chat, op.

How on earth do some people manage to reach adulthood (parenthood!) without having a clue how to keep themselves healthy?

Seeing that you are funding him for more than half the month, I'd consider this financial abuse.

Drinking this much sugary 'pop' is childish. And sets a terrible example to the children.

Not to mention the health implications - teeth, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer... Living with these complications is horrible - and he is unlikely to live to a ripe old age.

Some great advice here thank you. I appreciate everyone taking the time to brain storm with me.

I presume that you're not rinsing through your disposable income in the first ten days of the month and then taking your OH's bank card to the corner shop to buy gin and peanuts for the remainder.