£108 on his soft drinks every month

[Rainbowsworms]

I've been going through our expenditures today after realising how much money was going out of the account every month. I haven't kept a close eye on outgoings - I will own that. I have ADHD and it's not my strong point.

I have calculated that DP is spending £108 per month on his drinks alone.

He refuses to drink water/juice/cordial and moans when there's no fizzy pop, so he insists on buying a big bottle of lemonade from the corner shop most days at £2 a go, so thats £60 per month.

If that wasn't bad enough, he has atleast one Monster energy drink every night. They cost £1.60 so £48 per month.

£108 per month on fucking drinks.

AIBU to think that is bloody ridiculous.

Ridiculous. Why is he having energy drinks in the evening?

If he spends all his money/your money as you are married in that short time it needs to be addressed I would be asking questions as why and were it goes first and then stop it all its way to much to drink 10 cans aday he has an addiction limit it to 20 then lower it

If he is buying so much it is ridiculous not to buy in bulk or from supermarkets to get the best price you can.

Apart from the expense it probably as bad as alcohol, like pouring pure sugar into his liver-he’s probably got a fatty liver, if it’s full sugar 😩

SO you are saying that YOU are paying for his addiction - because that is what it is. Even if he is lazy and buying wherever, then you are possibly talking about 2 monsters a day, but that is far too much.

It is possible that because most places stock the cans, he drinks a whole one at a time, but now there are something called a "bottle can", which is closable.

Have a word and warn him that if he runs out of money because of his selfish spending then you are not going to subsidise him at the expense of HIS children.

Could you perhaps, do as some have suggested, and buy some really cheap/bulk drinks for a month and tell him that he can use these and you will help out if he can prove it is not his habit that is causing him to run out of money?

My DH drinks a lot of pop, but it was he who switched from Pepsi Max to the 80p for 2 litres Tesco pop. (He does have a very big thirst due to diabetes and sugar free pop is his luxury, and we can afford £10 a month).

It's not good for him but my husband buys his pop from Aldi. Its dirt cheap. Rubbish but cheap.

Everyone should read Ultra Processed People! We are killing ourselves, our children and the planet.

I’m sorry but I find this shocking how normalised this sort of food/drink is in your life. All of the things you’ve mentioned are terrible!!

I don’t - I think slushies and floats are a bit silly for adults and ONLY drinking pop would give me the ick. Sometimes drinking pop and milkshakes is totally fine and normal.

You're not half as smart or witty as you think you are.

I work full time and earn too much to qualify for universal credit, although my disabled child does receive DLA, so do tell us all about the disdain you have for disabled and poor people who receive assistance from the state. Do you work for Warrickshire Council by any chance?

Fuck off back to 2002, or should I say 1960.

I'm not in debt whatsoever.

He regularly goes into his overdraft. That isn't reflective of the total household income. I earn substantially more than he does.

Tell him to suck it up and go to poundland, they do bottles of drink way cheaper. Buy them in bulk. My partner is the same

I'd get your card back off him. If he's so irresponsible with money that he lives off you for the majority of the month I'd teach him a lesson. Have a joint account for the household that you both put an equal amount of money into. Pay as many bills as possible by DD from the account. You need to have complete control of the account. Any money you have left in either of your personal accounts is yours but once he's spent his you don't give him any money. Make him realise that he needs to budget. You bailing him out every month is letting him buy what he likes. He's an adult so he should be able to do it. If he's old enough to have a family he's old enough to sort his finances. He sounds more like a teenager relying on his mum when he runs out of pop money. You sound as if you already resent this about him so try and nip it in the bud. If you don't your resentment will only get worse and destroy your relationship. Good luck.

I easily spend £100 on diet decaf coke… but I don’t smoke, vape or drink alcohol, don’t get nails or hair done etc… so to me if I want to drink fizzy as my pleasure then that’s my business…. As long as no one else in the house is going without necessities then it’s fine!…
I find it irritating that he’s criticised for this… if he turned round and said you spent £X on hair, nails makeup etc he’d be shot down in flames as a controlling prick

Yes, sorry, I meant he's in debt.

But he's using OPs money to fund this. At least he is once his money runs out each month. So it is affecting others.

It's ok to say "this is my one vice" but only if you're funding it yourself, surely?

I'm sure OP wouldn't want him to be telling her what to spend, but then she'd be using her own money so of course can control how it's spent. Her partner is using his own money on these unnecessary expenditures (even buying bulk lemonade from Tesco would save him a lot of money) and then scrounging off her the rest of the month.

He runs out of money after 1.5 weeks and then has to rely on the op for money.

Yes just read all her updates. Getting through £800 of his own money in 2 weeks is excessive.
anyone should be able to survive on £200 a week.
Maybe he should take packed lunches to work if he can’t manage on his money.

I don't think you can reasonably tell him what he can and cannot drink because you earn more than him.

Yes, because I and this person's family are the only ones buying it. We are all personally keeping Pepsi and Coke afloat.

Literally everything you've said is either incorrect, or terrible advice.

Get SodaStream & he can mix the fizzy water with squash or with the things like Papsi Max or 7Up syrups they do to go with the machines. Much cheaper.

someone that drinks a ton of soda is not going to go cold turkey. How is my telling them to drink less and explaining how my dad used to drink a lot but now drinks less incorrect or terrible advice? Your own doctor will tell you to drink less if you aren't going to stop completely.

Obviously it’s pretty clear that you and the OP’s partner aren’t the only customers of fizzy drinks manufacturers. But you seem very very blasé about them. Even if 70% of the human race buys and drinks them; they’ll still be very very bad for peoples’ health. It’s irrelevant how many other people are buying them; it’s still horrendously bad for you. It’s so dangerous to normalise these types of drinks/food.. I think it’s been mentioned up thread but the best seller Ultra Processed People is a really good informative read.

everything is bad for you without moderation. I suggested ways to reduce consumption and explained how my dad reduced his consumption. This is why people get upset. Others try to take steps to eat and drink in a healthier way and people like you come along and tell them how they aren't good enough. We all know that daily consumption is bad for you. we also know that people do better reducing intake until it is a treat and not a daily thing and going cold turkey rarely works. And no one needs self-righteousness from strangers, who know nothing about them, on their journey.