£108 on his soft drinks every month

[Rainbowsworms]

I've been going through our expenditures today after realising how much money was going out of the account every month. I haven't kept a close eye on outgoings - I will own that. I have ADHD and it's not my strong point.

I have calculated that DP is spending £108 per month on his drinks alone.

He refuses to drink water/juice/cordial and moans when there's no fizzy pop, so he insists on buying a big bottle of lemonade from the corner shop most days at £2 a go, so thats £60 per month.

If that wasn't bad enough, he has atleast one Monster energy drink every night. They cost £1.60 so £48 per month.

£108 per month on fucking drinks.

AIBU to think that is bloody ridiculous.

If you have separate finances then I’d say that he can buy whatever he wants with his money (obviously once he’s paid his share of any bills/joint savings).
But once that money runs out he doesn’t get to use your money to buy more stuff, if that means that he only has enough money for fizzy drinks for the first couple of weeks each month then that’s all he gets (or he needs to find a way to buy them cheaper- the corner shop probably isn’t the best option).
They’re obviously not very healthy but he’s a grown adult so that’s his decision.

Lots of walkers crisps! Eldest DC has autism and will only eat a limited amount of things, one of which is crisps.

I buy the tesco branded multi packs when I go shopping every week but DS goes through them in no time, at which point DP gets branded ones from the corner shop. Of course DS now prefers walkers...

I'm putting a stop to this corner shop lark.

How is that separate finances?!

You need to start buying in bulk online.

Forty quid per month will get you an insane amount on diet pop.

That is just so disgusting. He is heading for a heart attack or diabetes or teeth rot 🤢

Well tesco own brand lemonade is 60p so that would save you £42 a month right there. Probably even cheaper in aldi/lidl. Not sure about the monster drink though - apart from it being a strange thing to drink at night - doesn’t it keep him awake? could you suggest he looks to cut down as you are worried about the sugar/caffeine - maybe to 3 or 4 a week in the first instance? Could you bulk buy at the beginning of the month and when it’s gone it’s gone?

He’s ruining his stomach and esophagus.

DH also has a thing for fizzy drinks. I buy the 7UPs at Tesco on offer at £6 for 24 cans and he has one or two a day max.

He's often in his overdraft yes. I don't have one.

I have around £1k more coming in pm. I say around, as it varies. That is the average.

I'm not too bad with money despite the ADHD, I'm fairly careful with it (just crap at actually achecking the bank)

What is YNAB? I'll look it up in a sec.

Are u worried about the finances or his health? Both sound pretty shit.

He's going to regret this 10 years down the line

You need to sort your finances out. He should not running out of money after 1.5 weeks and putting everything on your card.

I would say compared to smoking or drinking alcohol that is not too expensive a habit. Though very unhealthy and not a good example to DC and of course it has to be afforded, which it sounds like it may not be.

Buying from the corner shop will not be good value but may be a form of rationing

2 litres of fizzy pop a day + though. Never mind the cost.

So you currently just give him your bank card to go to the corner shop on a daily basis so he can spend your money on crap??

I earn more than he does as he's a low earner and it feels a bit, I don't know, wrong, to see him with no access to money for 2.5 weeks of the month. He needs phone credit, lunch at work etc (all of which he should budget for - I know)

People tend to think of most of the income as family money so I guess that's how I've seen it.

He’ll be spending an absolute fortune or his teeth down the line once that expensive habit catches up with him.

Not that tight no, as in we're not going to starve, but I've definitely began to feel the cost of living impact and want to save money where possible.

I have a family member on kidney dialysis now because of this exact thing, good luck he's gonna need it.

It's not really is it?

It was at one point but then I let him start taking my card so I can't really say that anymore.

Both 😔

That level of sugar and caffeine isn't healthy. If it was beer you would be speaking to him about it. This should be no different. He has young kids. He should do why he can to make sure he will be around to see them grow up.

Those monster drinks are bad news.

Does he only earn £200 a month? Because if he doesn't, then I don't think focusing on cutting his drinks budget is going to improve your family finances. You need to properly separate your finances as at the moment he operates on the principle "first I spend mine, then WE spend yours". Have a joined pot for bills and children's needs, then each spends their own money. None of this "he will use my card" business. I am sure pretty soon after that he will be able to make smarter financial choices.

I hope he’s saving double that for dental bills!
In all seriousness he’s heading for a clearance! I hope the NHS doesn’t bail him out (unlikely!) and he enjoys his full dentures. Good thing is they don’t rot.

I'm a lot more concerned about his health than the expenditure! That sounds really unhealthy.

If he can't take it upon himself to budget, then he needs to give you his money when he gets paid every month, and you can give him a weekly allowance to cover his actual necessities plus a fair level of spending money.

Unfair on you but then at least you won't be funding his crazy spending habits.