£108 on his soft drinks every month

[Rainbowsworms]

I've been going through our expenditures today after realising how much money was going out of the account every month. I haven't kept a close eye on outgoings - I will own that. I have ADHD and it's not my strong point.

I have calculated that DP is spending £108 per month on his drinks alone.

He refuses to drink water/juice/cordial and moans when there's no fizzy pop, so he insists on buying a big bottle of lemonade from the corner shop most days at £2 a go, so thats £60 per month.

If that wasn't bad enough, he has atleast one Monster energy drink every night. They cost £1.60 so £48 per month.

£108 per month on fucking drinks.

AIBU to think that is bloody ridiculous.

You need to get him to be better with money. Maybe he should take it out in cash so he can physically see it?

or he breaks it up into a weekly allowance but he shouldn’t be spending all his money without account for the necessities first.

also he can get a phone contract for £8 a month which is cheaper than credit I imagine.

And I go mad at the kids because we get through 6 Lidl bottles of pop a week ... that's less than 3 quid 😅

He's got £800 of disposable income after bills and he's wittering that away in ten days and then moving onto your money for the rest of the month?

That's a shit tonne of Walkers Crisps OP.

FFS!!! If you give him your card 2.5 weeks out of the month .... well hell mend you, as my mother used to say.

So you pay more of the bills.
he burns through £800 in 10 days.
then has feee access to what’s in your bank account?

What does he spend the rest of the £700. It’s not paying a bit of his overdraft back and walkers crisps.

and then how much of your money does he spend?

Sounds like he has cheap bills and tons of disposable income. And nothing to show for it.

£800 in TEN DAYS.
with nothing to show for it? You need to yank that card back.

he needs to learn to budget, he is frittering his money then asking you to pay his daily lunch. Very ridiculous behaviour.

£200 a week should more than cover his daily costs.

id be absolutely fuming.

His teeth must be awful

I'd be wondering if he already has diabetes. Maybe get some 'pee on a stick' tests from the chemist.

I only wonder because this was exactly the symptom my dad started to display when his diabetes began to get out of control. He was self-medicating with sweet fizzy drinks.

I have to agree with this, if an grown man can't survive without fizzy and energy drinks then at least he should get them from the supermarket rather than going to the corner shop like a child who has no other options

Could he take a packed lunch to help with paying off the overdraft ?

He’s a grown adult, he can drink what he wants but Jesus go to Costco or something

£800 frittered in 1.5 weeks? Wow... many people would love that spending power in a month.

I'd stop giving him your card. He isn't accountable for what he's spending that way. Make your accounts balance by cutting down his bill payments or transferring him money. Make him account for what he spends.

In terms of the crisps - with an asd child you might need to hide stuff out of the way if you want to keep things back from the weekly shop if teaching your child to budget his crisp allowance over the week is not achievable. But clearly dad needs to get on board with that one.

He should have around £800 left after paying his O/D and share of the bills. I questioned whether he was gambling at one point as I couldn't understand why it was running out so quickly. He isn't, gambling that is, just paying back his overdraft and wittering the rest away on endless trips to the shop and whatever else.

Op, this just doesn't make sense. No one spends £80 a day in the corner shop.

Seriously, what does he spend £800 on in 20 days every month?

Honestly! Do you even find him attractive? It would be such a zipper for me!

If you are subbing him surely make more sense to buy 7 bottles of 2l of fizzy at weekly shopping so 47p each if Aldi

Then buy more cheaper crisps and hide some so don't run out /eat them all and end up buying cost or branded at local shop

I would not put up with this. Calculate that cost over a year…. Are you really prepared to pay out approx £1200 a year on fizzy drinks?!
Firm no from me, sorry. I like to spend money, but not fritter it away on absolute shite

Honestly OP, I'd sit down and have a serious review of your monthly budget with him. It sounds like you both really need to put some controls in place. Work out what you need for bills, food etc. and see what you have left for personal spends to last the entire month. If he runs out of his share because he's buying lots of fizzy pop in the most expensive way, then that's his doing. He doesn't need lunch money btw, sure he can take a packed lunch. And phone credit - put enough for a month on at the start of the month (or get voxi or similar sim on a month by month contract if he can). And stop giving him your card.

You should not allow him to use your card for the rest of the month. He's supposed to be an adult and budget his own money not just take yours. I'd not tolerate that behaviour.

No nutritional value in crisps so I'd stop those too.

You can get a big bottle of Tesco lemonade for something like 50p. I get the next range up which is 70p and lovely. Coke is 60p. Switch to a cheaper alternative.

Your partner appears to be immature, irresponsible and abusing your financial position. He has learned nothing from years of education, has no willpower and is incapable of being an independent adult.

COCKLODGER

i had this with dh - 1 can of coke a day for work plus 1 redbull (which i buy in bulk so cheaer) PLUS he was having a lucazade thingy which was £3.50 for 4 bottle and having 2 a day!
i refuse now to let him have the lucazade (and bought him water bottles for hoime squash) but i see he bloody buys a coffee in Mcd;s most days (but not food)
pee's me off - wee'ing money down the loo

You can't just withdraw one of the few things an autistic child will eat. Autism doesn't care about nutritional value. He already doesn't eat enough as it is.

To everyone else, I'm making notes. Thank you. There will be changes made. I have spoken about this with him this evening alongside discussing it on here and strong words were had.

In summary I said:

No more daily trips to the shop with my card.
We will buy a bulk lot of cheaper lemonade with the weekly shop, and no more.
If he wants energy drinks then he's to budget for them when he gets his own wages as I'm not paying for them for him.

I'm thinking of opening a second account that we both put money into, for family things, so he doesn't have access to my own money at all.

About the energy drinks.. I hate it, but he will not be told. He's addicted to them, atleast in the psychological sense.

A poster mentioned diabetes.. I wouldn't be surprised. He's had a few instances of feeling shaky and though he needs sugar, when he hasn't had any. Unfortunately this is a man that won't go to a doctor until he is dragged there unconscious so there's nothing I can do about that. That's a whole other thread.

Seriously, if he is craving sugary drinks, he may have diabetes. He should get checked out.

I've told him that so many times. He doesn't go to the doctor for anything.