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AIBU?

To make DD return stolen item?

189 replies

Coffeehelpsmebemum · 05/02/2024 12:49

We stayed in a hotel recently. I've since found that my DD (autistic DD) has taken (stolen) one of the hotel room key cards even though it says that they need to be returned when checking out as they are reused for future customers/guests. DD says that she kept it because she "likes it" and "wants to keep it". I think she should return it/post it back to the hotel but DH says I'm "overreacting" because it is just a hotel room key card. AIBU to make DD return this stolen item?

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Am I being unreasonable?

574 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
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You are NOT being unreasonable
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ollypollymolly · 05/02/2024 18:14

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Muchof · 05/02/2024 18:18

Galatine · 05/02/2024 18:12

Your fourteen year old has stolen something, (the value is irrelevant), and you are arguing the toss with her about retiring it? Try being the parent that you should be and make her return it, or take it from her and return it yourself.
The fact that she is autistic has nothing to do with it. she still needs to learn right from wrong!

Did you miss the bit that this is a hotel room key?

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Muchof · 05/02/2024 18:21

Coffeehelpsmebemum · 05/02/2024 14:33

Yes I am but I believe strongly that DD needs to understand that stealing is not ok.

It’s not stealing!

Why don’t you take some notice of the feedback you have been given, because all you are going to do is ensure your daughter has a warped twist on reality as you have. Seriously you need help.

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Atethehalloweenchocs · 05/02/2024 18:44

Its a key card, so not a massive deal. But you mentioned her Autism. How is she with understanding right and wrong usually? Some people on the spectrum are really good at this, some not so much. And it may be that her ASD is not really an issue here. But in general, she needs to understand that you cant just keep things you like, so I would probably lean towards sending it back.

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Lifeinlists · 05/02/2024 18:48

I'm worried about that ikea pencil nowBlush

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Notchangingnameagain · 05/02/2024 19:07

Of course stealing isn’t ok.

But SOME people with ASD are very impulsive and can’t actually help it.

See it, want it, take it.

Be careful how you explain this as it may become something far bigger.

Stealing can become more frequent but hidden.

My child is a thief. It becomes very, very difficult to manage.

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themusingsofaninsomniac · 05/02/2024 19:25

My partner has a habit of collecting them.. return one, keep the other!

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tommika · 05/02/2024 21:07
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Coffeehelpsmebemum · 05/02/2024 21:30

I've decided to let DD keep it in the end but I have spoke to her and explained that in future she can't just take things without asking.

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Soupsetscared · 05/02/2024 21:34

Why don't you phone the hotel and explain that it wasn't returned by accident.
Then ask if your dd could keep it as a souvenir.

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Coffeehelpsmebemum · 05/02/2024 21:59

Soupsetscared · 05/02/2024 21:34

Why don't you phone the hotel and explain that it wasn't returned by accident.
Then ask if your dd could keep it as a souvenir.

I have let DD keep it now but I have explained to her that in future she can't take things without asking etc.

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defiant2024 · 05/02/2024 22:00

Let her have it. It just doesn't matter.

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TheBossOfMe · 05/02/2024 22:08

I’ve asked hotels if I can keep them before (I know, I’m a weirdo!) and they’ve always always said yes. It’s like collecting matchbooks used to be.

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TheChosenTwo · 05/02/2024 22:12

I’d have said it needs to be returned purely so she can see that it’s not good to take things. They might agree to let her keep it but it’s not her decision to just take things because she likes them.
At the end of the day it’s not the crime of the century 😂

mind you, I’m literally just leaving the house with dd to return a traffic cone her dumbass friend brought round for her (god knows where he got it from but it’s been taking up valuable space in her small room for too long now) - he shouldn’t have taken it in the first place and if we knew where he lived we’d be leaving it on his doorstep! Technically it’s fly tipping because we are just planning in on leaving it at some roadworks nearby without knowing if it’s the same roadworks he found it…. Hopefully they’ll be grateful to have one extra 😤

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