To make DD return stolen item?

[Coffeehelpsmebemum]

We stayed in a hotel recently. I've since found that my DD (autistic DD) has taken (stolen) one of the hotel room key cards even though it says that they need to be returned when checking out as they are reused for future customers/guests. DD says that she kept it because she "likes it" and "wants to keep it". I think she should return it/post it back to the hotel but DH says I'm "overreacting" because it is just a hotel room key card. AIBU to make DD return this stolen item?

How can it not be stealing if you take something on purpose knowing it's not yours to take?

Well there you are - she didn’t realise it ‘needed’ to be returned. It’s not something any of my children would have thought of at that age. I don’t think of it myself usually while leaving a hotel with luggage. If it’s in my hand - I’ll drop of it off but have never thought twice about if the cards are brought home.

When I was young we collected beer mats from pubs as souvenirs. Stealing?

Of course you haven’t been charged for a key card! Have you never been to a hotel before or something? Loads of key cards are not returned and there will be an expectation that cards won’t be returned, will be damaged. DH has always said he wanted to create a montage of our more unusual / special hotel key cards, although thankfully he hasn’t s far. This thread and the responses are bat shit.

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Lots of people, me included,have taken them away, usually accidentally. They're of next to no value to the hotel.

Just tell her not to take things again and stop the family drama. I'm sure she's not starting a life of crime!

Hotels don't charge for key cards. They must lose hundreds every year.

Phone the hotel and explain the situation and ask how much a replacement card would cost them. (probably less than the stamp to return it). Offer to get your daughter to reimburse them for the card and if, as is likely, they say don't bother say you will tell her to donate an equivalent amount to the local foodbank or other charity. Deduct the cost from your DD's pocket money. Then she gets to keep the card but learns the lesson that you can't just take what you want.

You mean she could grow up to be a bank robber?

This.

I want DD to return it but DH doesn't agree.

It was from a posh hotel while on holiday but I don't think that is a good enough reason for DD not to return it. It'll have to go back via air mail as it's from overseas while on holiday.

My god seriously this is ridiculous. Who cares?! It’s a key card - they have thousands

Now you're just being silly.

I have loads of key cards, some I keep as memento especially if they have the date and our names on.

I agree to make a point that she shouldn’t just take something that doesn’t belong to her, but imagine for a child they saw it as a keepsake from a lovely holiday. Maybe just make sure she checks with you in the future about things like this, things that are a bit ambiguous. They obviously aren’t going to start stealing big things from hotels/shops if they’ve never done it before.

Yesterday Hotel Key Card ... today some sweets from a shop .... tomorrow??

Yes, make her return it. It's not about the value of the item. It's about not taking things because she likes them.

Maybe DH is right and I'm overreacting but I feel it's stealing and DD can't just steal things because she likes them.

How can it not be stealing if you take something on purpose knowing it's not yours to take?

The DD said she didn't realise she couldn't keep it.

I also just don't consider this theft. Maybe it is technically but nobody is going to jail or to court for stealing a room card, so 🤷‍♀️

Could you email the hotel and explain what happened. If they say don't worry keep it, then you can show your DD and say she's allowed to keep it because you asked permission. If they want it returning then you can explain why, and show her the email. That teaches her a lesson on taking things, and also will give her a visual response she might understand more?

It's not about whether or not it's something that mattered, it's about teaching her that you don't take something that doesn't belong to you. She must see it being returned.

Oh, don't be so bloody daft!

I would have her post it back and hopefully she'll remember that she can't take things without asking

Why don't you get her to (with your help) write the hotel an email explaining that she took it and didn't realise she wasn't meant to. She can apologise and ask if she should send it back. They will almost certainly say it is fine and no need to return it.
That way, she has learnt the lesson that it's not ok to take it, and has 'owned up' about it to the owner of the thing she has taken.

Once when we stayed in a hotel, my DD asked the receptionist whether she could buy a key card out of her remaining spending money because she really liked it and wanted it for her memory box, the receptionist told her to keep it.

Could you get your DD to call or email the hotel and explain she didn't realise that she had to hand it back in, that she doesn't live in the same country but could return it by airmail. If they ask her to send it back then get her to pay for the postage but I doubt they will.

I would ring the hotel and say you are sorry that your daughter accidentally took home the keycard and offer the pay for it. Then get your daughter to pay you back from her pocket money.

You're making too much of this. Just do a full strip search before she leaves anywhere else. Perhaps have a Taser to hand just in case.

You really won’t be. Don’t be daft.