Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

I'd love to have some childfree time, but I'm a single mum and social services are being difficult.
#Wannabechildfree
#Socialservicesblockedmynumber

Is it just me who kinda gets what OP is saying?

I mean I’m certainly not irked by people living their lives or taking some much needed time for themselves - it’s essential, if not survival in the younger years.

But I do think I know a few people in my life who just seem to ALWAYS be ‘child free’….

Some people are so willing to dump their kids at their grandparents doorstep and get on with their ‘own lives’ like they don’t have a child.

Being a parent is bloody hard and we all need a break - whether that be a holiday once in awhile or a date night or whatever. But I certainly know the couples OP is on about where it feels like they are not really very invested in raising their own children and their own desires always come first.

Maybe shouldn’t have been a parents in the first place

So intolerant, this thread. Personally the #makingmemoriestogether brigade annoy me at least as much as #childfreenight and #offloadedthesprogs people, but I realise that in both cases it's me who has the issue, not them.

Will it really harm my DC to be told in 18 years time that "you were a right little toerag sometimes so we ditched you with grandma whenever we got the chance"? Hmm.

Why are schools acting “in loco parentis,” then?

What a really odd thing to be even thinking about. Somebody needs to get a new hobby, I think.

Given how differently you put your lifestyle across on the middle class thread you posted compared to the perception you're trying to portray on this one of your lifestyle - "yoga, pilates, brunches, pta" I think you're actually just a very bored, massive shite talker who does none of those things and is jealous of others who get more nights out than you.

Always child free?
Or have regular childcare?

My kids go to my parents about once a week when I’m not at work. Unfortunately we do supermarket shop in that time (so #childfree #groceries #foodshop might be apt?) - this arrangement started not so we could get “alone time” but because my parents asked if they could have the kids for a few hours at the weekend. Sometimes we grab a quick lunch too.

I certainly don’t think any parents - maybe outside those who have live in nannies or those who are generally neglectful - are “not that invested in their lives”

I say if you have children be bloody grateful. There are plenty of women who struggle to have them. Yes, they can be tiring, yes, they are needy but these women choose to have them, they're not handbags they are children. If you want a family and you are blessed to have one then advertising your joy at spending time without them is indeed really poor form, sad and distasteful.

I silently judge mums who spend every minute with their kids and have no individual identity.
However I really don't care that much on peoples choices, not enough for 83 comments.

Are you suggesting I am actually not their parent when they are at school? Of course I’m still their mum.

All “in loco parentis” means is that teachers are responsible for their wellbeing during that period of time.

I am certainly not parenting any of the 200+ children I teach a week.

Ridiculous statement.

I agree, like Amanda from motherland

You do know that many people can struggle to have children, eventually have them, and then - gasp - be delighted to have a Sauvignon blanc in peace once in a while.

I have a job, whilst people are unemployed but it's not distasteful saying 'work free day off'.
I dont think child free people will be bothered by someone having a child free night out

Going against the grain here, but I think I get it. I don’t particularly like seeing people posting about how happy they are the children are going back to school, following the holidays. I don’t remember my own parents saying anything like that in my presence- and it’s even worse these days, with social media. It’s bad enough that some parents plaster their children’s every moment all over social media, long before they can consent to it, but then to see posts that are constantly making it seem like they’re happier when the kids are NOT with them, and not being with them is a cause for celebration….. so yeah, I get it. I just think it’s important to realise the effect our words / social media posts have on our children- who will undoubtedly see it / hear it for themselves as they get older.

A lesson I learned growing up:

You can't control other people's behaviour, you can only control your own.

You can't stop people posting about being child free, that is their choice. You don't have to read it though. So, control your own behaviour and remove them from your social media. Don't try to control their behaviours.

And some people go through the pain of infertility, never have their own children but still very much understand why others might want to have some adult only time.

They might not have said it in your presence but they very well may have said it out of your ear shot which is similar to SM really. The children either are super young so can't read, are too young for SM or old enough for SM but will be nowhere near their parents SM because they are far too cool for that.

I didn't read the rest of the thread , just your comments. You repeat yourself a lot. I said on another thread that I chose to have three years off as a SAHM with my only child. As soon as he went to nursery I went part time then eventually full time. I had help from MIL and my Dad which I was lucky to have.

I chose to do what we could. I studied on my time off. I would never judge another woman for choosing a different path. You sound very judgemental and eager to prove how your way is best. We are all full time Mums.

I'll get flamed for this but in my village there are Mums that don't work but I don't think for one minute their children are getting much more time with their Mums as they are probably sat on their arses drinking coffee and watching shit TV. Not saying that all SAHM's are like that.

My child love spending time with his Grandparents when I was working.

Going back to this thread. If I haven't got my child then I would be happy being in a childfree place because if I haven't go mine I wouldn't want other peoples. I do like adult time as long as I knew my DS was being well cared for my family.

I think it's sad if anyone calls themselves a full time Mum if they don't work. What do you think the rest of us do with house jobs? I don't have a childminder or a cleaner so I still do all of that as well as life admin. With my DH.

I don’t like it either! Poor children don’t even sound wanted.

The Insta types are probably the ones who spoil their children though. I wouldn't assume the children are missing out on love and materials things.

Sanctimonious much op, have a word with yourself.......!!

Are you one of these martyr mothers that has to spend every moment with their child? 🙄

I could not agree more. My guess is a failure to launch living in mums basement. If it was a real mum those kids would have starved by now with mum being om mumsnet 80 some replies lol