Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

Not at all. I don't think that in the slightest. My point is I think all those #childfree hashtags are grim

@pootin I agree with you here, that would drive me mad. It's not my job to entertain other peoples kids when out for dinner.

I actually do understand where you’re coming from OP. It would be like a man or woman constantly putting up ‘husband free night out, husband free weekend away, wife free week with the lads’ etc
Same here. It's a weird thing to keep wanting to draw attention to.

If my DH had a day doing one of his sports and then posted about it being all "child free / great day with no kids" I'd think he was being a bit shit to be honest, especially if almost any time he did something out the home he felt the need to announce how great it is to not be around his wife and kids. This might be harsh but I'd privately wonder what he was hoping for: a pat on the back? Someone to whine about his wife and kids to? Someone else to validate how shit it is being married with kids? Is he that boring that his sport isn't interesting and worth sharing unless a dig about parenthood is included?

If someone goes on a date night, is it not enough to enjoy a date together without saying "look everyone on Facebook we left the house without our children"!

We both have time for ourselves, but can't think either of us needs to post on social media about how awesome it is not to be around our children.

It's not a new thing. My mum and dad used to go to Benidorm and Las Palmas in the 70s and mum used to say she was looking forward to being kids free for two weeks. At first I was confused because i thought she meant she was getting new kids for free. It became a running joke in the family. Personally, as the kid I loved it because we went to nans and had the best time!

So I don’t get a lot of time with my husband and any night out without kids feels like a real occasion.

I don’t post on social media but I would maybe say beforehand ‘can’t wait for our night away from the kids’ It’s not that I don’t love them, it’s just different being out by yourself without someone shouting “MUMMY” every 2 mins or accidentally head butting you, or throwing a strop. Am I a horrible person?

I think your friends sound crass for the way they are posting in general, rather than the kid free bit specifically. #Girlsnight sounds so dated now.

I don't think the OP is saying parents shouldn't have kids free breaks. It's about the constant need to post about it. It's very different!

Ahhh!! What a comment! Where to even start!?!?

Yes it’s so relaxing being “free” from the kids while working 40+ hours a week in a stressful job to keep food on the table. Why could a woman need child-free time on top of that?

ALL parents have close to 40 hours a week child free, by the way. Or will do for the majority of their children’s upbringing once they are 4+. Unless you choose to homeschool. So I don’t see why that needed to be a pointed “working mums” comment. How is that even relevant?

It's unlikely they will see them and even if they did, the majority will likely not be bothered.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable here. As someone who does not have children the terms childfree/childless do not to me mean temporarily free of one’s children.

But being with your husband isn’t quite so involved is it. I love my time with the kids but spending every day at home with them is a tad more physically and mentally involved isn't it. If you say ‘kid free night!’ to someone, generally they will know exactly what you mean.

@Bridgetjoneski

when they are at work it’s not time for themselves is it? It’s work.

Lets be real here, mothers. Not parents, mothers.

OP is only judging the mothers. Pointing out that they work full time and gasps, still want some childfree time every other weekend.

And your right it is an occasion for you & your DH, bloody well deserved too. It's just the #childfree hashtagging is grim in my opinion.
I really look forward to my occasional nights with dh too as get to go to places the dc wouldn't appreciate & it's nice to get dressed up & have a few cocktails knowing we don't have to worry about getting home for the babysitter etc as DHs mum is staying over. It's great but I still couldn't bring myself to #notachildinsight about our very rare dinner out.

You would? My mother talks a lot about how difficult we were as young children, and I agree 💁🏽‍♀️ we were little shits 😂

Oh but it did! How very dare you even contemplate having hobbies or interests that don't involve your very lovely dc?

For the avoidance of doubt, I joking and agree with you and think the OP is being silly.

Also for the avoidance of doubt, lives only seem to have to end for mums. Dads are allowed to carry on as normal.

You’re a raging snob OP, the least you could do is own it.

Agree.

There's a part of me that wonders why they had kids if they're so delighted to be away from them (which the language implies). They could have just as easily remarked on how nice it is to get away from work.

There's another part of me that wonders how the kids will feel if and when they ever come across those posts.

Even if they don't personally dislike or resent their children, I do think it's part of a wider anti-child, anti-reproduction mentality, an attitude that adults are entitled to an environment that has no children in it, and I think also a cultural shift where having children is seen as a lifestyle choice that nobody else should feel obliged to accommodate or support in any way.

No actually if you go back through all my posts here I have also mentioned fathers. If DH #childfree or #familyfree he'd bloody know about it. It's condescending & completely inappropriate

@Bridgetjoneski

you are quite right op.

When out these feckless women should post messages about how much they miss their kids, crying emojis, photos of themselves weeping into their cocktails, sooooooo much better and in good taste don’t you think

The salt from the tears only enhances your average margarita

I would have judged my parents if they had described their nights out as "childfree", yes.

Just stop following them on social media if a hashtag causes such a visceral reaction

#datenight #childfreetime etc
They’re hashtags.
It’s not that deep.
No, the child is not going to “see it one day” by scrolling way back through their mum’s profile on an outdated/defunct social media app from 15 years ago.

If they did, what’s the worst that could happen?
”Oy mum, why did you write #childfree as if you were happy to be away from me?”
”Because I was - parenting is bloody hard. I needed a break sometimes.”
”Okay.”

The way you’re fixating on something so minor which lots of people do (or which lots of women you consider “lesser” than you do) has very ragebait/Katie Hopkins vibes. You know no child is going to be traumatised or offended by a hashtag. Give it a rest.

It's hilarious this post OP and you've also succeeded in uniting the SAHPs and WOHPs who can all agree how ridiculous it is.
You've done the impossible.
Bravo!

I must say, OP, im enjoying the steadfast refusal to even consider other people's viewpoints and assurances that you are in fact unreasonable on the very thread where you ask if you are.

It speaks to your character.

Thank you @mathanxiety it just gets my goat & I think it does their dc a disservice to be posting in such a way. It's not cool or trendy, it's grim..
#mumsnightout
#metime
#datenight
#coctailsandchats
Work much better without slighting their kids