Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

Also how likely is it that someone who prolifically posts on Instagram never ever posts anything positive about their kids or family life ever?

Might be weird if the only thing they ever post is negative stuff about their kids, but how likely is that? So, your average kid is going to be able to see that the proportion of "going out childfree posts" to "I love my kids" posts is balanced in their favour. Not that many kids would even care to look at their parents' Insta in the first place!

It's so ironic that you deem anything "condescending".

It oozes from your posts!

Why? Their nights out would (hopefully) have been childfree with or without the #

@CaribouCarafe stiil I think it's crass & grim to be posting about your dc in such a flippant, disposable manner. Enjoy your night out of course but hashtag the people your with & the occasion your celebrating #mumsnightout get the point accross without running down the kids

There's a part of me that wonders why they had kids if they're so delighted to be away from them (which the language implies). They could have just as easily remarked on how nice it is to get away from work.

Posting #childfree #nightout means you resent your kids? 😂

Well, I'm very happy to have time away, as are most people. There comes a point where you miss them and want them back.

Normal. Normal. Normal. So normal, I can't believe this full thread is almost at 400 posts.

Imagine forgetting to include the hashtag means your children get summoned in magically at some random time mid-meal. The horror 🙀

Ok then. Drop your "crass & grim" (and wealthy of course!) friends!

They'd be better off without your judgement in their lives.

WTF do you care? It's utterly trivial!?

If women who work hard all week, parenting also on their working days - want to have a #childfree night out with husband or friends, why can’t they be excited about it.

Working all week with no downtime whatsoever, they’re constantly doing something for someone else. Why can’t they celebrate the four hours a month they get to be an independent person.

You don’t feel the need to post about it because child free downtime is part of your everyday. You’ve no idea how tough it is to be beholden to someone (work/children) at all times.

Anyway are you #childfree right now? Surely the little angels have come in from school? Have you not got homework to do and dinner to make?

Ha imagine! If DH and I are #childfree we're likely not having dinner 🙈

Cannot come up with a better example of a ‘burden’ than kids in a bar or fancy hotel 😂

My husband and I have a long-awaited child free weekend away coming up and I’m gonna spend so long in the spa and the pub and no one will need putting to bed or feeding healthy food. We’ll be burden-less 🎉

Agree.
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There's a part of me that wonders why they had kids if they're so delighted to be away from them (which the language implies). They could have just as easily remarked on how nice it is to get away from work.

Yes but parents, and especially mothers, are with their children so fucking much. Like, from 4.30 or 5am every day. All night if they cosleep. Touching non-stop every hour if they breastfeed. Resolving arguments and doling out hugs between work calls if they WFH. Ferrying to clubs at weekends. Spending every single second of their spare time together, doing child-centric activities, puzzles, petting zoos, soft plays. Gone are the days of leaving your child outside the pub with a packet of crisps, or letting them wander the streets with their mates til bedtime “playing out”.

Women are allowed once a fortnight to say “I am enjoying this night specifically and especially because my children are not here”, without being made to feel guilty.

Anyone who feels otherwise can bugger off.

you shouldn't be on Instagram

Of course they deserve to enjoy it but #childfree #childless #notakidinsight #nokidzone are not very nice hashtags there are many other more suitable ones that don't look & sound so flippant

Oh gosh, you definitely don't want them magically summoned in during...that. Then they'd be truly traumatised!

I think maybe your Pilates friends would be more on board with your comments.

Us working people are not quite as understanding of your fun sponge tendencies

So if you were to post about it on SM, why not say "date night" or "lovely night out with my prince charming"?

There is a cultural shift afoot here, where the "childfree" hashtag has become accepted, with all of its implied messages about children, what pains in the arse they are, the hard slog of life with children, and in general, the undesirability of children.

If a man announced his "wife free" weekend away with the lads, he'd be rightly slated. Because "free" implies a burden lifted, chains broken, misery left behind. It's an insult to the wife and an aspersion on the relationship.

Oooh, let's do a 'what's worse'? Walking in on your parents getting down and dirty OR realising that your mum once posted #childfree on Instagram

They are more of an afterthought. It's clear from both this thread and the previous one that you judge working mothers.

Not yet! They are in afterschool clubs until 5.15 & DH is making dinner when he gets in. I'll update you later on what he chooses to make!

So I don't post this and I don't know many people who do, but I think the point is that it's probably very contextual. I know lots of parents, and I'm going to say mums because it's more typically an issue for mums, as far as I am aware, who spend time dropping kids at things, watching activities, helping at activities, going to soft play or the park etc. who want to catch up with their friends and end up being constantly interrupted by children, because that's why they are at the thing/place they are at. Certainly when DD was young I felt I spoke in distracted half sentences to my 'mum friends' a lot of the time. And so contextually, seeing them sometimes without kids present was indeed a huge blessing - we could have a whole conversation, and share worries or observations that we couldn't discuss in front of children. Sometimes there is a specific virtue in not having your children present.

And that's OK. And it doesn't mean anybody resents anybody, and no children will be damaged in future by understanding that there were occasions when their parents really did enjoy a few hours without them. And it isn't crass or inappropriate. It's very reasonable, and normal.

People feel differently about things depending on their situation, and that's OK.

I was plenty traumatised by discovering a condom in my parents' bedroom once. But I think being made aware that I wasn't the overwhelming light of their life and number one consideration at all times would be more traumatising 😉

When you call it "child free" you're implying the child is the problem, not the feeling of responsibility.

Words matter enormously.

What a weird thing to post about over 60 times, with each message saying basically the same thing.

They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury.

TBF when a thread by anyone on here chatting about any subject that has the line quoted from your post in, especially where it bears no relevance, 'irks' me.

But then again the word 'irks' does the same.
So I suppose its only me that thinks that, I'd rather use peeves/peeved if needed to keep swear words out.