Irks me to see mums boasting about "childfree" nights out & "kid free weekends away"

[Bridgetjoneski]

I just find it very distasteful! I have one or two mum friends on insta & know them in real life. But at least every fortnight they have insta posts up about "kid free" night out with dh or "kid free weekend away". They are quite wealthy & both work full time, I just find it very unsavoury. Tag a dinner your hubby but no need to state the kids absense.
Is this a rising trend or just limited to the pair I know? The latest status tagging the latest dinner out was "not a child in sight"...

Not read the whole thread.

My response to the OP's situation/reaction would be:

• totally reasonable to enjoy and even prioritise time away from the children you have if you can afford it and it enriches your other relationships and the children are safe and well cared for
• totally unreasonable to announce it on social media for all to see especially the kid free thing. No ones business apart from the people who are doing it and I agree that including that detail is going to be loaded for people who look at the social media in question. having said that if it annoys you or triggers you in some way, don't consume said people's social media. All social media is toxic in some way shape or form, this is just another example of it.

Crotchfruit😂😂

@SecondUsername4me speaks sense here. Your brain has started to eat itself, time to go back to work @Bridgetjoneski.

You are daft to be irked by the hashtags people use on Instagram. Don't follow people you think are crass or inappropriate. I think it's good for people to realise that, as much as they love their children, lots of parents really enjoy a wee break from them too. Are you concerned that the children will see these posts and feel unwanted?

Dhs mum always insists we go out & the dc are already in bed! We have never once had to ask her to babysit, she offers which is very nice of her but we always ensure the dc are in bed before we head out. It really isn't often but we enjoy it.

Bingo! I could not imagine my mother talking about me like this when I was a child. It’s inappropriate. I’m with you on this one @Bridgetjoneski.

I actually do understand where you’re coming from OP. It would be like a man or woman constantly putting up ‘husband free night out, husband free weekend away, wife free week with the lads’ etc.

Agreed.

@millymog11 I would be thoroughly pissed off if someone posted a photo of me on Instagram hashtagged childless or childfree. It hasn't happened. I've been tagged before but the captions have always been catching up etc.. Never insinuating I was "childfree"

Thank you! It's not the nights out, it's the constant hashtagging of the lack of children! If a dad or a grandparent or other guardian was hashtagging the same I would also consider it grim.

Nothing on social media is necessary. If people are enjoying themselves either with or without kids, why shouldn’t they say this. It’s as factual as announcing that you’ve eaten a spag Bol or you’re watching the Barbie movie. It’s not in any way crass, inappropriate or anything else- well certainly no more than anything else you’ll find there.

OP I honestly think you need to spend some time in the real world if this is what bothers you at night.

I don't thinks it's distasteful, I think the message that women mothers have a life outside of their children is a positive one.

Corrected that for you.

You hit the nail on the head. What about people caring for elderly relatives they are not hashtagging about it if they have a night out.
Why are the poor kids taking the brunt?
It's bad taste.

This thread is also unnecessary.

What's your point?

Many things posted on SM are unnecessary 🤷‍♀️

I think, good for them. Jealousy doesn't become anyone, op.

I knew it was only a matter of time before this hoary old chestnut got wheeled out. See also the classic Mumsnet bingo post from @Berlinlover ”why bother having them?” Would someone like to chuck in the “You’ll never get the time back” cliche in for good measure?

The unspoken agenda to all of this is that there’s something “distasteful” about women having any form of identity, autonomy or enjoyment which doesn’t relate to their children.

When was the last time a father was chastised for enjoying a drink after work or for indeed spending 40 hours a week in the office?

Bridgetjoneski · Today 14:44 ive not read your posts so I am not sure what your angle is on this.

I think the word "childfree" is incredibly loaded in itself.
My sister who tried but could not have children has used it for years and years in quite an aggressive way towards me (I have two kids) as if to challenge my decision to have children myself. She also talks relentlessly around me about the impact of children on climate change.

Then you have people who use the term "childfree" as a kind of status symbol "look at us we have the wealth and resources to regularly get away from the dustbin-lids (or whatever they call their children)" in a kind of "aren't you drinking? everyone should because I am" type message.

The issue I have is people impressing their own agenda onto others. Its nobodies business if you have arranged a babysitter and are enjoying other relationships in your life provided your kids are happy and well cared for. If the truth of the matter is you find your own kids incredibly demanding and you long for adult time away from them then great! keep it to yourself and get on with it, no one else needs to know.

It irks me, too… but only because I am so jealous I’ve not organised myself or prioritised myself/husband enough to be in a position to make similar posts. 🤣

Oh well, in our quest to try and be good mums, hold down a job, keep our relationships going and stay on top of the housework, we can add this to the list of 'things we are fucking failing at' 🙄

You really are looking to find issues where there just aren't any OP.
A child free night isn't saying anything negative about the child neither is a night without DH.
I just don't understand why you would be so judgemental about another person's choices for a social life.
My recommendation is to ignore SM (I haven't ever engaged in it at all) and take the stick out of your arse. 😁

Am I the only one feeling a bit hmm?

As other people have said above why is there not many hashtagging about being "husbandfree" "partner free" "pet free" "elderlyparentfree" (if they are carers) but "childfree" is completely acceptable?
Why are the children getting bashed & referred to as if they are inconvenience & burden to be free of?

I have mentioned this also. I think the word childfree itself is incredibly insensitive to those who are unable to have children.

Because men can be left to care for themselves. Duh.

Do you say the same for pets or elderly parents /siblings requiring care? @pootlin A hashtag about either would be as inappropriate in my opinion.