To wholeheartedly agree with Brianna Ghey’s mother

[Moonpig82]

I spotted this article this morning. We personally do not allow Tik Tok, Insta, Facebook, Snapchat. For our eldest who has just got a phone when starting Year 7. However we have succumbed to whatsapp.

What are people’s thoughts? How can we ‘police’ our children’s phones?

Or AIBU and there is no policing for social media? I know my Year 7 child’s friends do have these apps. Not all of them though.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68193103

Never heard of them (and just checked with DD and not has she). Not sure what you’ve been accessing 😂

I agree with this. You can’t try to get your kids off their phones while glued to one yourself.

One of the saddest things I see is parents pushing buggies talking or texting on the phone. Put the bloody phone away and talk to your toddler. I saw one parent texting for an entire 30 minute bus journey while her two year old sat in the buggy, ignored, and watched her. And before anyone says that I have no idea what her day is like and maybe she’s just having a break, I think it’s highly unlikely that this was a rare event.

I'm older than the internet 🤣

We've had cases where kids were susceptible to blackmail because they watched stuff (like watching tik tok,nothing massive) or did stuff(getting an account on a friend's phone, joining in in a video etc) or groomed/pressured with promises of access to phones and then blackmailed with it to keep quiet.

We've had kids with a very distorted or singular view of certain issues because that's what they were shown.

We've had kids do stupid things and alone to shoulder the blame and shame .

We've had kids that have seen things but wouldn't speak out or tell their parents in case they would be banned from seeing their friends/go to their house. So many misconceptions,fears, worries ,nightmares kept silent .

All kids too afraid or worried or ashamed to talk to their parents because they broke the rules. Not to mention the aftermath of anxiety, depression,suicide attempts,running away from home etc.

My kid won't because I don't allow it doesn't keep kids safe. It just makes them vulnerable and unable to ask for help. It lulls their parents into a false sense of security.

I 100% support Brianna’s mum on this and admire her do much.

I think some posters are hugely naive as to what their teens will be viewing and exposed to online.

@LetsgoLego mIRC. Or is that too old and niche?

Asl pls

And it’s not the ones being honest and saying it’s a struggle.

I didn't use that, I was an AOL/yahoo chat rooms msn messenger type. There from day 1 with the old dial up modems

Old/female/Mumsnet

I've been thinking about this a lot and in a selfish way I am so glad I am not parenting today. I do have a couple of friends who have teenagers and the challenges faced by young people and their parents in the age of accessibility to heaven only knows what vileness online seem to be overwhelming at times. Of course, you can talk to your kids, you can limit screen time, have parental controls and so on but there is no way you can stop them seeing stuff on their mates' phones who may well have parents who don't care/don't know what they are looking at.

Me and my husband both work within cyber security.

we don’t go on social media ourselves. No Facebook. No WhatsApp. Not messengers no snap chat

subsequently our children don’t go on them either. I do go on Mumsnet obviously. Occasionally Reddit. But that’s how we do it

you have to show the behaviours you want your child to exhibit.

we also wouldn’t allow them it anyway and they’re quite happy with it

Don’t call them brick phones. Call them something neutral; rebrand and rename them to make them cooler with a variety of teen-desired branding, logos and so on; get schools and clubs, etc, to back this up by banning/confiscating any smartphones and making clear in their rules that only basic phones are allowed.

I’d also make it cheaper and simpler to install monitoring software on tablets. Again, maybe special models could be sold with this already on but aimed at teens not little children.

Child abuse for giving your child an older mobile phone

get out of here! What an absolutely ignorant comment.

Oops! Posted before I’d finished. We should also concentrate on educating children, not only about the internet but pre-empting any crap they might come across online later.

No, because teenagers don’t phone each other or use old-style texts where every message costs 40p.

They use free messaging apps like Snapchat or WhatsApp.

Absolutely disgusting.

You’re on mumsnet.

Cerealkiller4U

How old are your children?

@Cerealkiller4U how old are your children? How do you respond when they say all their friends have a smartphone and use SM to keep in touch and so they are being left out of various social networks?

we don’t go on social media ourselves. No Facebook. No WhatsApp. Not messengers no snap chat

I don’t think you are unusual in not using Facebook, most people don’t now and I don’t know any parents aged people who use Snapchat. I don’t use WhatsApp either but that is just a messaging app for communicating isn’t it?

Your usage sounds normal to me, rather than unusual.

My cousin does not allow her 15 year old a smart phone. He has a Nokia or similar brick phone and uses her WhatsApp to message friends

Try to read my comment and understand

When people (ie me) have suggested this, people react as if its child abuse, which as you say is ignorant.

@LetsgoLego mIRC was similar , just different platform. I did use yahoo messenger as well, but that was for the special people/private private conversations.

Oh , this brings back memories.

My cousin’s child 15 y/o has a brick phone and uses my cousin’s WhatsApp on her phone

Is this about Briannah then? I wondered who the poster was referring to, thought it was someone on the thread

If this is true, that is hugely inappropriate and unfortutely showing the naivety that most parents have about this sort of thing. Yes its a concern. Nothing to do with the death of course but it does need to be noted that most of the victims of children who harm are also involved in lots of harmful and dangerous interactions on line. LIke a huge number of children

You can do a lot on even basic phones. Teens also use burner phones to hide what they do from parents. They can be had quite cheaply.