To wholeheartedly agree with Brianna Ghey’s mother

[Moonpig82]

I spotted this article this morning. We personally do not allow Tik Tok, Insta, Facebook, Snapchat. For our eldest who has just got a phone when starting Year 7. However we have succumbed to whatsapp.

What are people’s thoughts? How can we ‘police’ our children’s phones?

Or AIBU and there is no policing for social media? I know my Year 7 child’s friends do have these apps. Not all of them though.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68193103

and if you want to take things further then why do we need shows like dexter, Hannibal, various csi, various horror films etc ?
then all the gangster type shows too and many others

@Outthedoor24 not sure what your point is. I was replying to a poster saying we might be too young to remember how it was and that there was no this and that.

I remember and there was, in various forms but it was. It just changed and evolved and in my opinion it was a lot more dangerous as neither we or our parents were fully aware of the dangers and implications as it was all so new and exciting.

Yes, they can opt out the day they turn 13 in the UK. It's one of the lowest age thresholds in Europe.

We told the kids, "No Family Link = no phone." But you do have to lift some restrictions as they get older.

If you don't have any restrictions in your child 's phone would you give them a pile of porn magazines? Some 18 films?

It's easy enough to lie to google and tell it that your 14yo is 9yo in order to keep the restrictions.

I might go down that route of telling Google they are younger because it seems bonkers they can opt out so easily.

My point about the past which I didnt mention in making my point, so point badly made, was about this concept of privacy for children. Children didnt have privacy and thats ok, the idea of children having privacy was very recent and only once things like personal devices came along, then it became that 'well children need privacy' which is why there is such difficulty for some parents with checking what they're doing, they see this as some sort of invasion of it.

I think children need very limited privacy personally.

We have gone backwards, there have been all sorts of apparent improvements on child safety since the time we sent them up chimneys and deported them for stealing potatoes,, and now children are not safe. And us adults are making choices that make them unsafe.

I think it’s really unfair to lay the blame for this at the feet of parents. We are parenting teens through incredibly difficult times. We did everything right and all the things listed. My kids had no tech on long journeys or meals out. They never had phones overnight and screen time was always restricted. We were very proactive.Phones have still had a horrendous impact on my children.

The dangers are always changing. Always. New sites, new ways for kids to outstep adults, more and more risks. You really need to know your stuff and frankly most parents I know are struggling to manage work, the cost of living, teen mental health( with little support) and navigating raising teens in an increasingly difficult world with next to no support. It’s almost impossible to keep on top of everything.

Until you’re in it you really don’t understand how hard it is.

People maybe didn't think about children's privacy because things were already fairly private.
Back in the day photos were costly, both in film & developing, and stored in the back of a cupboard.

We now have a generation who's baby photos can be accessed by other people, if parents haven't been careful with privacy settings on FB.

Although people have always been careful about what children might see on TV, Elvis's hips being a worry over what they might do to young innocent girls minds.

But the Internet cannot be controlled in that way. By simply banning things.
There has always been parents who'd happily let tweens watch 18 films on video.
Kids accessing adult stuff is an extension of that.

My DTs were the first cohort to use Facebook, which was initially restricted to students at Oxbridge and London Universities. I remember thinking it was instantly engrossing ( very few privacies initially, so you could see pretty much everything), but also potentially changing lives for the worse. Sadly it has been downhill from there.

I have emailed Bark to try to get them to expand there apps/phones for use in the UK.

Please everyone do this as it would be a start to stem the tide.

I also think all that you have listed shouldn’t be allowed for under 18s if it can access the internet. I don’t know if enough good has come out of it for children/teenagers, unnecessary brain rotting devices. The shift in children and teenagers behaviour with the access to these devices in recent years doesn’t seem to be for the better in my eyes. It’s not just smart phones I don’t agree with ;)

Completely ridiculous and impractical to ban the internet from those under 18. Imagine 17 year olds not able to use a phone to look up bus or train information, read the news, listen to music, research for their homework, look for university courses and research a city, use a map application, look for jobs, do online banking, order a book, buy themselves clothes, book the cinema, buy train ticket etc. All things my DD has used the internet for. My 17 year old spent 5 weeks interailing round Europe by herself, but you think she's too young to have a phone? She wouldn't have been able to even plan her trip without access to the internet and without the practice of using it in the preceding years- knowing how to research, how to pay for things online, book trains, check her bank balance, use a navigation tool etc.

You can't separate the adult and child world, it has to be a gradual introduction, starting with supervised access and educating them about how to keep themselves safe, how to conduct themselves online, when to ask for help and report things.

Imagine the difficulties 18 year olds would have if they were denied devices and then given them at 18 and the problems it would cause. They wouldn't be able to do jobs involving the internet or social media as they would be ignorant to i. And imagine being a 17 year old with an August birthday in year group full of friends 18 year old friends with social media accounts which you can't access.

Stupid idea!

You can't separate the adult and child world, it has to be a gradual introduction

This in buckets.
It's up there with when someone asks 'is it OK to leave my 14yo for an evening and you'll get someone come along with NSPCC advice about "not to they are 16"
Do people think kids suddenly grow up overnight, the day they turn 16.

Yes it's a stupid idea.

Briannas mother is upset but banning phones is not the answer. There are millions of phones and most users don't plot to .kill someone. The killers are sick in the head.

Brianna spent lots of time on Tic toc with many followers watching applying make up sessions and clothing etc and so would she have banned her own child. Ban what brianna was freely allowed to do. Sadly they selected another victim first a boy who blocked them, so very unlucky, they would have killed someone and previously tried to kill another.

This.

The other issue with 'special' phones for children is thousands of children get secondhand tech - parents up grade the kids get a hand-me-down or they are purchased secondhand from places like CEX and Cash Converters.

Why would parents buy a £££ dumbed down phone when they can have a ££ phone with all the functions of a standard phone.