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Original poster

Food portions and how to laugh this off??

608 replies

PenisPortions · 04/02/2024 01:01

Help me dear mners, my dh is gaslighting me into accepting his penis portions and I need your stories of similar craziness to help me laugh it off..!

In laws came round, we had two large steaks for dinner. MIL wasn't keen on steak so we made her a stuffed pepper and sides so she was catered for and happy. FIL wanted half of one of the steaks, fine. Dh asked what I thought about that and I said yes fine we'll just share the rest. Dh looked confused for a bit and I said I think it's enough between the two of us to share the remainder.

FIL cooked the sides, DH bbqed the steaks (i was in with the baby), and I come out to see three plates of food. Two have half a steak on them and the third has a whole steak, which dh had claimed as his plate.

I was like ummm are you not splitting it? He said yes I did, and I kind of laughed in disbelief saying no you've given yourself twice the amount of food as me! He got really defensive, said this was what we agreed (not true), and got cross. I told him I was going to even things out, so cut off some of his, and he was so grumpy about it, saying he'd said he wanted a full one and I agreed to that. No "I'm sorry I misunderstood and under catered for you, let's split it like grown ups".

It is such a stupid little thing but keeps playing on my mind, what on earth was that?! Please tell me stories of similar imbalances that your partners have tried to get away with to help me put it into perspective.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 04/02/2024 01:09

4 people for dinner and there was 2 ( large ) steaks ? were you not expecting the in laws ?

how big is a large steak ?

did you think of you having 3/4 of a large steak i.e. 1/4 of the one fil was having and 1/2 of the other one ?

or did dh think you and he were sharing the other 1/2 of fil's - hence him looking confused, and thought you wanted to keep one steak for another time ?

JellyBeanFactory · 04/02/2024 01:11

So he split 2 steaks into 3 portions: 1whole & 2x halves? Instead of (approx (it's late)) 3/4each.

Selfish and greedy. I'd have given my guest a whole one (the smaller of the two) and halved the other.

But penis sharing?

Corondel · 04/02/2024 01:12

Why would you want to ‘laugh it off’? Who bought the meat and under-catered for the three people eating meat?

NaughtybutNice77 · 04/02/2024 01:12

I think it's possible he did misunderstand. What's odd is that you originally felt half a steak was 'enough'. I dare say FIL agreed to this as it seemed to be the portion you had allocated. Neither of you suggested leaving MILs portion for another day so he thought he'd just eat it himself.
You complained, he said he'd misunderstood and gave you some more. Did you ask FIL if he wanted an addition 1/6 of a steak or did you 2 just have an addition 1/4 each?

Defaultsettings · 04/02/2024 01:12

Surely everyone has a steak each and you buy smaller ones for people with less appetite?. if You can’t afford a steak each then buy something else.

TimeForTeaAndG · 04/02/2024 01:14

JellyBeanFactory · 04/02/2024 01:11

So he split 2 steaks into 3 portions: 1whole & 2x halves? Instead of (approx (it's late)) 3/4each.

Selfish and greedy. I'd have given my guest a whole one (the smaller of the two) and halved the other.

But penis sharing?

Penis portions are where the man is automatically allowed to have more food purely because he's a man.

Brollop · 04/02/2024 01:15

If you're breastfeeding then it's extra selfish of him

Vanillalime · 04/02/2024 01:24

I went for Sunday lunch at a boyfriends many moons ago & his mother plated up the food in the kitchen and brought it to each person at the dining table.

When she sat my plate down in front of me she must have realised she had mixed the plates up as I had 2 Yorkshire puddings and her darling son only had 1. So she lifted one from my plate & placed it on his! 😂😂😂

JellyBeanFactory · 04/02/2024 01:28

@TimeForTeaAndG Penis portions are where the man is automatically allowed to have more food purely because he's a man.

Thank you @TimeForTeaAndG - not heard that expression before!

Original poster
PenisPortions · 04/02/2024 01:32

OK quite a bit of concern over our undercatering.

The in laws were a late addition, and we already had the steaks. We also had some lamb chops on offer. Knowing fil he really did just want a half, as he isn't one to take one for the team like that. MIL eats like a bird so that wasn't unusual.

They were big, thick fillet steaks.

In my conversation with dh, I talked about sharing the remainder, and mistakenly assumed the word "equally" was the intent.

Yes I'm breastfeeding.

I think I covered it all?

OP posts:
theconfidenceofwho · 04/02/2024 01:33

Surely men do need more food though given they're generally bigger etc, so do have a higher calorie intake per day?

If I ate like my DH, i'd definitely put on weight whereas he maintains his weight?!

TimeForTeaAndG · 04/02/2024 01:34

JellyBeanFactory · 04/02/2024 01:28

@TimeForTeaAndG Penis portions are where the man is automatically allowed to have more food purely because he's a man.

Thank you @TimeForTeaAndG - not heard that expression before!

Think it's very much a MN expression.

TimeForTeaAndG · 04/02/2024 01:35

theconfidenceofwho · 04/02/2024 01:33

Surely men do need more food though given they're generally bigger etc, so do have a higher calorie intake per day?

If I ate like my DH, i'd definitely put on weight whereas he maintains his weight?!

Some men do. Some men don't.

It's the assumption that just because one is a man he therefore assumes the right to larger portions = penis portions.

MissTrip82 · 04/02/2024 01:36

theconfidenceofwho · 04/02/2024 01:33

Surely men do need more food though given they're generally bigger etc, so do have a higher calorie intake per day?

If I ate like my DH, i'd definitely put on weight whereas he maintains his weight?!

So at individual meals you serve half of what your husband has? As happened here? Really?

Newnamepleasee · 04/02/2024 01:45

Of course men need bigger portions, gosh everyone's portion size is squiffy these days and generally huge!

AutumnFroglets · 04/02/2024 01:55

Next time that happens pick up the plate with the full steak on it and refuse to share. See how he likes it, especially since you are breastfeeding!

My mum always said whoever cuts the cake or serves the food has the very last piece as that ensures fairness. It does actually work.

Sparklfairy · 04/02/2024 02:00

theconfidenceofwho · 04/02/2024 01:33

Surely men do need more food though given they're generally bigger etc, so do have a higher calorie intake per day?

If I ate like my DH, i'd definitely put on weight whereas he maintains his weight?!

It tends to be very selective though ime. These men always get significantly more of the 'best bits' i.e. the meat. If it was purely a calorie need you never see them sharing/having the meat shared equally but getting some extra bread and butter for themselves... Wink

alpenguin · 04/02/2024 02:04

It was a bit presumptuous of your husband to assume he got the whole steak and you’d get the half but unless you called him out on it and reclaimed your share then I don’t know why you’d complain.

My stepmum has done this to me all my life. There’s an age gap between me and my younger siblings so I when was a working adult when they were at school. At the time I worked very active manual jobs (lots of heavy lifting and walking) and yet I still got half the portion size my male Siblings got. All the girls and women got tiny portions and I’d end up having to get something else later on which I hated doing so I spoke up. Thankfully now she doesn’t plate up and we help ourselves so the women dig in.

My partner gives us equal huge portions but I end up giving him 1/3-1/2 of mine anyway.

PinkyFlamingo · 04/02/2024 02:06

Just buy enough food in future for everyone, late addition or not

ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 02:06

I'm not sure of your issue. We normally make a medium sized chicken last for 5 dinners in a working week.

ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 02:08

Did DH give you a decent portion of penis later to make up for it?

donteatthedaisies0 · 04/02/2024 02:11

'Spose it's not very funny but I mentioned 'penis portion' the other week to my husband and then had to explain it was a MN thing and then explain how to identify one . He just rolled his eyes in the way you would expect .We don't discuss MN very much except maybe the Doghouse .

JanglingJack · 04/02/2024 02:14

ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 02:06

I'm not sure of your issue. We normally make a medium sized chicken last for 5 dinners in a working week.

I was waiting for it 🤣

I'm with the under catered brigade. Mmm been invited for lunch. Steak.
Okay half a steak.

Steak should be cooked to ones own liking and cut only by oneself. I want steak now!

JanglingJack · 04/02/2024 02:15

ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 02:08

Did DH give you a decent portion of penis later to make up for it?

I very much doubt it.

I'd hope he didn't even try it on.

Ponoka7 · 04/02/2024 02:17

theconfidenceofwho · 04/02/2024 01:33

Surely men do need more food though given they're generally bigger etc, so do have a higher calorie intake per day?

If I ate like my DH, i'd definitely put on weight whereas he maintains his weight?!

Yes but they'd traditionally need more carbs and women and girls more meat. Yet men were always fed more meat. However with the OP BF the calorie needs might be identical. We've got building work going on around the area and there are more and more female builders. They'll need more calories than the bus driving men.