Food portions and how to laugh this off??

[PenisPortions]

Help me dear mners, my dh is gaslighting me into accepting his penis portions and I need your stories of similar craziness to help me laugh it off..!

In laws came round, we had two large steaks for dinner. MIL wasn't keen on steak so we made her a stuffed pepper and sides so she was catered for and happy. FIL wanted half of one of the steaks, fine. Dh asked what I thought about that and I said yes fine we'll just share the rest. Dh looked confused for a bit and I said I think it's enough between the two of us to share the remainder.

FIL cooked the sides, DH bbqed the steaks (i was in with the baby), and I come out to see three plates of food. Two have half a steak on them and the third has a whole steak, which dh had claimed as his plate.

I was like ummm are you not splitting it? He said yes I did, and I kind of laughed in disbelief saying no you've given yourself twice the amount of food as me! He got really defensive, said this was what we agreed (not true), and got cross. I told him I was going to even things out, so cut off some of his, and he was so grumpy about it, saying he'd said he wanted a full one and I agreed to that. No "I'm sorry I misunderstood and under catered for you, let's split it like grown ups".

It is such a stupid little thing but keeps playing on my mind, what on earth was that?! Please tell me stories of similar imbalances that your partners have tried to get away with to help me put it into perspective.

Not a chance.

There was enough food in the house. It was agreed that we wouldn't cook the lamb chops as well, since fil only wanted half a steak and the remaining meat was enough to be shared between two. I think fil had a late lunch so really did only want that much.

This is specifically about dh seeing 1.5 steaks leftover and deciding not to share it equally between us.

Bigger people need more protein, and men tend to be bigger. Men also need slightly more protein per kilo of bodyweight than women because they usually have more muscle at the same weight. Of course, some women are bigger and more muscular than some men, but in general, it's not unreasonable. Double the amount probably is though.

Hoping for some stories from others soon please!?!

Does he have form for this? Just curious as I can see how it happened. By saying you throught there was enough I might have assumed that you wanted the other half especially if I was wanting a whole one. It’s the sort of thing my husband would say and then he’d be expecting the other half rather than to share the rest.
If it’s a one off then laugh it off, if it’s a pattern then you need to have a conversation about it

Depends on the people.

And even if on a whole the man eats more that doesn't mean that he gets more of each meal. He's not going to waste away 😂

By the sounds of it the 2 steaks were supposed to be for him and the OP, his father then came around and had 1/2 a steak and he decided that that would come off the OPs portion

men don’t necessarily need more than a breastfeeding mum, especially steak which is great for your iron levels.

dh and I often share a steak- if it’s a 400g/500g steak half of it is a meal sized portion. We don’t actually need 1000 calories per meal.

"We don’t actually need 1000 calories per meal."

You are proper mumsnet 🤣

I really thought this was going to be a very different thread….

hah. do you think that's impressive. last week my family of 7 lived off one small quail and we still have left overs!

My Dh ate an entire Toblerone alone on Christmas Day (not a little tiddler, the £6 one) and a whole box of marzipan fruits. On Boxing Night he ate all the After Eight assortment apart from two. At NY we got another Toblerone so I hid it, ate it with DD over the course of the month, and when he saw the empty box in the recycling last week he went in a little huff🤣

I read a recipe in Country Living recently where the author said something along the lines of "this is sufficient for one person, unless you are feeding a teen boy or man" and I immediately thought of MN!

MN is 1000 calories per day !

OP, no stories here because the normal thing to do would have been for him to give you one quarter of his steak. You have to cut them anyways so I don't see why he didn't just do that. My ex was a greedy, meat loving man and even he wouldn't have tried to take a larger portion.

Edited to add : if he was grumpy about sharing why didn't he just quickly cook himself a lamb chop ? They don't take long. Sorry it's all a bit odd, unless you're on a super tight budget or something.

I would expect that a typical man has larger portions than a typical woman based on normal caloric needs. If a woman eats the same size meal as her husband surely she'd put on weight if he maintains his? Just as I wouldn't expect a 5 year old and a 15 year old to eat the same size portions. It's just biology and it is strange that it has become a thing with its own pejorative name.

It's about choice. If she wants to can choose to eat less, but must retain agency otherwise it's sexist.

Possible scenarios she might need more food: she's breastfeeding or pregnant, is larger than the man, is younger with a faster metabolism, is very active, is trying to gain weight, is getting the bulk of her daily calories from that particular meal, or just wants the food !

Don’t laugh it off.
you’re breast feeding and he’s being thoughtless and/or selfish depending on how much or little thought went in to this.

ite definitely a thing. MIL ALWAYS on a diet. Makes female portions on a side plate for dinner and men on dinner plate! Has never asked. I’m not on a diet! When I was bf I noticed penis portions with my partner- he would slice cake very unevenly eg huge wedge for him and a small portion for me. He thinks nothing of demolishing all the snacks and regularly leaving nothing there for others.

i find it incredibly selfish.
with the cake incident I called him out on it and he tried to lie to say they were equal so I took the bigger slice. He sorted out his cutting after that. I just hide half of the snacks now so I can have 1 little item a day.

I know some will think I'm wrong but I would give my husband the whole steak. That is a lot of meat and I like steak. Penis portions are stupid. Just ask him for more meat if you didn't have enough. Is every husband on here an idiot or women just like to complain.

That sort of shit would not fly in my house - things are shared equally, no one scoffs the last of something without asking, no one scoffs something someone else has saved for later and we ask one another how much they want and serve that, we do not assume on their behalf!

Ran it by DP and asked what he assumed the 'share' would entail and he assumed it meant divvying up what was left equally, not the man having a full steak and the woman who normally eats a whole steak, having just half.

If someones still hungry they can fill up on more sides, salad, carbs etc, the best bits should be fair shares!

I think it is very weird to be cutting up steaks like that before sharing. If three people are eating steak then you buy three steaks. I am not surprised he was confused. At least his method of dividing up the food avoided cutting each steak into bits.

Yes Op I think it's just generally greedy/selfish/weird that he would give himself a larger portion and presume that was OK with you and acceptable. We love steak here and it'd be a treat. I just can't imagine my husband plating up two plates of food that are not equal in size. I wouldn't either (and especially not steak!). If there's enough I'd check if he wanted more on his plate but he'd always make sure I had enough. It just seems like general manners and I'd advise a smaller portion for me if needed.

DH and I always share a steak equally

As previous posters have said, your caloric need is the same as a man when you're breastfeeding so that was mean of him. No idea why someone has said women need less protein than men, that's bullshit and contributes to the reason why women lose so much strength from their thirties onwards.

Yes, this is the definition of penis portions to me. DH definitely needs more calories than me, so gets a bigger plate of food. However, we have an equal amount of the 'best bits' and he gets a greater quantity of the carbs to make up the difference. He drinks protein shakes (🤢), so is already ingesting more protein than me anyway, and he makes up the rest of his calories in nuts and bananas.

OP, next time agree that one does the portioning and the other gets the first choice of plate. I do this with my DCs when they are sharing something and it definitely focuses their minds on making things fair and equal!

You won! 😂😂😂

Why do you assume it would be purely for HIS pleasure?