Horrible wife - didn't contact DH enough

[Unrulywifey81]

DH has been away for a week on a course. I've been at home working full time and looking after the children. So hard on both of us.

DH has come home today in a massive strop as I didn't contact him enough. Apparently the fact I messaged him a few (maybe 5) times during the day, made sure he spoke to the children every night while trying to keep on top of work, household chores and keeping us all alive wasn't enough

He messaged one evening when I was enjoying the rarity of having the TV to myself and a couple of early nights and I wasn't in the mood for sexting and now thinks that I didn't make enough effort

During the day when I messaged him there were delays between messages as I was on calls (camera on) so apparently because I wouldn't stop the call to message him is rude.

He's an absolute twat.

I don’t sext, exchange nudes or record sexual activity but some people do, and that works for them.

Ultimately OP and her husband need to decide on what floats their boat, and doesn’t leave him being a stroppy manchild and her feeling like a horrible wife.

It may be as simple as agreeing he will ‘entertain’ himself while he’s away so she can rest and watch the tv in peace after a hard day. Neither is unreasonable, but communication is key now there’s an issue.

Absolutely- each to their own. I was reading the post as the suggestion that OP Should engage in sexting to appease her DH, regardless.

OK. I would ask him first if something went wrong when he was away - is he worried about work, was the course too difficult, has something cropped up that he hasn't told you about?

Because he's behaving like an absolute bell end and you'd like to know if there's something he needs to share.

Sexting in my book is something you do because you're feeling horny and thinking about your partner. If you want to, reassure him that he is welcome to send you horny texts at any time after the children's bedtime and that you won't ever punish him for that. But that IF you choose to respond in kind is entirely up to you and that you aren't a sex chat service for him.

OP, your husband sounds like a total idiot. Everyone is busy - one message or call a day is more than enough, especially as he wasn't gone for long. As for the other stuff, he just needs to grow up and not make a juvenile fuss.

He sounds like a controlling, needy, dictatorial nightmare.

For perspective: if DP or I were working away for a week, we'd rarely ever message as much as five times a day. We're a pretty affectionate couple but we don't need to constantly remind each other we exist. It might just be a "Off to bed now - love you, miss you xx" or something in the evening, or a "Are you watching the football? That was NEVER a penalty?!!" to be honest.

Oh, absolutely not! That explains why I’ve had so many tags 🫣.

Geez. DH travels for work occasionally, we have two young DC, no family nearby and I work FT - he comes back with nothing but thanks as he knows how much harder my life is that week he's away.

My first thought.

Very unattractive and needy.

Entitled, needy idiot that treats you like his support human.

So he's apparently upset that after he spoke to the kids I didn't message in the evening. Some evenings I messaged to say I am off to bed, some I forgot as I was so tired I pretty much fell asleep by about 9pm as I was up early but I messaged every morning to say morning.

There is a longer frustration though as he thinks I work too hard, as even when he is not away I don't always message during the day (busy as work - very full on job, I get maybe a couple of minutes to have a lunch when which and then use my actual lunch break to go and collect the children)

His job is less busy, and he works a lot of shifts which i know makes him feel lonely as he is here trying to sleep a lot during the day.

When I am at work and WFH I have an office space that I use, and he thinks I should sit out with him to talk to him and keep him entertained!

Tell him to fuck off. And grow up.

My DH works away for a week once every couple of months and this is our normal pattern of communication. He's overseas so there is a time difference also.

The sexting thing is very odd unless he's a teenager.

Well that totally nailed it.

Ah, give him a dummy and a blanket to cuddle when you're not there, poor diddums!

he thinks I should sit out with him to talk to him and keep him entertained!

Goodness.

He is wrong, as wrong as a wrong thing that is very wrong indeed. I'd tend to get rid.

It’s usually me who is away. We have a call at 10pm. Is he 5?

His loneliness and lack of friends/work stimulation is NOT your responsibility.

This is the conversation you need to have with him.

He did, poor thing. But the unreasonable OP wouldn’t sext back. 😞

Should also add, I went away for a couple of courses earlier this year and we had a call in the morning maybe if I wasn't tired (had to work some late shifts on my course for practical training) and I wouldn't even get to talk to the children.

We had a massive row the weekend before I went on one of mine, and didn't speak all week. Nothing. Didn't even get an update on how the children were or anything.

He also wasn't working when I was on my course. He was off. The whole week. So he had time to message me.

If your dog is growling at you, someone else is feeding your dog

Oh what an idiot. My husband is away right now. We'll message a couple of times a day but nothing during the working day. He may speak to us if away for for longer than a few days but depends on time zone/ work/ activities etc. Any demanding and I would tell him to fuck off.

Tell him to go away again so that you can practice doing it better this time. Then turn your phone off for the duration.

Is it a good relationship, OP?

Definitely sounds like you're the more mature one.

Not sure if I could feel in the mood for sex with someone so petulant.

I second this.

This sounds familiar though, have you posted about this fuckwit before?