Horrible wife - didn't contact DH enough

[Unrulywifey81]

DH has been away for a week on a course. I've been at home working full time and looking after the children. So hard on both of us.

DH has come home today in a massive strop as I didn't contact him enough. Apparently the fact I messaged him a few (maybe 5) times during the day, made sure he spoke to the children every night while trying to keep on top of work, household chores and keeping us all alive wasn't enough

He messaged one evening when I was enjoying the rarity of having the TV to myself and a couple of early nights and I wasn't in the mood for sexting and now thinks that I didn't make enough effort

During the day when I messaged him there were delays between messages as I was on calls (camera on) so apparently because I wouldn't stop the call to message him is rude.

Probably snatch the laptop away and smash it to ensure that she doesn't continue getting notions of being a sentient human who is being subjected to domestic abuse and coercive control. Then she doesn't have a computer to work on = no job. Especially if it's been provided by work, as he'll also be hoping that she gets fired for it. Cut off the money so it can't be replaced and she'll owe work for it as well as being fired with no reference.

It's a ridiculous idea to even think of showing him that she is, as he fears, getting advice and help from people that contradict his desire to have absolute control of OP in mind and body.

Maybe he considered it 'hard for him' because OP wasn't there to provide sex or 'wank fodder' via sexting.

Disgusting.

@AcrossthePond55 nails it, as always.

OP - your husband needs to grow a pair and then wank himself off. Wanker.

What a selfish arsehole! You’re meant to take time out of your working day to service his sexual requirements? Is he on fucking drugs?! And you don’t pay enough attention to your dc, when he chooses to spend 5/6 Saturdays at football?! Jesus Christ, he’s an idiot.

This comment resonates the most with me. This guy is a CUNT and you would be so much happier without him. Sure, separation is tough and will take some getting used to, but I GUARANTEE you would be a much happier woman and Mum without this guy.

I was with one of these pricks, he destroyed my life, my self esteem, my pride... and the relief and pride in myself I feel, even now nearly 10years on, knowing I didn't put up with it is incredible and still hits me all the time.

Get away from this cunt, please x

@AcrossthePond55 has very eloquently offered you such incredible advice, you should take it x

(Much better than my last comment with expletives 🙈)

I applaud both @AcrossthePond55 for her measured advice, and @InAPickle12345 for her blunt, accurate, character analysis.

Thanks @MysteriousInspector 😂 I think both @AcrossthePond55 and @Wednesdaysphiltrum articulate the soft and hard love in this situation quite well...either way, he sounds like an absolute cunt.

And OP, you sound great and worth much, much more than this x

@MysteriousInspector @InAPickle12345 @Wednesdaysphiltrum

It's been said 'hard' and it's been said 'soft' but it remains to be seen if @Unrulywifey81 is taking any of this to heart.

Unfortunately I think she's still in the place of 'if I keep talking and talking and talking (and talking) he will suddenly have an epiphany and change have a personality transplant. I've been there, thinking there were 'magic words'I could say if I could just find them. But I never did. Luckily, I was the one who had the sudden epiphany and got the hell out. Hopefully OP will get there. What is it they say? That an abused woman typically takes seven times to get out of an abusive relationship.

I just hope OP has some wise friends and relatives nearby to encourage her to leave IRL. It's easy to 'reason away' strangers on the internet, not so easy when you have a loved one or respected friend telling you that your husband is a cunt and to GTFO.

Good grief, if my husband was away working Mon to Friday, lucky if he got called once. We ate not that kind of people. And when k8ds were opung there was no face time. He is BU. He was away for a few days.

Next time he's on a work trip, here's the message you should send him: "Locks changed, your stuff's been sent round to your best mate's. Goodbye."