Really Annoyed This Morning ...

[MrsToriCostner]

Sorry guys, I just really need a rant!

SAHM here, two kids, almost 7, almost 2.

Got up this morning, came down, kitchen a mess from me cooking last night.

Presumed DH would have sorted it or at least filled the dishwasher and turned it on last night.

I do DHs packed lunch for work and shout up and ask him to bring any glasses/pots from upstairs meanwhile I've told DC1 to get dressed for school numerous times but they are not listening and still in pjs watching tv.

I go upstairs to get ready for the school run and find glasses/pots in DC1 bedroom, DH has taken the flat sheet off our bed and dumped it on the floor and left it there because DC2 leaked in the night apparently. His socks are dumped on the floor too, it's the same every morning, I find myself putting them in the wash basket myself.

DC1 is still not dressed and apparently can't find any socks despite multiple pairs been in the wardrobe.

So I'm shouting loud by now as we are going to be late and I'm taking 2 kids on the school run.

I don't know why I'm writing this, I just feel I could fall out with the world today 🙁

Get back to work, make parenting equal. As an aside why are there 'pots' in the bedroom?

Glasses for water and Calpol dispenser as DC1 has been poorly.

Why are you making your dhs lunch? He's not one of the kids.

You're doing too much and they're taking you for granted.

Stop babying your husband, for a start. Stop
picking up his socks and making his lunches.

Surely there was the opportunity for discussion about the dishwasher and the sheet?

Time for a war council. Agree who does what of the household tasks and when. Then do it.

I'm not sure. I don't really have an answer.

Yes I wondered what they were doing with pots upstairs

Do you mean potties OP?

Have a proper conversation with your DH about pulling his weight.

Stop making his lunch, you have enough to do.

No TV until DC1 is ready for school. Be strict on this. It will focus their mind.

Pots means dishes. It's a regional dialect word.

Why isn't he capable of making his
Own lunch? Has he ever made it?

My in laws say “doing the pots” instead of “doing the dishes”. Think it’s a northern thing.

I do DHs packed lunch for work
I find myself putting them in the wash basket myself.

You expect your 6 year old to get dressed but you're doing basic tasks for a grown man. 🤦🏻‍♀️

You need to have a serious talk with the other adult in your house about pulling his weight, and he needs to start acting like a parent rather than another child.

We are so quaint up here in the outback.

In some parts of the UK “pots” is a catch-all term for dirty dishes.

They say “washing the pots” rather than “doing the dishes”

So she means dirty tea cups, plates etc.

I didn't mention the dishwasher if I'm honest, I just got on with it. I did mention the sheet, I asked him why he's just taken it off and dumped it on the floor? He didn't really say, just said he was going to move it. Before he left he has put it in the washing machine and left it there without turning it on. If I hadn't have moaned he would have left it upstairs on the floor.

But why are there dishes in bedrooms?? Bizarre.

Stop making his lunch. Get back to work ASAP.

By pots I mean a few glasses, sorry not been clear.

Or glasses as stated in her post

Have you never taken a cup of tea into your bedroom?

I really feel for you.

I’ve been there - and this is now what I do:

1. Don’t make anyone their lunch. Even my youngest has made their own from age 7.
2. TV off in the morning. When it is on, no one listens.
3. Only wash your own clothes and children’s clothes.
4. Tell your DH to do the kitchen. Not every day - he needs to use his eyes and see it needs doing. But don’t bottle it up - don’t rely on mind reading. It should be obvious, but it isn’t. Every morning/evening now my DH does the kitchen as I do every dinner (with timings for work, this works for us).

talk to your dh. Tell him he has certain working hours, so does it seem fair you’re 24/7? My sil has wash baskets in most rooms (I did but found it as irritating lugging everything everywhere!) Right there with you today op, ran about like a headless chicken this morning, dh made vague comments that we must get things more under control but didn’t help tons. You’re doing a fab job, make sure you get any sort of a break today

Honestly, assuming your husband works full time, I'd be expecting you to wash the bedsheets and clean the kitchen since you're in the house all day. Probably not a popular opinion

But why are there dishes in bedrooms?? Bizarre.
Very strong word for having eg a cup or a glass in your room!!

In that case you need to stop treating him like a third child

No lunches, no picking up after him.

and as other posters have said, no tv for DC. I feel your pain. DS used to sit staring into space half dressed. We also used to lay clothes out together the night before so he could dress quickly and in order which worked.

Start with the kids - if they aren't listening to you, turn the tv off and say it doesn't go on in the morning until they are dressed.
I'm guessing your husband is at work now, so unless you were willing to leave it all until he comes home, you're probably stuck with doing it today. But definitely you need to be having a serious discussion about you not being the family's skivvy and he needs to pull his weight domestically. This isn't a favour for you btw, it's an adult man doing his share of child/home related tasks.

And ask him why he thinks it's okay, or remotely attractive, for you to be doing extra tasks for him, while he behaves like an additional child?