…or is my childminder?

[Childminderwoes]

DS is 10 months and started with a childminder 6 weeks ago. 2 days a week so I can get various things done before my maternity leave ends in March, and full time hours when I go back.

He has a drop off/pick up time as you would expect but she’s very very very rigid about this. And will message to complain if you’re not there at the exact minute because she has other drops offs 5 minutes either side of his slot. To the extent where she’s messaged to complain about him being dropped off 2 or 3 minutes before or after his set time.

She wants me to text 2 minutes before arrival every time he’s dropped off, so she can come outside to collect him, and is very firm about this, and will again text if I forget to remind me for next time.

She wants him to be in the buggy at every drop off to minimise his distress at being ‘handed over’ which I understood for the first few weeks but it’s become a real pain getting the buggy out of the car, setting it up and strapping him in just to wheel him down her driveway.

She’s really lovely but after 5 weeks all of it is getting a bit much. I thought by now I would be able to just hand him over, as you would expect mornings are a bit mad as I also have a 4 year old to get to school. All these extra caveats are starting to grate on me a little.

To add to this I’m not too sure about his meals. He has lunch at hers, but never what I would call a proper lunch - the diary entry says things like bread sticks, toast, pouches, fruit. I suppose I expected he would have something a bit healthier and hot.

Is this normal for a childminder?

Now that your child is used to her, ask to drop him off not in the push chair. It is unreasonable that you have to deliver him that way now that he probably won't cling to you.
It is dangerous to text and drive. Can't she agree to you texting that you have left home and will most likely arrive XXX minutes later?
But try to be diligent about drop off time.
You might not be suited to one another.

Report WHAT exactly to Ofsted??? 🙄
Op needs to discuss this with her childminder at this stage and come to an agreement.

"This is why I use a nursery" 🙄
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/toddlers-were-strapped-chairs-nursery-13941083
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5429121/Ofsted-suspends-nursery-using-strap-chair-children.html
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/nurseries/4947095-toddler-strapped-at-nursery-frequently

Yeah I think the texting is weird.

But I think to the minute is fine. Just be early and wait in your car.

No of course not. Childminder clearly expects parents to arrive and then text from outside not while driving. Don't be so rediculous

I feel like clearly people can't read because I said I thought the buggy was unnecessary.

But yes I think it's completely reasonable to expect parents to not be late if you have to leave to take children on the school run etc. really the childminder should arrange for the child to turn up earlier so it isn't so rushed but parent might not want to pay for an earlier drop off.

It is not really that difficult to arrive somewhere early then get out of the car and arrive on the door step by the time you are meant to be there. I do think the childminder is being rediculous with the text 2 minute thing but it's not unreasonable to ask for people to be on time not early or late.

I agree with you about saying the child needs to be dropped off earlier. I had some situations where parents didn't want to pay for earlier and wanted to drop off when they needed it. I was a soft touch tbh and often would let people drop off earlier and I'd not charge the extra but without knowing why the parent has arranged that this the drop off time it's hard to comment on.

We have used a childminder for 5 years. She's wonderful and feels part of our extended family. It would be no problem to drop a bit late, but picking up late is definitely a no-no.The buggy thing is beyond weird. Do you leave her with your buggy?

Setting 5 minute windows is just ridiculous. Even more so doing them back to back and getting annoyed that the parents aren’t hitting their 5 min window perfectly.

Even my local primary school manages a 10 minute window for children to come
into school. And schools are hardly known for their flexibility!

I would never pick a childminder who is monitoring things by minutes like this. When I did use a childminder, she basically charged in half day increments with opening and closing times for the sessions (like nurseries usually do), and school run windows where everyone knew she’s be out doing the school run. I’d let her know if I was going to be earlier or later than I usually was within those hours (so she could make sure she was ready etc) but there’s no way I’d have been interested in someone counting down minutes to calculate charges.

Having to keep track of and bill for attendance on a to the minute basis just creates masses of extra paperwork for everyone involved - so I don’t see how a childminder even benefits from this kind of policy.

Are you the childminder this OP is talking about?

I can think of no other reason why you’d be defending a policy of allocating 5 minute drop off/pick up windows and expecting parents to arrive two minutes early and text from the car so the childminder can come out and get the child.

It’s such a weird, undesirable and obviously not going to work in reality policy to have.

Find someone else

I don’t necessarily agree with this as a blanket statement.

Nurseries are a much better option for some families and children. Childminders are a much better option for others.

Quality varies across settings whatever type of early years provision you use.

I use a nursery for DS3 (and did for DS2). It works well for us. A childminder turned out to suit DS1 far better when he was little, and worked for my circumstances too. DS1 had a terrible time at nursery as a baby and it was so much better for him when I switched to a childminder.

This is very odd. My friend is a childminder and her mindees all have a 30 minute window she expects them in, and they just need to let her know if drop off will be outside that.

Lunches are usually things like scrambled egg, toast fingers, baked beans followed by yogurt with chopped up strawberries and banana, and for dinner she usually does them a hot meal at around 4:30 - pasta with tomato sauce or jacket potato?

My eldest went to a lovely childminder and this just sounds utterly bonkers and a bit unfriendly to me.

We knew we had to drop off before X time, as she needed to do the school run, but other than that she was flexible within the hours she worked. I paid her from 8-5 but usually dropped off at around 8:15 and picked up about 4:30, but knew I had wiggle room if needed and she was happy with this arrangement.

Having to be dropped off in a pushchair just sounds horrible (for the child) and a right faff. Mine have always walked into childcare as it's important for a child to feel like the have autonomy and some degree of control in these situations.

I think you're right to look for an alternative...

I’d be a bit uncomfortable about not ever going into her house in the morning ( if I’ve understood correctly) tbf

Couldn't cope with this at all, think it's the right decision to look for somewhere else as you'll soon be dealing with 5 days a week of this.

How are you supposed to text 2 mins before arriving if you're driving!? She sounds really intense and I couldn't deal with that

Absolutely not normal

Big red flag to me that she doesn’t want you in the house to hand him over.

You should be welcomed into the setting to see how he is etc

I would drop her like a hot potato.

This is odd behaviour and I would be worriedabout the care she's provides. Is she unable to cope with the handover? What happens when you child finds out that you have gone and the childminder is there? How do you know your child is being comforted/cared for in this situation.

It's not normal or acceptable to expect you to arrive at the exact minute and give a 2 minute text. For all those saying childminders/nurseries charge for being a few minutes late, from my personal experience they allow a 15 minute difference due to being aware that people do get out of work late/traffic/etc.

Another childminder here. Yes this is insane.

could of quick questions tho - did you see inside her house when you interviewed her and were there any other children present? I always prefer potential new clients to see me with my mindees so they can see how I interact with them. As many have said, I'm worried your lo is being left in the buggy and not interacted with.

and when you collect, I assume it's the same set up, she has your lo in the buggy outside the house for you to wheel him away, and as others have said , at collection and drop off where are the other children she minds?

The EYFS was changed last month, and it now says all children whilst in our care MUST be in eye and ear shot at all times. It used to say only ear shot (lol so you could actually shut the loo door when using it!).

I trained as a childminder didn’t actually start as found a job in a special school which I love anyway in your training you have to submit menus which should be home cooked meals so I’d probably ask about that. Pick up and drop off is meant to be a timed event but mainly pick up as if you are late the child minder should after trying to contact you call social services. Do you not go into the house? It’s what I would expect you to do.

Too rigid on times and the food sounds poor - breadsticks, toast, pouches, fruit - where’s the protein?

YANBU - I’d bet that those who think you are haven’t ever used a childminder because they really don’t work like this !!
. If you’re struggling with this now imagine how much harder It’s going to be when you go back to work
Id swap childminders now before your LO gets too used to her - it’s totally bonkers !

I could probably get my 9mo somewhere for the same minute everyday but my 3yo… no way! Mine are at nursery but drop off time varies depending on his mood. I would have to aim to arrive early every morning and then sit in the car until the exact which would be frustrating. With the texting, just tell her you’ll send one when you pull up and then she has time to come out whilst you sort the buggy. Although I do find the buggy thing unnecessary.

If you’re finding it hard now then think about doing it for x no of years. It would be easier to move setting and settle DC now before you’re back at work.

No. Christ. Get a better one, she sounds bloody awful.

Childminders do vary when it comes to providing lunch.

But that drop off/pick up things seems nuts, a 5 minutes window/texting when you arrive, being in the buggy......find another, or a nursery.

I'd give notice now and tell her at the same time that you have no intention of beating yourself up getting him there at an exact time during the notice period.