…or is my childminder?

[Childminderwoes]

DS is 10 months and started with a childminder 6 weeks ago. 2 days a week so I can get various things done before my maternity leave ends in March, and full time hours when I go back.

He has a drop off/pick up time as you would expect but she’s very very very rigid about this. And will message to complain if you’re not there at the exact minute because she has other drops offs 5 minutes either side of his slot. To the extent where she’s messaged to complain about him being dropped off 2 or 3 minutes before or after his set time.

She wants me to text 2 minutes before arrival every time he’s dropped off, so she can come outside to collect him, and is very firm about this, and will again text if I forget to remind me for next time.

She wants him to be in the buggy at every drop off to minimise his distress at being ‘handed over’ which I understood for the first few weeks but it’s become a real pain getting the buggy out of the car, setting it up and strapping him in just to wheel him down her driveway.

She’s really lovely but after 5 weeks all of it is getting a bit much. I thought by now I would be able to just hand him over, as you would expect mornings are a bit mad as I also have a 4 year old to get to school. All these extra caveats are starting to grate on me a little.

To add to this I’m not too sure about his meals. He has lunch at hers, but never what I would call a proper lunch - the diary entry says things like bread sticks, toast, pouches, fruit. I suppose I expected he would have something a bit healthier and hot.

Is this normal for a childminder?

Does she have any help? Maybe she doesn’t and is worried about leaving other babies alone whilst she answers the door 😳

Go with a nursery! Everything is better. The facilities, food, flexibility to arrive st various times

She sounds nuts.

Never had this with child minders or nurseries, and I’ve used several over the years.

This all sounds ludicrous. The thing which would sound alarm bells to me is why are you dropping off your son in his buggy? You should be allowed to go into the childminder's home with him. As for drop off and pick up times., they should be flexible. If you arrive a bit late then so be it. It also sounds as if she is giving a snack lunch rather than a proper meal.
I would be looking for another child minder!

It’s not you it’s the childminder,

my childminder doesn’t have slots doesn’t complain I’m always late if I’m not working hur she just tells me when she’s going out and what time to be there without anything other than a laugh and a joke.

my childminder also allows us to provide our own lunches and notes down what she’s eaten etc.

and again the pushchair thing is bizarre.

Absolutely agree with this. Lots of parents turn up late /early/ without notice etc .
so I think she is fair. Really was it 2 minutes after ?
i was a childminder and still do loads CPD with them ans lots of them are like this as many parents take the mick

Sounds very strange op.
I had child minders for both my children as I liked the more personal and family orientated setup. Much more flexible with pickup/drop off.
At our original meetings we discussed lunches, snacks etc so I could advise her the sort of things I wanted them to eat.

I still see both my children's childminders & my children are both in their 20's now!

I'm afraid I would definitely look at a different childminder.

As a recent childminder I do t think this wil be the case at all. It’s actually difficult to get other little ones ready and out the door whilst seeing one child off.

i feel like there may be some slight exaggeration on the posters part surely .

I don’t get very good vibes about your childminder. I wonder what she’s hiding?
It might be that she is living with OCD or even ADD and everything has to be structured for her.
It doesn’t help you though and having a childminder is supposed to make things easier for you. There are plenty of childminders out there. Contact some of the nurseries for their recommendations. There might also be a parent line on the government website. That’s where we got ours from.

My childminder was very good and I was shown everything in the house that related to the children.

Apologies if I’ve duplicated what others have written. It’s hard to keep up with the threads.

Sounds a solutely ridiculous. And stressful. I couldn't be putting up with that

I couldn’t put up with that. There should be some leeway - I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt her!

Completely disagree with this as well , why would you want parents in the house all the time ? Many if not most have a doorstep policy
not to say they can’t come in but at an agreed time . Would like to see you many 3 really little ones - getting them ready at different times - and then one deciding to come in. It’s not practical .

nurseries have many staff , someone at the desk etc. Even if nursery has more kids - tha fact that they have more eyes/ears/hands available is just completely different to solo working.

How are you supposed to text her 2 minutes before when you are driving absolutely bizarre I'd find someone else tbh

And if she's this strict with parents what's she like with the children also why arent you allowed in the house whats she hiding are the other kids left strapped into their pushchairs ? She should be leaving the others alone while she collects children from outside it only takes a second for an accident so this makes me even more suspicious I'd not want her looking after my baby tbh

No you are not being unreasonable . Sounds like a childminder whose heart is in the wrong place I.e her convenience as opposed to yours . Lunch sounds iffy too sounds more like in between snacks

He is your child. If you don’t like it - don’t send him. It sounds like you’re home at the moment so spend time finding somewhere right for him before you return to work and it becomes harder to not to have childcare

😳find someone else. This woman is giving you more stress than what you need. I had a brilliant childminder. Hot meals meat free as we are pescatarian. Had all the gear necessary for the children. I didn't even have to take my DD travel pot to her house for their walks. She potty trained my D in weeks and soon enough she just asked to bring knickers in case of accidents. My DD absolutely loved her time there . This was during COVID time so most restrictions were regarding risk situations regarding DD health. There's a lot of fish in the sea... Look for someone else!

That sounds a bit extreme 5 minute slots , I understand her needing reasonable punctuality before a school run , how many other children does she have and have you ever seen the parents that drop off either side of you?? I would ask them how they manage , I would make a point of parking up 5 mins before get child in buggy then dead on your time you're walking up the drive 😁
As for the meals ask if she provides hot meal at tea time I get the lunchtime meal being finger foods etc as you can at least give your child a hot meal at tea time, if not I would definitely move childminders

Very strange, surely she only has 3 EYFS children so if they all start at 8 and drop off is between 8-8.30 the changes of overlapping are very slim. Pushchair thing weird. I only ask parents to text me if they are picking up more than 10 mins early so can get shoes coat on ready as it’s always harder once parents are here and child just wants to get out the door to them.

My childminder wasn’t like that at all and gave my son normal proper full meals. I’d look around for someone else if I were you, she’s being far too petty about drop off times etc, it’s impossible sometimes to be that accurate.

I had a very similar experience with a childminder regarding times and food and it made me uneasy as to what was going on once I left my daughter. I won't go into a laborious description but enough to say I found out she wasn't just childminding and was taking the children out to another job . Without a doubt you need to change your childminder straight away . I would like to add I am very punctual person and am always on time everywhere but my gut instinct told me something wasn't right and it wasn't!
Good luck finding the right person.

So my daughter’s childminder was like this, all very strict and rigid, at the time, I thought that the routine and structure would be good. Later when my daughter was in her teens, she told me how much she hated it, she was constantly getting time out for really minor things. My daughter was there pre and post school for 4 years. The childminder kept reducing and changing her hours, with not much notice, so I had to start using school breakfast and afterschool club and in the end I moved her to that full time. She much preferred it and it was half the price.

the moral of the story…..if that’s what’s she’s like on drop off and pick up, it might be worse in between so I would find someone else.

I agree , huge alarm bells re pushchairs etc . Having used childminders when returning to work I realised SOME are not what they seem. Some are wonderful but you have to look closely.

Start scouting for another childminder. The" 2 minute before arrival" text thing is such a huge flag for me. Is she that inflexible with your child throughout the day. Very 'hands off' to ask that your little one be handed over in the buggy .The lack of a proper hot meal,especially in the winter would be of great concern to me also. I used a childminder myself and it was such a lovely warm,caring environment. I used to love going in on a Monday with my child , my childminders kitchen was filled with the delicious smell of the home made soups being made for the lunches . The days activities were shared! Toddler group. Tumble Tots at the local Sport Hall. Wednesday lunch club at the local church hall. Polar opposite from what you describe here! My child stayed in touch with her childminder even after she started primary school. We wouldn't have lasted two minutes with your I'm sure. Good luck whatever you decide.

Utterly ridiculous. One of the many many reasons why we use nursery is that you can drop off / pick up any time that suits you between 7.30am - 6. Also they have proper meals made by an actual chef with menus on a 4 week rota so they get to try lots of new food.