Should I tell her he's been sleeping with me

[Damaged27]

Changed name for this as its really outing. My ex and I have been sleeping together since we broke up kind of a fwb situation. Where not together and free to do whatever with whoever. However iv just found out, not from him that he has been in a relationship with another woman for almost a year and she is a minimum of 12 weeks pregnant with his child. He has not said a word to me about this. Aibu to tell her or should I just walk away and let them have their little family.
Yabu. Don't tell her
Yanbu. Tell her what a cheating asshole she is with.

Despite the use of ‘mate’, I’m actually not English-born. Do I mean effectiveness?

No. Efficacy is fine.

@NotQuiteNorma I’m confused by your response. Are you telling me I’m lucky that all I got was pregnant? Or the OP?

I agree you need to be using condoms each and every time. You have kids and responsibilities. Your health is important. Do not have unsafe sex.

That said again OP having casual sex with a FWB and a one night stand aren't the issue. In this case her partners overlapped but I think people often feel safer if they only have one partner. You aren't unless you are both tested.

She had an abortion which sounds like it was the right choice for her and everyone in this scenario.

Do not ever sleep with this man again, you deserve better.

Also everyone should be getting std checks if they have unsafe sex. Everyone. It only takes one partner to lie and say they are tested and healthy.

Goodluck OP. He sounds like a complete ass and hopefully you block him and move on.

And let's not make comments on her looks or how picky people are. It's unnecessary and cruel, plus no basis in reality.

Well, not that fine, given she’s just had an abortion on the mini-pill? It has one job: to prevent pregnancy.

And perhaps you’re privy to its efficacy in relation to preventing STIs, that the rest of us aren’t?

Again: bizarre choice for someone having regular sex with multiple partners.

Op, you’ve made your decision. I advise you to stick to it and stay off this thread.

You need condoms. Why are you even bothering with this man, why not just get rid and let him get on with his own life
.

I bet the whole tune of this entire thread changes when you find out that OPs abortion was really with her fiancé that she’s been cheating on with this guy the whole time. There’s plot twists than there plot pretzels, insanity

It's definitely your place to tell her and the ethical thing to do since he might be diseased, and having a kid to a skeezy sleazer might not be her dream scenario. If it's safe to tell her, do so.

You just made up a random story. Firstly no one is engaged and the abortion I had wasn't his baby

If you were both sleeping around (no hate just facts) then it’s more a sexual health checkup kind of thing? She may have thought they were exclusive but if you have been with others at the same time, alongside possibly him she should at least get a screening.

No it's still a "your boyfriend is cheating" kind of thing. Sexual health checkup should be standard for those.

God I feel sick with pity for this woman since reading the update, he sounds like a total piece of shit.

FFS op. Just tell her. Tell her tonight.
your FWB has had plenty of time to do so now, if he hasn’t done so already then he won’t… you need to give her the chance to terminate her pregnancy should she decide to once she realises she’s going to have another baby with another useless man!
That poor woman. If you don’t want to tell her because you’re worried about loosing sex with the ex then at least get someone else to message her and pretend to be splitting on the pair of you!