Should I tell her he's been sleeping with me

[Damaged27]

Changed name for this as its really outing. My ex and I have been sleeping together since we broke up kind of a fwb situation. Where not together and free to do whatever with whoever. However iv just found out, not from him that he has been in a relationship with another woman for almost a year and she is a minimum of 12 weeks pregnant with his child. He has not said a word to me about this. Aibu to tell her or should I just walk away and let them have their little family.
Yabu. Don't tell her
Yanbu. Tell her what a cheating asshole she is with.

None of your business- but pregnancy is a side effect of unprotected sex- so I would definately get STI sorted for you ASAP and if positive then I would let her know. If not I would leave well alone.

I’m still rolling around laughing 😂😂😂😂

I don’t think she’ll believe op and it will cause a lot of stress. The only thing to think about is if he’s sleeping around then there is sti risk to unborn child (no offense op I don’t mean you!) but I’d still be inclined to tell him that rather than her… as someone who was put through hell through a break up at 8m pregnant I’d rather I was kept in blissful
ignorance during the pregnancy and found out later when the dust had settled from the baby’s birth I was feeling Back to my healthy self again

Wow. This thread attests that women really are cunts to each other. We’re our own worst enemy.

And I definitely do not mean the OP. Shaming her for casual sex end worse, shaming her for an abortion? Fucking hell.

Just bringing this absolutely under rated comment back to the forefront…

Break contact and move on for yourself.

jesus op@Damaged27 they are about to have a family and thats your response ??? omg

Tell her.

No one told me. He doesn't deserve to get away with it. She deserves better.

You can be furious with a complete stranger who has no responsibility to you if you wish to, by all means.

I voted not unreasonable however I dont think you should say anything as you don't know what kind of trouble could come to your door. Just walk away block his contacts and leave it at that. He will figure out what he has done to warrant your reaction

Say nothing.

This. If she wants a proper and nice family, the sooner she gets rid of him, the better for her and the baby.

She doesn’t need to stay with a cheating bastard just because she is pregnant. He is going to continue to be a cheating bastard even if you clear off. Find a way to let her know.

Yup - that's what single means!

Again, of course it's the ethical thing to do since being pregnant to a skeezy slut dude would be a nightmare for her if it comes as a surprise, and she needs to get tested, as do you, as he might well be diseased.

But that's assuming you feel safe telling her since slutty men are often really entitled and he might get angry.

Whose is it then? He clearly isn't going to tell her which leaves this huge lie and deception that OP has, unwittingly, been part of.

I'm all for casual sex... But sheesh... With the chain of bodies this long the poor pregnant woman should know.

Op had two sexual partners... What do you consider acceptable casual sex?

Yes. Yes it does.

Although abortion and casual sex should always have been acceptable..

Not to speak for the person you quoted, but I don’t think it’s the casual sex, per se.

With two women pregnant, and the all-round lassez-faire attitude towards contraception, it’s less than ideal.

As they’re all now finding out…..

How can you say ex yet still sleep together. Boggles me

This

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen

its not your business to say how a FWB relationship works.

Relationships have their own rules, defined by the people in them, not by Internet busybodies.

Maybe you're confused with more of a FB relationship?! But still Not Your Place to make up rules.

@Damaged27 I think she needs to be told before putting his name on the birth certificate, deciding whether to give the baby his surname or hers or choosing the baby's name. All things she might want to choose differently knowing he's a cheating scum bag

or maybe they're not actually a 'couple' either & she knows he's playing around.

Let's assume she has two partners.How many casual sex partners her pregnancy author has? How many women is her fwb buddy having sex with? No one knows really where this chain starts and ends. Maybe it ends with the pregnant girlfriend or maybe she's of a similar habit and has 4 fuck buddies of her own - great, she won't be alarmed then, it's the 21st Century after all 🤷

Sensible and safe casual sex doesn't produce pregnancies in every fertile female on the go.

Tell her OP.

And I can't at all judge OP's sex life, as I've likely done worse where the morals of sex are concerned. It's just awful that there is an unwitting participant in this. That ain't right at all.