Should I tell her he's been sleeping with me

[Damaged27]

Changed name for this as its really outing. My ex and I have been sleeping together since we broke up kind of a fwb situation. Where not together and free to do whatever with whoever. However iv just found out, not from him that he has been in a relationship with another woman for almost a year and she is a minimum of 12 weeks pregnant with his child. He has not said a word to me about this. Aibu to tell her or should I just walk away and let them have their little family.
Yabu. Don't tell her
Yanbu. Tell her what a cheating asshole she is with.

Why on earth do you think you should take the moral high ground ?

OP, did you inform your FWB that you recently had an abortion? You seem to be annoyed that he kept private his relationship. What about you? Were you honest at all times?

She deserves to know and he 100% should have told you that he was in a serious relationship, he's unwittingly made you the OW while you thought it was FWB. He sounds a charmer!

I think it’s fine for grown adults to have consensual sex with whoever they like.

It certainly is. What isn't great is the fact that this is unprotected sex between a number of people

What are we coming to- this is just a modern anonymous letter? Pathetic.

Yes- and they can discuss it with whoever they choose. So if OP chooses to tell new girlfriend that's fine.

What a bizarre thing to have said! How could the baby of his new girlfriend possibly be yours... Do people not learn basic biology at school any more?!🤔

Just don’t have any more to do with him!

You owe it to the woman to tell her. If you don't turn you are protecting a cheating man. She deserves to know the truth, and it's the right thing to do.

Someone long up thread set it out well. Tell her you've been having sex with your ex as a casual arrangement since x date and had no idea he was in a relationship. You've found out due to the pregnancy announcement but not via him. You are cutting all contact with him now and wanted her to know the truth.

It's easy and simple. You don't need to worry about how she will take it or what he will say to her. You just tell her, then stop seeing him, and that's it.

It's the morally and ethically right thing to do. The choice is simple: support a woman who needs to know the truth, or support a cheating liar of a man.

How nasty can you be?

The 2 things are not even close to being similar as you well know.

Iv spoke to him he says he doesn't want to be with this woman and feels like she trapped him with the baby 🙄 he said he's gonna break it off with her. So time will tell what happens with that but it's hopefully taken the responsibility of me.

Lol, of course she did. If he didn't want a baby then he should've worn a condom ffs

Which is why he was showing off the scan photos online? Sorry to say I think this guy has you all wrapped around his little finger. He sounds like a real winner.

I know he's full of shit

And let me guess, he'll wait til she's 30 weeks before telling her he doesn't want to be with her, whilst using her body. And still getting it off with you and whoever else.

Why is this being played out on this thread? Will you be telling her or not? If not, why are any of us even posting here?

Sounds to me like a ploy to stop you from telling her while he continues the relationship with fun on the side.

He says he's gonna break up with her I have to give him that chance whether it's true or not before I speak to her

I don't think he deserves a chance to speak to her first. He'll probably try to spin things into you being he crazy ex 🙄

You don't owe him anything.

@Damaged27 I would still tell her because even if they do split up, she might get back with him in future, because she doesn't have information about what he's like.

Please give her the power to split from him, he sounds like such a prick

Can I make a suggestion?

You don't have any children together and this guy is do full of crap.

Just eliminate him from your life completely once and for all. Block him on everything and have zero contact ever again.

The level of drama and ridiculousness in your life will plummet immediately.

Sounds like she'll be dealing with enough shit to figure him out soon. Whether you slept with him or not won't actually have an impact. She'll have enough reasons to cut him off anyway & if she doesn't the fact you slept with him won't change it.

Is there any reason you can't or won't just cease all contact immediately?

By your own admission you're in a FWB with your ex, you're both free to do whatever with whomever you like.

I would then concur it is none of your business whom he is or not sleeping with, regardless of how long he's been sleeping with them, whether he's exclusive or not, whether she's pregnant or not.

This situation is not that unusual.

This is why some men like FWB set ups because it enables dodgy behaviours whilst giving them a veneer of being decent and honest.

Your ex has the best of both worlds - that is his choice. That's the whole point of FWB - you do whatever you want so does he

You have no solid clue the basis of his relationship with the pregnant woman and cannot assume that she doesn't know about you. I would imagine any Facebook posts you've read would not disclose such detail.

Your choice is to either continue or end the FWB set up.

His choice is his business, you are not responsible for his morals or lack of them.